To be annoyed the cleaner travelled abroad while we paid her not to clean?

[MaroonMacaron]

NC for this.

First of all, I know that I can’t ban anyone from travelling but I am annoyed and wondering if I have the right to be.

Our cleaner stopped coming at the beginning of lockdown. We continued to pay her weekly, I know some clients paid a proportion, some nothing at all. She was very grateful, said it was a huge help as she was skint.

As soon as lockdown lifted, she got on the plane to visit family in her home country (on the list with no need to quarantine).

All this time we’ve been super careful, not seen any grandparents, very little travel locally, let alone abroad (dh’s family is from Sweden and we’d love to visit but we are giving it more time). As I said, I know I can’t ban someone from travelling but then she’s clearly not that skint if she can afford plane tickets. I also think she has increased the risk to herself, and everyone she works for, by travelling at this time. I guess it doesn’t sit right with me that the money i was thinking was helping her through lockdown was actually funding her travelling.

YABU - she can spend her money any way she likes
YANBU - I would be annoyed as well

I make my childminder give me her shopping list every week, just so I can be sure the money I pay her is spent on things I approve of.

Yabu am afraid OP.
You could not have her over for a few weeks?

Is this serious? Of course YABU

Of course YANBU. Cheeky cow should be on her hands and knees thanking you daily for doing the decent thing and paying. She should only be eating rice and beans and wiping her arse with newspaper, not taking flights to see her FAMILY.

YABU- a lot of people from different countries save hard to visit their families back home. It doesn't mean they have loads of money, they just have it as their top priority and don't do much else with their money.

As there's no quarantine for flying, that means where she went isn't considered high risk, so her going wouldn't particularly be a risk to you or anyone. It's probably more risky for her to be here.

I thought slavery was illegal these days.

Just wow.

Had you asked her to come back to work once lockdown had lifted?

YABU. If you pay someone (that also includes wages while they're working normally), then you have to accept that they may choose to spend some of it on things that you wouldn't personally approve of. If she'd broken the rules, it would be a bit different; but, rightly or wrongly, the government did permit travel to the country in question (according to you). I'm choosing to avoid travel at the moment myself, but if it's legal, it's legal. She wasn't taking a luxury vacation, but visiting family members whom she may very well not have a chance to see often. It's not compulsory to pay a cleaner for the time when she's not working (though I think it's the right thing to do, if you can); but if yo do, it's done so as to prevent something out of their control from affecting their finances too badly; not a charitable donation that they can only receive if they prove that they're utterly penniless.

@Hoggleludo

I paid my cleaner because she's amazing

I don't care whether she buys food. Or male escorts. She's good at her job

That's like saying you can only buy food on the money your employer gives YOU!

Ridiculous!

@Hoggleludo where do you get the male escorts? Asking for a friend.

You don’t own her.

Sounds like she'll be quarantining on unpaid leave to me.

Has she visited a place where quarantine is still required? If not then why would she need to have unpaid quarantine time?

Was she expected to be at work during the time she was away?

Do you normally sensor her spending?!

Never heard anything like it .

By travelling abroad she has been not social distancing,

How do you know she hasn't!?

I'm currently abroad. I have socially distanced throughout our time away including during travel. At no point have I been within 2m if anyone for any length of time, let alone 1m.

Honestly I am sure you don’t mean it - but she can spend her wage anyway she likes - she isn’t a slave.

Jesus Christ.
I’ve heard it all now.
Why not just make her sleep in your basement and wear potato sacks.

Op has posted and run.

@Mydogisthebestest

If you find out. Let me know. For a friend obviously. 😝

YABVU. It's none of your business.

If she'd shopped in Waitrose while on lockdown would you have been aggrieved at that too because of your perception of an unearned luxury.

Unbelievable

OP won't be back surely?

YABVU btw. Do you own her? Its not her problem you've not been to see DH's family - its yours!

Excellent bait OP!

I have visions of the employee in a black dress with a set of keys swinging from her waist

She may have bought the plane tickets prior to all this or had a credit with the airline for a cancelled flight that she had to “use or lose”. Or the tickets may have been a gift from her family. You know how much she makes per hour and you know how much tickets cost. The likelihood is that she has been saving for a long time or they were a gift.

Just because you are too scared to travel somewhere, don’t assume she is. She probably sees her family less often than you see yours.

You are being extremely unreasonable.
You don’t know that her family didn’t pay for her or helped with flights.
Even if she paid, so what?
She is seeing family after lockdown.
Even if she were going on pure holiday, so what?
It is her money to do with as she pleases.
She’ll be on low income I’d think anyway and I personally would admire her for saving to travel and prioritising seeing family.
All totally understandable.
Would you prefer she spend the money she gets for her work on things you approve of ? Or that you sanction?
Once you laid her that’s that.
Good for you btw for continuing to pay her and how lovely she has been able to see family.

You pay for her services, you don't own her.