To not use toddler reins?

[FourPlasticRings]

I went out for a walk with my DM and DD (just turned 2) at the weekend. The walk was mainly footpaths and country park paths, but started off with walking through our housing estate on pavements alongside roads (30mph). DM was very concerned that I didn't have DD on toddler reins in case she bolted in front of a car. DD and I always walk with DD on the inside of the pavement away from the road and I keep pace with her so I'm always alongside her, standing between her and the road. I watch her constantly. We hold hands to cross roads and if the pavement is particularly narrow. She's generally well behaved and there were no incidents on the outing, but DM is still nagging me about putting DD in reins. I'm not convinced they're necessary.

AIBU to let her walk alongside me without reins when we're alongside roads?

@ftm202020

My children have never used reigns, I teach them to hold my hand. Job done.

And you think that parents who use reins don't?

Has it occurred to you that not all children are like yours? Go and pat yourself on the back because you are such a superior and much better parent than those with bolting toddlers.

I’ve always used reins with mine - eldest is 14 and youngest is 6 - the latter it was the back back style of reins.

Pregnant again and will do the same again. My OH hates them but understands my reasoning. Though he will hold hands more than use the reins.

Why does he hate them?

Are all the reins haters on this thread exceptionally short?

@TheSmallAssassin why do you need reins then?
I’m pretty sure nobody sets out on a drive intending to crash their car. They still wear their seatbelt.

I had a two year old with a real death wish. "What's it like to die, Mummy?" he would shout running towards the road. "What's it like to die, Mummy?" He would shout running near the edge of a train platform.

I would have kept him on reins til school age if possible. He'd still pull towards roads but i had control. It's about knowing your child and being totally, totally aware - eyes in back of your head at all times.

When you've had a two year old like mine, you'd always consider reins.

None of them ended up under a bus

That's down to luck, not some sort of superior parenting.

Oh don’t be daft, of course child survival rates are often affected by the level of parenting. You can’t guard against all accidents and illnesses, but most of us give it a bloody good try.

I really really don’t understand parents judging other parents who just want to keep their children safe?! It’s bizarre. If you personally don’t want to use them then fine, but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with using them. OP included. Reins are not “a lead”, it does not make your child “like a dog” any more than feeding them milk makes them a cow.

I have the backpack ones for my 2 year old and use them from time to time, if we’re going to be near busy roads. It’s much nicer for both of us that he can walk with both hands free and I can relax. We often don’t bother and it’s much more stressful having to walk at exactly his pace and keep a constant watch. I’m pregnant and it’s getting harder to manhandle him when he tries to do something dangerous. When baby 2 arrives they’re going to be a permanent feature, and that will be SO much better for my son than being strapped into a buggy, stuck to my hand, or seriously injured/dead (obviously).

The "luck" was referencing children never bolting.