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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell people that my twins are five?

608 replies

lukasiak · 23/07/2020 03:09

Even though they technically don't turn five until November?

Dh is in a right hump about it. He thinks by me telling everybody that they are already five that it makes people place age inappropriate expectations on them. I think it's all just semantics, and those who actually need to know their real age know it. It's a bad habit I picked up from my mother, and my older children have survived me rounding their age up once their birthdays drew close with out being labelled as having additional needs, as seems to be DH's primary concern.

Is it really that big of a deal?

OP posts:
dottiedodah · 23/07/2020 08:46

What happens when their Birthday comes round ? Everyone will think they are already 5 so will buy a card for a 6 year old! Sorry OP with your DH here it just seems odd to me .

Theforest · 23/07/2020 08:47

What's wrong with saying 4? That's what they are

Original poster
lukasiak · 23/07/2020 08:47

@TinySleepThief

Are you just going to blatantly ignore any ones questions regarding if you will stop, what you do on their actual birthdays etc?
We have birthday parties on their birthday. What did you think we did: wore black, water fasted, then observed a minute of silence?
OP posts:
MotherMorph · 23/07/2020 08:48

I was expecting this to be pretending kids are 5 because a) 5 and unders go free at some paying attraction or b) you had to be a minimum of 5 to join in an activity they wanted to do......but it seems like there isnt actually any reason to pretend they are 5 Confused

upsidedownwavylegs · 23/07/2020 08:49

Interesting that they’ve turned into ‘my 3 and 4 year olds’, ‘DS2 and DS3’. Twins is quite a common lie on here.

MargotB7 · 23/07/2020 08:49

I've never known anyone to do this. I'm with your DH. I think it's weird

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 23/07/2020 08:50

People are just going to look at you and assume you don't know, don't care or can't remember.

To persist in doing it even though you are aware it's odd and your partner doesn't appreciate it just seems unreasonable.

A friend won't give straight answers because I think it makes her feel superior when we are jumping through hoops trying to get all the information. It's all a game to irritate us or keep the attention on her. People lose patience and stop bothering eventually.

HollowTalk · 23/07/2020 08:50

OP, you win the prize for the strangest thread on here

TinySleepThief · 23/07/2020 08:50

We have birthday parties on their birthday. What did you think we did: wore black, water fasted, then observed a minute of silence?

Well honestly as I and others have pointed out I'm actually not sure why you would bother doing anything at all. It's hardly an exciting day given they will have been told they are 5 for months beforehand so what the point in celebrating?

Aquicknamechange2019 · 23/07/2020 08:50

@CodenameVillanelle

Also, do they not get the specialness of saying 'I'm 5!' On their birthday, because you've told everyone they are 5 for the past 6 months?! That's a big deal for small children. You are robbing them of their moment to go up a year by fudging their ages. Stop it.
This! Stop it.
Itisbetter · 23/07/2020 08:51

If you say they are 5 for most of us that means an age range of 5 to 5.999999 so they would in other people’s eyes be up to a year and four months older than their true age. Most twins come early, and most are a little behind developmentally for the first couple of years because they are prem and get less adult attention. It all comes out in the wash BUT a four and half year old twin is going to be far behind a cusp of six year old singleton. Here they’d have already started school.

Hercwasonaroll · 23/07/2020 08:52

The more you post, the more you sound absolutely BONKERS!

No wonder your kid wanted to be halfway across the world from you

Ninkanink · 23/07/2020 08:52

That’s a really odd thing to do, tbh.

Original poster
lukasiak · 23/07/2020 08:53

@upsidedownwavylegs

Interesting that they’ve turned into ‘my 3 and 4 year olds’, ‘DS2 and DS3’. Twins is quite a common lie on here.
Or because I have three sons. Ds1, Ds2, Ds3...
OP posts:
SoupDragon · 23/07/2020 08:53

It's a bad habit I picked up from my mother

Even you agree that it is wrong in your OP.

Chungus · 23/07/2020 08:53

So they aren't even twins? I really think you need help.

CorianderLord · 23/07/2020 08:53

But they're four....

Do you say you're 50 when you're still 49?

Babs709 · 23/07/2020 08:53

@upsidedownwavylegs
Interesting that they’ve turned into ‘my 3 and 4 year olds’, ‘DS2 and DS3’. Twins is quite a common lie on here.

I think OP has 5 children: 16, 13, twin five year olds (or is that four, I’ve lost track) and a three year old.

But yes, twins does seem to be suspiciously common on here. Always baffled me that people could fantasise about having twins. Twice as much work surely!

Boohoohoohooho · 23/07/2020 08:54

.Its weird. I don't understand why it would cross your mind to do it.

Ninkanink · 23/07/2020 08:54

Hmmm. Perhaps the appropriate response is a Biscuit

Limer · 23/07/2020 08:54

I can't believe this is real, but if it is, I get it now. You're a 'dance mom' and a 'skate mom'. So you boast about and exaggerate EVERYTHING concerning your children. Even to the extent of exaggerating their ages.

2pinkginsplease · 23/07/2020 08:54

Bizarre!

Billben · 23/07/2020 08:55

How on earth can a child skate before they can even walk ?

That just makes no sense. I can tolerate people exaggerating a little bit but when they are talking absolute bollocks I’ve got no time for them anymore.

Smellbellina · 23/07/2020 08:56

If you actually think a child is being abused maybe you should flag it to Mumsnet. If not, don't say things like that.

Is that an MN rule or just what you think should happen?

Toothsil · 23/07/2020 08:56

That is so weird! They're still 4 for ages yet, it's not like it's a couple of weeks till their birthday. You're missing out on chunks of each age while they're still really young. The whole thing is odd.