Playground etiquette

[piscis]

I have been in a few playgrounds with my DD (3yo) since they opened on 4th July.
First time was a bit strange, didn't know how to act...so when my DD went to play with other kids in the sandpit, I asked the mum who was sat there if that was ok with her (it was fine with me as I wouldn't go to a playground to forbid my DD to play with another kid!) and she said, "of course, it is fine".

After a few more times in playgrounds, it became obvious to me that people going to playgrounds were quite relaxed and assumed that kids play together and are going to mix up and it was not a problem at all. We just play as usual and then clean our hands.

Until today. My DD went near another girl and asked her " what's your name?" And the mum (who was with another mum and kid) say very quickly " only the two of them are playing together". My DD takes rejection quite well actually, and she only asked me why. But only a few minutes after, there was another mum and girl, and after my DD went towards her to start talking to her, her mum quickly told her "move away!" (Not to my DD, but to her own daughter) like she was some kind of leper...

I mean, I know that the advice is still maintaining social distancing but is it realistic for kids so young to do it when going to the playground? Using the equipment in the playground is good but surely one of the most important things for kids is playing together. What's the point of going to the playground if you are not allowed to go near another kid? Doesn't it defy the point ?!

Is it not a bit mean being in the playground and turning away a kid that comes near you? I know people have their own worries and they are even following the guidance but to be honest I find it a bit mean, I wouldn't go to forbid my kid to play with another kid or telling a kid "don't come near Us". I think that if someone is so so worried about catching the virus, it is better not to go, because it is not realistic and kids can take this quite bad (not my DD luckily).

@MessAllOver

I think going to the playground should be a positive and friendly experience for children. Any adults who are being unfriendly or rude (or encouraging their children to be so) to children who accidentally come a little too close should really just go home and leave the rest of us to it.

That said, there are sensible things we can do to minimise risks, such as using hand sanitiser before and after and gently discouraging hugging and prolonged close contact. My two year old knows that 'we're not hugging anyone but mummy at the moment'. Luckily, he's not "huggy" so he respects that, but he did get cuddled quite violently by a pigtailed 4 year old the other day which I found quite funny! Her mother was very apologetic, though.

one dad encouraging his boys to barge past some nervous girls waiting at the top of the slide.

The dad was in the wrong, but I'm totally with the boys, I'm afraid. There is nothing worse than 'slide-blockers' at the playground ! To be polite, I try to encourage my DS not to barge past them and to wait, but really the parents of the slide-blockers should tell them either to get on with it or remove them from the slide so others can have their go.

As the parent of a toddler who only got confident with her walking during lockdown please be a bit more patient! Yes my daughter can be hesitant on the play equipment, but that is because it's all new to her. Before lockdown all she could do was be lifted onto the slide or swing. We encourage her to climb, sit down and slide down but why shouldn't she be allowed on the equipment just because she isn't as speedy as you'd like? In normal circumstances she'd have gradually got her confidence over the last 3 months, but now she's discovering it all at once, which is taking time.

why shouldn't she be allowed on the equipment just because she isn't as speedy as you'd like

Sorry, I wasn't talking about the crawlers and very little ones on the baby equipment! We're not into barging babies here ...I've drummed it into my (big) toddler that he has to be careful and gentle around smaller children. He uses the big slide at our playground anyway where it's generally older children (4+) who are blocking the slide. In my view, they're fair game for a 2.5 year old to push past!

no one is saying you have to abide by social distancing with others who don't want to or sanitise etc but is it really too much to ask to respect the ones who wish to? I’m saying it’s impractical in such an environment. Separate to covid I wouldn’t let me daughter touch another child, that’s about personal space, which is fine. Phrases such as “let the little girl/ boy go first” , “don’t rush them” etc come out of my mouth frequently as good manners. But I’m not measuring a metre and pulling my child back from another because of covid. If that’s what you expect from a playground on the whole you will be disappointed.

@Flev. Should also say that I find the wobbly toddlers just getting their 'playground legs' super-cute .

@MessAllOver thanks, and sorry I may have overreacted as she has been pushed and tutted at. She's only 20 months but really tall so I think some people think she's quite a bit older than she is.

@BackforGood

What an odd thing to say. My dc are grown now but we never went to play areas with the aim of going to mix with others, we went to use the equipment, which I'd have thought was the whole point.

As your children are grown up and they weren’t young during covid you probably weren’t aware of how much ‘mixing’ they did with other children at the playground as then it was natural and normal so you wouldn’t have given it a moments thought.

I have a nearly 3 year old, how do you expect her to comprehend this? I’m not allowing her to lick another child, but I’m not pushing her back 1 metre from another child on a climbing frame*
@OnlyFoolsnMothers
then you either stand right by her so you can move her or you simply don’t go. A vulnerable child should be able to go to a playground and their parent know the guidance will be followed to keep them safe. Such children could only just be about to stop shielding and not left their homes for months. Your attitude is incredibly selfish.

Everyone is different. Some are following the rules some aren't.

As parents it's up to us to explain in child friendly terms about the virus. To also explain that the other children are not being rude, they are just following rules and being careful.

Some children are so tiny they forget that they need to keep a distance or even understand it properly. So it is up to the parent to speak up. This can come across as rude, however we all need to understand that everyone has their own opinions and we can't take for granted that they want their children mixing with strangers.

I brought my disabled dd to the local playground, there's a fantastic swing there that fits her wheelchair. Obviously I am totally paranoid about covid as she is so ill. I've isolated her since the beginning with very quiet days on the road outside and our garden. 3 children came over, touching her, her face, her chair, her hair, they were eating ice cream and sticking it in her face asking if she wanted some. 4 times I politely told the children that dd has special needs and can't eat food and doesn't like to be touched, one kid wouldn't stop, got very forceful and dropped ice cream on her shorts, dd cried and I asked the children to move away. I got dog abuse from 2 mother's about not bringing my child out if I was so protective, to let her mix to build her immune system to stay home and not be out abusing other children. I want abusing or rude to the children, they didn't see it hear all that happened, just the end but they seemed to only pick up on me asking the kids to move away. Also my dd has every right to be out, I'm extra careful with her and I was trying to ensure no one came near her but people took offence.

The bottom line is, while my dd has obvious illnesses, some have hidden illnesses so we can't assume everyone is healthy. Everyone has the right to be out and enjoy facilities and if a parent wants quiet play for their child, that's OK too. Not everyone wants a load of kids hanging out of them. We don't know enough about this virus and kids so isn't it better to be safe than sorry.

If you live in an area where children are expected to socially distance in parks (certainly England) it's not unreasonable for people to want to socially distance.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers you clearly don't have experience of having an unwell or disabled child. Should a child be expected to stay at home because other parents refuse to adhere to government guidelines? If you want to make those decisions for your own child fair enough but let others who want to follow the guidelines get on with it.

If you seriously cannot stop your child playing with other children and this is completely out of your control you have bigger issues.

Lipz what happened to your child is appalling. Out of covid times I wouldn’t let my child touch another child, that’s manners and personal space!

As for what we know about the virus: we know:
Children have so far accounted for between 1%-5% of all diagnosed cases, they experience far milder symptoms. 5 children in the U.K. have died of corona virus.

I'm not overly concerned about my children getting unwell will Covid. I'm concerned about them passing it on if they get it and someone else becoming unwell. I have two colleagues who are still suffering 4 months after a Covid diagnosis. They are both age 50-60 and not classed as vulnerable, no long term conditions. This is why I choose to wear a mask, why I choose to socially distance.

I completely understand that children may get a bit close at the playground and I wouldn't shout at children or be stroppy with their parents. All I am asking is to respect our wishes that we don't want to play in close proximity right now.

As I have said repeatedly, if I had a vulnerable child I wouldn’t take them to a playground,
@OnlyFoolsnMothers can you not see anything wrong with saying that vulnerable/disabled children should stay away from an environment that would be safe enough if others followed the guidance.
Children with disabilities should not have to stay away so not to cause an inconvenience to others.

@Lipz

That sounds truly awful, I’m sorry and angry that happened to your dd and you.

can you not see anything wrong with saying that vulnerable/disabled children should stay away from an environment that would be safe enough if others followed the guidance.
Children with disabilities should not have to stay away so not to cause an inconvenience to others.

YES toThis.

It's all about balance though. Helicoptering my 3yo actually leads to less social distancing than if I just left him to it. It means 2 of us are close to the equipment.

Plenty of local children have been in bubbles at school too so no need to social distance in the park.

@Lipz clearly what happened to you is completely wrong. I would be watching my 3yo and move him away if he got anywhere near.

Children learn quickly and can be jaw droppingly resilient.

You should be gently educating your daughter in the social norms of the time and that it’s not currently appropriate to get close to or approach other children, especially children you don’t know.

Children with disabilities should not have to stay away so not to cause an inconvenience to others not what I said at all! THE TWISTING OF WORDS IS RIDICULOUS AND LIKE WITH ALL COVID CONVERSATIONS USED TO SHUT DOWN BASIC COMMON SENSE AND DEBATE. I said I wouldn’t risk it personally as I said a playground, regardless of the metre, has a lot of children in it and it wouldn’t be deemed clean enough surely.

I actually don't think getting children to avoid each other is helpful. So many kids are terrified of going near anyone now. That's not normal.

@Lipz. I'm sorry to hear of your experiences, it sounds like the parents are letting their children be hugely inconsiderate. I would never let my DS behave like that to another child, Covid or not. Your poor child, having to put up with that!

@AldiAisleofCrap. I think the problem is that you can't expect small children to follow the guidelines consistently. The parents should do their best, but beyond constantly reminding there's not a lot they can do. So there is always going to be a risk factor.

Tbh, if someone asked me specifically to keep my toddler away from their child because their child was vulnerable, I would prefer to leave and take my child somewhere else. Because I couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't come too close and the potential risk to the other child would worry me. I would rather leave to protect the vulnerable child.

We go to a quiet playground our reason for going is primarily for exercise.
I would be happy for my DD to play with/alongside another child but avoid physical contact. So far others in the playground have kept their distance.

We’ve avoided playgrounds as unable to contact / be contacted if there are any symptoms. We met up with a group of friends and kids for a walk at the weekend and didn’t bother making the kids distance as we can tell each other if they have symptoms which you can’t do with randoms in a park.

Kids are different, parents are different - my dd hated playing with other kids anyway but we avoided busy times. I know people very on edge still others are not worrying at all