To be annoyed the cleaner travelled abroad while we paid her not to clean?

[MaroonMacaron]

NC for this.

First of all, I know that I can’t ban anyone from travelling but I am annoyed and wondering if I have the right to be.

Our cleaner stopped coming at the beginning of lockdown. We continued to pay her weekly, I know some clients paid a proportion, some nothing at all. She was very grateful, said it was a huge help as she was skint.

As soon as lockdown lifted, she got on the plane to visit family in her home country (on the list with no need to quarantine).

All this time we’ve been super careful, not seen any grandparents, very little travel locally, let alone abroad (dh’s family is from Sweden and we’d love to visit but we are giving it more time). As I said, I know I can’t ban someone from travelling but then she’s clearly not that skint if she can afford plane tickets. I also think she has increased the risk to herself, and everyone she works for, by travelling at this time. I guess it doesn’t sit right with me that the money i was thinking was helping her through lockdown was actually funding her travelling.

YABU - she can spend her money any way she likes
YANBU - I would be annoyed as well

You chose to pay her during lockdown. That was generous of you, but in no way gives you any say on how she lives her life, before, during or after.

I can't believe that according to the poll, 12% of people think yanbu!

OP you know you are being completely unreasonable.

Aw poor Lady Bountiful eh? Feeling all magnanimous imagining it was your contribution that stood between her and starvation and she thanks you not by curtsying and rationing her gruel appropriately but instead SPENDS HER MONEY AS SHE SEES FIT 😲.

I think you are sort of NBU, but couldn't vote because I think your own reasoning for why you might NBU is a bit shit.

By travelling abroad she has been not social distancing, so if you feel unable to have her in your home because of that then say so and don't pay for any sessions missed from now on, until she is out of any risk from travelling.

It is about her ability to do the job, not a moral judgement about whether she should have been travelling on your individual 'furlough' scheme.

In the first place, did you tell her not to come because you wanted to isolate, or sis she say she couldn't / wouldn't come into people;s houses?

Bloody hell. Sounds like you want a slave rather than a cleaner. Yabvvu

I would probably tell you where to stick your job. For all you know family probably paid for her, if she stayed with family she wouldnt need a lot of money to go.

IF this is real ('cos, y'know .....) then OP you SERIOUSLY need to have a rethink about how you view your own importance. Who the hell do you think you are?!?!

I have no other words tbh!

You just can't get the staff nowadays can you?

What she does with her money is absolutely none of your business. For all you know she was so desperate to see her family that she's put the bill on a credit card, or maybe the flights were a gift from someone. And if travel is permitted it's not for you - or indeed anyone - to sit in judgment.

Or do you genuinely feel that you threw her some crumbs during lockdown and now you get to judge what she spends your charity on?

I can see why you name changed for this OP.

You're not the same OP who posted about barbed wire & cats in the veg patch recently are you? I see that thread was removed, this one is just as perverse, I'm struggling to believe you can be genuine.

You don't own her just because you pay her to do what you can't be bothered to.
If you didn't want to pay a retainer you didn't have to.
Perhaps hire another one with a stipulation in the contract that you have to ok anything they buy.

None of your business OP, you chose for her not to continue to clean and you chose to pay her. Why is she not allowed to visit her family ? Surely after everything going on her first priority was that if her loved ones. Yabu.

Apart from anything else, how do you know her parents didn't pay for the tickets?

Maybe her family paid for her tickets? Maybe she rebooked at no cost from a trip that was cancelled during lockdown?

Just confiscate her passport next time, that'll learn her.

Hope she didn’t buy anything frivolous like alcohol or nice steaks either. When she obviously should be living frugally and on beans and rice.

I’ve paid my dog walker throughout even though haven’t used her. She told me the other day she’s going on a week’s holiday next month. It never crossed my mind to be annoyed about this. I wished her a good holiday like a normal person would.

Entirely unreasonable. She's not your slave and it's none of your business.

Wow you sound batshit OP...

Yabu, and you sound extremely controlling. Absolutely none of your business how she spends her money.

Sorry OP I think she had the right to spend her money. You were also right to continue to pay her - many people wouldn’t have done so. The issue was that it was not possible under lockdown but regardless, it’s not for an employer to say what she spends her money on.

Just because you kept paying her doe not give you the right to judge where she goes or what she does

What a horrible post

I am well and truly disgusted by your post op.

You chose to pay her, it’s none of your business what she does or when she does it.