Left out of Will

[IseeIsee]

How would you feel if one sibling was left everything in the Will whilst all other siblings were left nothing?

This has come up in my family where my parents will leave everything to one only. The reason they have given is we have houses whilst he does not. He has a good job and deposit but chooses not to buy.

It is my parents money to do as they choose of course and if they spent it all on themselves I would think nothing of it. I am not really upset about the money but just think it is a little odd that they are singleing out one sibling only to benefit. AIBU

Sounds like he is the favourite.

It's a nasty thing to do, and will cause issues between the siblings.

Just to add, my parents are both gone now RIP but everything was divided equally amongst the three siblings, it was such an honour to be acknowledged equally, and we celebrate their lives as often as we can, just us three (no one else) in a Bonding Inheritance Session!.

Just waiting for Covid restrictions to ease to do another one, in their blessed memory.

Golden child by any chance?

I know full well that my sister will inherit from my mum and I'll be left out because I've got a DH and my sister hasn't

I can't change it, am past even really caring but I certainly won't be forgetting it when mum needs care and help.

I think the problem with leaving everything to one child, or dividing money unequally, is that situations change. I know of one family close to me who is children’s situations have basically reversed. So if the money had been left to the initially poor child, they would actually now be the richer. And the child that had been perceived as doing very well for themselves had some really bad luck and lost most of their wealth.

It’s odd and extremely unfair, they are showing massive favouritism to one child. I don’t know why parents do this.

Well its their money to do as they wish.

Same as its your time to do as you wish when they need help.Leave it to the golden child,

It only refers to the moveable estate as I said
So basically anything other than the house

It only refers to the moveable estate as I said
So basically anything other than the house

Completely wrong and shouldn't be allowed

That says an awful lot about them and I'm afraid I would be very disappointed in them as parents. I'd start to go LC if they can't see how very unfair and hurtful this is. Actions have consequences.

I don't do more for my parents. They are quite fit and not all that bothered with any of us.

Thank you for the replies. I feel a bit more normal now and not horribly selfish.

My DB will definitely take everything without hesitation. He has been told it is his and he is not buying because he doesn't need to.

I don't need anything from them nor do my siblings, some of us are just a bit upset.

user1487194234 It will still be worth bearing in mind, thanks!

Your parents will hopefully be around for many more years. Who knows what the situation will be in the future. Your brother could be relying on getting the house only for it to go on care home fees.

IseeIsee

Sorry about the situation. Doesn't matter what way you try to justify it in your head, it is still a kick in the teeth.

Your parents should know better, but you know the dynamic more than I do. Best wishes anyway.

*OP, I genuinely think it’s a horrible thing to do to offspring, and so, so hurtful. Maybe they will change their minds?

It feels really shit OP, and knowing your parents value one of you more is something I took a long time to come to terms with.

But you can't change or fight it. Finding peace with it is far better for your mental health

I would be hurt, and feel that I was being punished for being sensible, while he is rewarded for choosing a different route.

@msbevvy

Your parents will hopefully be around for many more years. Who knows what the situation will be in the future. Your brother could be relying on getting the house only for it to go on care home fees.

One can hope.

@MrsTerryPratchett

Do they want to leave behind resentment and ill feeling? Because they will. I cannot fathom this kind of nonsense. Barring life-threatening addictions or something, I wouldn't do this.

My MIL would like to leave out one of DH's brothers because he's an arse and has made no effort with her at all but she knows it would divide the family so she's left it in equal shares... albeit through gritted teeth.

Been there, done that when one of my parents died. It's sorted now but it caused a huge rift that has never been healed and never will.

Golden balls can look after them when they get older and become infirm.

Well it's hurtful because your parents are treating you and your siblings differently, which always hurts. In this situation it should be split equally.

My MIL would like to leave out one of DH's brothers because he's an arse and has made no effort with her at all but she knows it would divide the family so she's left it in equal shares... albeit through gritted teeth.

Good for her. Awful as it is, you want to leave good feeling behind.

My dad is leaving some money to one dreadful cousin so that he can leave some to the nice ones. I think it's the best option but still don't like it

I would not be happy to be left out and get nothing.
I think it should be divided, more or less equally, without penalising you for being prudent.

I would make clear that this is a decision which will create a permanent schism in the family and would ask them if that is what they want their legacy to be.