Totally inappropriate - aibu to be shocked by this?

[Nonotthisagain]

Anyone else follow Totes Inappropes on Facebook? I've just read her latest post and I'm shocked. I thought she was all about women wearing what the hell they want but that post is nasty, snobbish, un-feminist and victim blaming. Her supporters claim we're 'reading it wrong'??

Not sure if I can post a link to a Facebook page on here but it's easily found

Can’t you just tell us?

If you want people to comment you have to do better than telling them to look on Facebook. Not everyone is on Facebook.

What’s riled you?

It's a very very long post to summarize but here's the link m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=2989933717785916&id=778509988928311

You can link to Facebook, or do you mean you aren't able to rather than not allowed to?

It would make discussion possible if you could.

@lifesalongsong

You can link to Facebook, or do you mean you aren't able to rather than not allowed to?

It would make discussion possible if you could.

I've posted the link above

[quote Nonotthisagain]It's a very very long post to summarize but here's the link m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=2989933717785916&id=778509988928311[/quote]
Cross posted with you, it is a long read, I didn't get every word but I'm not really sure what the point is. Do you have to know her a bit to the get where she's coming from?

I agree with her.

She’s not wrong about the influence of porn on the way men and increasingly younger boys look at women and girls.
The rest.....meh, she is who she is. Good at sparking debates. Needs to proofread her rants to avoid ‘wrappers’ instead of ‘rappers’

Couldn't be arsed to read that, far too long!!

I thought your title was going to be about some woman called Larsa Pippen who put a very inappropriate picture up of her 12 year old in a skimpy bikini.

Seen it earlier on the Daily Fail, shocking.

Never heard of her but that post makes her come across like a miserable, judgy, hypocritical twat. Although, I'll confess I didn't read the whole thing. I got bored of it.

It would have been funnier if she’d bothered to wear the sort of clothes she’s mocking for real, rather than a cartoon version, but she’s very scattergun in her approach and probably cba to take the time to do that.
Celeste Barber takes apart the unobtainable ideal of Perfect Woman much better.

I agree. There's not much logic in asserting your right to be seen as more than just sexy, by dressing as sexily as possible.

She needs to spell check and stop writing.

Gave up after 3 lines. But newsflash people on the internet are opinionated, thats how they get attention.

Totes Inappropes is a personal blog about

The life and times of a peri menopausal, marathon running mother of three little shits. Drinker of all the booze, owner of Trevor the Pug, proud snowflake

It doesn't mention the brand, but she describes clicking the ad link for a cheap, nasty and sleazy clothing chain (Boohoo? PLT?) and wonders at the cheap, nasty sleazy clothes, the overtly sexual imagery and wonders what happened to feminism.

She finishes with a photoshopped picture of her looking 'thicc'.

A white, middle aged British woman taking the piss out of the Kim Kardashian inspired tits and ass appearance.

As the title says, she Totes Inappropes.

It is victim blaming in parts. It’s very judgy in all of it but the last bit that says it’s clothing which might give unwanted attention and men think you are up for more doesn’t sit well with me! It’s clothing, it doesn’t signify if you are ‘up for anything’ or not

I don't know. I just looked her up on insta and she's posted about getting botox and fillers. I sort of feel if you're going to allow a patriarchal society to influence you into buying into the idea women shouldn't age then you can't really criticise younger women for allegedly dressing for the male gaze.

@TheTrollFairy

It is victim blaming in parts. It’s very judgy in all of it but the last bit that says it’s clothing which might give unwanted attention and men think you are up for more doesn’t sit well with me! It’s clothing, it doesn’t signify if you are ‘up for anything’ or not

That's the bit I found worst - it's not far off the 'asking for it' mentality. I re-read it a number of times as her supporters were saying to people criticising her that they'd read it wrong but I don't see how!

She’s not wrong though is she.

Yes, her post is totes inappropes. She’s not disappointed.
I do agree with her thoughts on fake things- eyelashes, lips, tits, nails. Its the ultimate unattainable beauty standard to have the beauty standard depend entirely on something artificial.

She is judgemental about her younger years being morally superior than young people today.

I suppose you could read it and find it offensive in parts. I kind of agree though. It’s the Love Island look bought to you by PrettyLittleThing and a thousand similar companies charging a fiver for a tiny bit of cloth. It’s the stuff the girls from Geordie Shore wears. Stripper outfits for a luncheon with friends. I don’t get it but I understand that many make a lot of money from it and others want to perpetuate the style.

Do I think anyone that goes out wearing very little deserves to be attacked? Nope. Do I understand her concern that young girls who go out dressed very provocatively night end up with unwanted attention that has the potential to be unpleasant given the wrong circumstances. Absolutely. Do I think that dressing demure saves you from unwanted attention? Nope. It’s a tricky one. But I understood her post.

YANBU. I don't know her so don't know how consistent it is with her usual values but it's deeply unpleasant in its assumptions and judgements.

And the way she justifies her own teenage dress sense while berating young women now is just bizarre. Comes across as snobbery in the extreme.

Yeah I usually like her but as someone who is naturally that shape it annoyed me.

Sorry posted too soon:

It’s a pragmatic statement not a judgemental one ; she is pointing out that society sees women’s clothing as being provocative/prudish etc, which it does.

And for avoidance of doubt : no women should not have to wear certain clothes to avoid being raped, a woman never “asks for it”.

On a personal level I absolutely hate the ‘sex doll/porn star’ look, it’s absolutely underpinned by sexism at best, misogyny at worst, no matter how much women try and tell themselves it isn’t.