Grown men who can't drive

[madcatladyforever]

AIBU or what! Just had a row with my DS who is not talking to me because he can't drive at 40 years old. There is no good reason why not, he's done all the lessons just can't be bothered to take the test.
His wife ferries him about everywhere despite the fact she's in very poor health and shouldn't even be on the road in my opinion.
He wanted me to collect him for the weekend a 7 hour round trip and I said no, I have slipped discs and I'm on tramadol, I can't drive for 7 hours.
I don't see why we should be unpaid chauffeurs all the time and I'm not doing it any more.
Not being able to drive completely limits their lives, they can't live in a rural area which they want to do, he can only take a job there is public transport too and he can't drive to any big store out of town and pick up furniture or tools or whatever.
It is driving me mad and I said to his wife, stop ferrying him about, he needs to get his license. What happens if you have to go into hospital - who is going to drive you there and back.
Now he is furious with me for "interfering" but if your mother can't say it who can.
I get the test is scary but if we never did anything because we were nervous we'd never achieve anything in our lives.

@DeeTractor I don't. I'm simply defending myself from unwarranted attacks for me saying something that is basic common sense!

Am a bit baffled by the "I didn't date people who couldn't drive without good reasons" people. How would you know if they had a 'good reason' or not? When I was single I didn't go around with a sign around my neck going "can't drive but here's my medical reasons for it! please don't judge me o mighty driving one!"

If it's raining I get an Uber.

Another one who lives in a big city. Plenty of smaller cities, towns etc aren't covered by Uber you know!

With the rise in electric cars the environmental reason won't be as big a factor.

Yes Uber does not exist here, or buses after 9pm, taxis do but because they have a monopoly really they're expensive. When I lived in London though I really enjoyed not having my car and being able to get public transport.

How weird that a driving school promotes driving

So what - all the points are true and valid - why does it matter who is saying them?

abandoned in a remote location
With a spare car that can be used, handy!

Our buses stop at 6, not great for a night out! Definitely no Uber here

If he doesn't want to drive, that is up to him but he cannot expect others to chauffeur him around.

YANBU for refusing to drive him somewhere but YABU for telling his wife not to drive him. That is interfering. That is between them

I don't know what country this list is from, and it's not a driving school page, but even they mention kidnapping on point #3. Guess I'm not so weird now, huh? listovative.com/top-10-reasons-why-you-must-learn-driving/

but even they mention kidnapping on point #3. Guess I'm not so weird now, huh?

If 'potential kidnapping' is on any of your list of reasons why everyone should learn to drive, you are indeed fairly weird.

t's commonly quoted that you only live once, and with that mindset; why not make the most of it?

You can make the most of your life without driving.

Whether you're young and living with parents, in university and sharing with friends, or older and living on your own - the independence that comes with owning your own car is rarely rivalled.

Ermm no. Like I said I moved countries at 23, away from family,friends and all I knew. Now, that is independent.

therefore compared to having to rely on public transport or private taxi's to commute - you are actually in full control of the costs, which depending on how much you travel - can actually save you a lot of money over a year!

You can control it without a car too. And if you don't use it that much, you don't actually save , you wasted money.

This is the biggest bullshit

Studying your theory, and undertaking & passing your driving tests give you personal development skills all in itself. By opting to begin the journey of getting your driving licence and progressing through the personal development plan a good driving instructor can provide you with will undoubtedly give you the skills to learn, develop and progress in which you can apply to other areas of your life.

Nevermind life experiences, tests, going to uni, exams etc! The main one is taking your driving licence. And I'll sound like a dick here, but a lot of the people that rely on driving as their main source of income aren't exactly high achievers.

Convenience? In a lot of cases I'll definitely give them that, but not always.

It’s not unique to men - but I have to be honest and say that a I find something rather unattractive about a man who can’t drive. Yes it may sound sexist but it’s how I feel.

@Kazzyhoward I do not live in a city. It's not even a town. It's a suburb of a town.

Learning how to navigate travelling via public transport teaches you all kinds of skills (how to figure out the cheapest tickets, how to write up a schedule for a journey involving multiple interchanges, how to read maps and transpose data across different maps) and unquestionably gives you huge confidence and independence, as well as self-reliance and resourcefulness. Cars don’t really give you that.

I travelled across Italy using public transport. I’m willing to bet that took more skills, confidence and independence than tootling to Tesco in your Ford Focus.

Getting a job is also a very important reason too. www.clickliverpool.com/features/25733-the-top-reasons-why-you-should-learn-to-drive/

Husband has eye condition so never learned.

I don't know what country this list is from, and it's not a driving school page, but even they mention kidnapping on point #3. Guess I'm not so weird now, huh?

It’s from India.

Getting a job is also a very important reason too.

A 'job' you say? What is one of those?

@GoldenOmber If choosing not to risk it with Ubers and taxis makes me weird, so be it. And I'd rather drive than hitch-hike.

But I think this is all sort of 'pearls before swine' type of thing, so I give up on here.

@GoldenOmber A 'job' you say? What is one of those?

Are you serious?

Getting a job is also a very important reason too.

I’m not being a snob, but I didn’t go to university for nine years to be a delivery driver.

My life choices have given me a wide range of career options. I don’t feel that not being able to pursue driving jobs hinders that.

Massively reasonable not to want to provide a taxi service. Massively unreasonable to expect everyone to drive.

Are you serious?

No, I am taking the piss. Most non-driving adults have jobs already, fyi.

I don't know why total strangers not driving bothers you so much? We get around fine. The OP's son is a lazy entitled arse, but I suspect he'd be a lazy entitled arse if he did have a license too.

@blurpityblurp Clearly you've never heard of driving to meetings, functions etc. Fancy thinking you only need a licence to be a delivery driver! (facepalm)