To be annoyed the cleaner travelled abroad while we paid her not to clean?

[MaroonMacaron]

NC for this.

First of all, I know that I can’t ban anyone from travelling but I am annoyed and wondering if I have the right to be.

Our cleaner stopped coming at the beginning of lockdown. We continued to pay her weekly, I know some clients paid a proportion, some nothing at all. She was very grateful, said it was a huge help as she was skint.

As soon as lockdown lifted, she got on the plane to visit family in her home country (on the list with no need to quarantine).

All this time we’ve been super careful, not seen any grandparents, very little travel locally, let alone abroad (dh’s family is from Sweden and we’d love to visit but we are giving it more time). As I said, I know I can’t ban someone from travelling but then she’s clearly not that skint if she can afford plane tickets. I also think she has increased the risk to herself, and everyone she works for, by travelling at this time. I guess it doesn’t sit right with me that the money i was thinking was helping her through lockdown was actually funding her travelling.

YABU - she can spend her money any way she likes
YANBU - I would be annoyed as well

Totally unreasonable. Do you want a slave or a valued worker?

How do you know she paid for the tickets?

Yabu. What she chooses to spend her money on is her business

YABU - she can spend her money how she likes.

YABU. I don't have voting buttons. We paid our cleaner to keep her. We were lucky that we have both worked throughout Covid and could afford it. She can spend that money any way she wants. If you're worried about risk when she returns ask her not to come for two weeks but most countries seem to be dealing with Covid better than us at this point

Do you normally pay her when she is on holiday? If not I'd not pay her when she is away.

For all you know her family bought her tickets to visit them.

I think she can do what she likes, you don’t own her. Paying her was a kind thing to do but it didn’t give you control over what she did with the money.

Its her money? She can spend it on what she wants.

Pay her what you think is fair. It's not for you to decide how she should spend it.

She was seeing her family, not boozing it up, and also acting fully within legal limits. Maybe she saved like a madwoman to be able to do it and lived off bread and beans for months. Does she have to run her budget by you as a condition of employment? What she does with her money and her free time is 100% her business, and any alternative to that is dystopian and controlling as fuck. If you choose not to travel yet when the governments of both Sweden and the UK allow you to, that's your business, but YABU bigtime to expect to impose your parameters on someone because you employ her to clean.

YAB so completely U I can't believe you seriously posted this.

Is she back cleaning with you now? If you're really worried about infection, just tell her not to come for two more weeks.

But the health issue doesn't seem to be your main concern, does it? Do you work? How would you feel if your boss/clients put restrictions on how you could spend your money (if it was your salary or your savings) or your time (if it was paid for by your relatives, say)?

She’s your cleaner, not your slave. Many plane tickets are ridiculously cheap right now so maybe she wanted to take advantage of this and go visit her family, or maybe a generous family member paid for the ticket. Either way, YABU!

Maybe her family paid. I’m not from here either and would be perplexed if someone told me not travel to see my family.

You can tell her she can come back two weeks after her return and not pay her for those two weeks? But if she’s seeing other clients who may have too travelled or been going to work on public transport, then that boat sailed anyway.

Wtf?she's your cleaner that's all, you don't own her body & soul. Seriously you are being totally unreasonable I'm surprised you even need to ask.

She’s not your slave you know - she can visit her family. Good God. You chose not to travel - she did and it was legal. How do you know how she paid her tickets? Maybe her family bought them for her?

You cannot be serious!

You didn’t have to pay her , if she’s self employed and does her accounts correctly there was probably something she was entitled to .

And by the way, welcome to Mumsnet.

Quiet day at the Mail, is it?

Bloody hellOP your post is the definition of entitlement.

She flew to her home country where there was no requirement to quarantine?

Christ alive as long as we was displaying no symptoms before or after I cannot see what your issue is

Dominic Cummings did far worse I don't see what this poor lady has done so wrong?!

YABU

She was seeing her family, not boozing it up
Boozing it up would also be a legal and totally acceptable thing to do.

OP you chose to pay her. Why does it make any difference to you if she spent it on milk, on a holiday or gave it all to charity? Did you give her the money and say she could only have it on the proviso that she let's you know how she spends every penny?

What did you want her to spend the money on?

Jesus YABU you don't OWN her....

Lol. I think bonded labour is illegal OP. HTH.

Do you want her to pass all of her decisions through you? You're ridiculous