Playground etiquette

[piscis]

I have been in a few playgrounds with my DD (3yo) since they opened on 4th July.
First time was a bit strange, didn't know how to act...so when my DD went to play with other kids in the sandpit, I asked the mum who was sat there if that was ok with her (it was fine with me as I wouldn't go to a playground to forbid my DD to play with another kid!) and she said, "of course, it is fine".

After a few more times in playgrounds, it became obvious to me that people going to playgrounds were quite relaxed and assumed that kids play together and are going to mix up and it was not a problem at all. We just play as usual and then clean our hands.

Until today. My DD went near another girl and asked her " what's your name?" And the mum (who was with another mum and kid) say very quickly " only the two of them are playing together". My DD takes rejection quite well actually, and she only asked me why. But only a few minutes after, there was another mum and girl, and after my DD went towards her to start talking to her, her mum quickly told her "move away!" (Not to my DD, but to her own daughter) like she was some kind of leper...

I mean, I know that the advice is still maintaining social distancing but is it realistic for kids so young to do it when going to the playground? Using the equipment in the playground is good but surely one of the most important things for kids is playing together. What's the point of going to the playground if you are not allowed to go near another kid? Doesn't it defy the point ?!

Is it not a bit mean being in the playground and turning away a kid that comes near you? I know people have their own worries and they are even following the guidance but to be honest I find it a bit mean, I wouldn't go to forbid my kid to play with another kid or telling a kid "don't come near Us". I think that if someone is so so worried about catching the virus, it is better not to go, because it is not realistic and kids can take this quite bad (not my DD luckily).

I think if you’re bothered about your child coming into contact with other kids at a playground where there are lots of kids, it’s probably best to not go.

I'm a bit torn because my antisocial kids don't go to a park to play with other children; they go to have fun on the equipment. Same could be the case for this other parent. So I don't necessarily agree that the other parent was wrong to keep a bit of distance if it makes them more comfortable.
I would not have acted like another child was a leper though if one came near mine to play with / alongside them.

I have been going to quieter playgrounds but I expect my children to social distance and I would be frustrated if other parents were encouraging it.

My children are happy to go on the equipment and are not fussed about playing with others. At the moment if I take them individually so they can't play together they'll play with me.

Bit on the fence here. I don't think they shouldn't use the playground because they want to observe the rules. I think that's as much their prerogative as it is yours to not observe the rules!

My kids don't always want to be arsed with other kids anyway. Sometimes they do, sometimes, like me, they just want to do their own thing without making an effort!

My DD goes to the playground to play with other children, my DS goes to the playground to play alone on the equipment, he is a day dreamer and happiest in his own company. I can see how if I only had a child like DS, I might think that going to the playground would work with social distancing. It would be better if the other parent explained this gently though, rather than treating you like a threat.

And no, actually, I DON'T think the point IS to play with other kids, no. Not at all!

When I've taken mine can't say I've seen much social distancing. It's lovely to see children play together. En route home my son tried to follow a much older girl up a tree, he's 3 so didn't get very far. She said she was only allowed to play with her brother. They weren't anywhere near the play park though they was in a much quieter area

Those mothers are idiots- have a private play date if you are that worried about child limits etc.

My kids have never been the type to go up to and play with other kids in the park so tbh I find it annoying when other kids come over to us especially when the parent isn’t supervising and they just want their child to have some company in the playground so they can sit on the bench playing on their phone ignoring their child, so maybe she was saying it because of that and using social distancing as an excuse? Anyway it’s common sense that they were different people and some people won’t mind and others will.

My children know full well to social distance, they went to the park the other day and were upset the other children there weren’t keeping a safe distance and asked to come home. You should talk to your child about keeping a distance, it’s possible to play with someone from a distance. I’d also be frustrated by parents encouraging their child NOT to social distance.

Well, unless the children are in the same bubble (like at school) then they should be social distancing so the other mother was right anyway. You should respect the rules and explain them to your child, nicely.

My dd also goes to play on the equipment, not with other children. She has autism, you wouldn't know it by seeing or speaking to her, she's very verbal with no learning difficulties. I take her when it's quiet regardless of COVID because she likes to play alone. If she was playing on the equipment and your child went over she'd move away or leave. You'd probably just think her rude or unsociable.

So perhaps the mother wanted to maintain social distancing, as she's supposed to (just because you think there's not much point doesn't mean others feel the same) or perhaps her child is more of a child who likes to play alone.

Let's not teach our children - especially our daughters - that it's not ok to say 'no thanks' sometimes. It is.

I'm letting my children play normally. At 7 & 9 they're more independent and it's stiffling to be helicoptered.

It's a low risk outdoors environment.
Most communities have very, very low previlence of the virus.
Most children have very low risk of exposure to the virus and less than half have been to school in 4 months.

A month ago I had a very lethargic, down 7 yo. Since getting back to playgrounds and some age appropriate play and interactions, he is much happier.

If I was paronoid about the risks of children playing and interacting in public spaces, I would avoid them. I'm not setting up my children to learn unnatural social habits to have to unlearn when normality resumes (especially for my 9yo with ASD)

I think it depends. Kids playing on the same equipment is fine and normal for a playground. You can't claim ownership over anything except a swing for a couple of minutes.

Expecting to join in games with other kids isn't really good park etiquette at any time is it?

It's absolutely fine for people who are happy not to social distance as long as the ones who wish to are respected. It seems massively unfair that some people seem to think that people who wish follow the guidelines for whatever reason should be the ones who don't go.

@Foxinsocks1

My children know full well to social distance, they went to the park the other day and were upset the other children there weren’t keeping a safe distance and asked to come home. You should talk to your child about keeping a distance, it’s possible to play with someone from a distance. I’d also be frustrated by parents encouraging their child NOT to social distance.

At 3! Guess your children have willpower of steel! Which is why nurseries, Pre schools etc cant and don't enforce social distancing.

As pp said if parents are concerned about very young children not being able to social distance, then don't take them to a public park.

Playgrounds are primarily for young children, there’s more children than equipment, to expect social distancing to be observed you are either naive or stupid. You don’t have to take your child to a playground if you are that worried.

Playgrounds are primarily for young children, there’s more children than equipment, to expect social distancing to be observed you are either naive or stupid.

One could say that someone was stupid for assuming that all playgrounds have the same equipment to child ratio. Since Covid I have only taken my children to quieter playgrounds at quieter times so there aren't more children than equipment.

I think if people don’t want to mix just accept that and move on. I’m chilled about by children not social distancing etc but some parents aren’t .

Since Covid I have only taken my children to quieter playgrounds at quieter times so there aren't more children than equipment jeeze there’s always one. Mostly there’s more children than equipment. On a nice day in July or August it’s unrealistic to expect 1 child per piece of equipment.

nerrsnerr (love the name, btw!) I agree. "I don't like the rules of the playground and if you do you shouldn't be here" is entirely backwards!

We walked past a little girl a few weeks back and she started screaming hysterically because of it . I felt so sorry for her to have being made to feel so scared for someone to walk past her.
just carrying on asking first, most people are fine with it, I certainly am, but there will be an odd few who still arnt.

On a nice day in July or August it’s unrealistic to expect 1 child per piece of equipment.

I agree and more than one child can be on a climbing frame, slide etc. That's not a problem. The OP was specifically about playing with other children which of course is closer contact. Even pre Covid not all children want to play with others and I would prefer to maintain a social distance especially as I work in a hospital so if any family is asymptomatic and passing it on it's likely to be us. I don't understand why respecting people's wishes when it comes to social distancing is a bad thing?

This is what is a big concern of mine: the mental impact on our children, it's bad enough "mommy, I touched that, is it okay?..... mommy I picked up the post is it okay?" honestly, the fallout from this is going to be catastrophic.

And yet everyday I see tweets from the wonderful Prof Sikora and figures like the rate of infection 0.25% etc. and the fact that PHE are now being investigated for inflating the figures - it's all going to come crashing down and who will feel the effects the most after this is all in the past? our children. It's awful and the fact we've known for so long now, certainly in Israel and Switzerland, that young children are not at risk (I think 4 children have died with complications with (not solely from) covid in UK). It's terrible.

I’ve found the same as you that almost all parents who are taking their children to the playground are quite relaxed. My children don’t go to the playground to play with other children but they might end up interacting or playing with them and it doesn’t bother me.

What's the point of going to the playground if you are not allowed to go near another kid?

er, to play on the swings; in the sandpit; on the roundabout; on the slide; on the climbing frame; on those things on giant springs ?

What an odd thing to say. My dc are grown now but we never went to play areas with the aim of going to mix with others, we went to use the equipment, which I'd have thought was the whole point.

The play area we pass on one of our regular walks has notices up, reminding people to try to maintain a 2m distance, and there is a number limit in the area at any one time (advised, presumably, as obviously it isn't staffed).

All parents have to make their own judgement call on how much they want their dc to mix with strangers, but I don't think you can criticise parents for having a different position from you.