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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think most women keep hair long to be attractive to the opposite sex?

999 replies

Ilovegreentomatoes · 19/07/2020 22:33

It's always been said men prefer long hair it looks more feminine etc.
I know many women hate having their hair short and are devastated if their hairdresser cuts of more than an inch.What is the obsession with long hair? I have fine hair and cut it short because long hair looks crap on me but I'm definitely in the minority. Even women who look better with short hair because of their hair texture insist on keeping it long. Do you think that's because we are subconsciously taught mainly by men that long hair is more attractive. Plus all teen girls have that uniform ultra long hair there is no diversity. And no I'm not jealous because I have short hair!(well very short bob to be fair.)

OP posts:
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24
DisobedientHamster · 19/07/2020 23:25

I look like shit with short hair. I hate going to hair dressers or having my hair cut by even mobile hairdresser. HATE it. I keep my hair long for me. Short hair is high maintenance and expensive.

There's no obsession among people with how they bloody choose to wear their hair. My teen DD has long straight hair, she likes it like that. She doesn't shave her body hair, she likes it like that.

Why on Earth do you waste time assuming things about a bunch of randoms who are nothing to do with you, seriously?

What a daft thing to waste time making assumptions about.

Giraffey1 · 19/07/2020 23:26

Nope. I keep my hair to whatever length I want because i want it that way.

AWryGiraffe · 19/07/2020 23:26

Mine is about shoulder blade lengths. I chopped about 4 inches off about a month ago and now I never have to bother with my twice yearly haircut! I'm just lazy - I like that I can have it down, it has a bit of a wave so forgiving of my home scissor technique, and can shove it up when I'm just looking after my toddler and don't want it yanked on. Also short hair makes me look all cheeks, doesn't suit me at all. Also it feels like a bit of a safety blanket to me. I also look forward to being grey and having the longest hair I can get away with.

wildone84 · 19/07/2020 23:26

I like my long hair. It makes me feel feminine.

Destroyedpeople · 19/07/2020 23:26

Yes it's kind of true. I know somebody who is my age (post menopause) who is convinced that her long hair trailing down au naturel still looks lovely....in fact it's starting to look a bit witchy. Her daughter made her get a good six inches cut off but still ...
There is a reason why older women get a shorter 'do or put it up...

Alsohuman · 19/07/2020 23:27

Mine’s been every length from being able to sit on it to 1”. It’s never occurred to me to even think of what men like or don’t. Quite honestly I don’t give a shit. My bloke is more interested in what’s between my ears than over them.

Original poster
Ilovegreentomatoes · 19/07/2020 23:28

@DisobedientHamster just a general curious question on a boring sunday evening. And why did you invest the time to reply you were obviously interested enough to read the thread !.

OP posts:
eaglejulesk · 19/07/2020 23:28

I do think feeling attractive is definitely part of it. I have thick hair and it’s great to be able to have a good head of hair, as I age it really helps me to feel a bit younger.

Can one not feel attractive with short hair? Personally I think long hair ages people once they get older. I get people continually thinking I am up to 10 years younger than I am, and I have short hair.

Pinkchocolate · 19/07/2020 23:29

I totally disagree with this. My hair is long because it suits me, not because I think I look more attractive to men, my husband of twenty years has never told me his preference because I’ve never asked. Incidentally, my friend who has short hair gets more attention from men than most so not all men prefer long hair.

eaglejulesk · 19/07/2020 23:30

Short hair is high maintenance and expensive.

Really? I spend much less on having my short hair cut than my friends who have theirs dyed do.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 19/07/2020 23:31

I’ve always had long hair. I don’t think I could get away with short hair, I think my nose is a bit too pointy. It just wouldn’t look right. I honestly think I’d look like a bloke. Also I blush a lot a long hair can hide it, or at least help me feel like I am hiding it.

ErrolTheDragon · 19/07/2020 23:31

My hair is long because I CBA to go to the hairdressers more than twice a year. I get it cut shoulder length and it grows straight down until I decide there's too much of it.

IsItGinOclock1 · 19/07/2020 23:32

I've had short hair in the past, everyone agrees I look better with long hair, I do. It's also much easier and cheaper to keep long hair, I was forever in the hairdressers to keep it styled and tidy when it was short, there's no scooping it back into a bobble!

Nothing to do with men, it just suits me better, it's cheaper and I like it.

Original poster
Ilovegreentomatoes · 19/07/2020 23:32

My bob is a wash and go style so no styling needed.My longer hair took a lot longer to wash/blowdry.

OP posts:
Leflic · 19/07/2020 23:32

It’s the fashion.

Same as big hair in the 80’s, pixie cuts in the 90’s, Jennifer hair whenever that was and now long.
It was all about items and curls, then poker straight hair and now it’s loose curls.

Don’t panic. Short will be back.

Rachie1973 · 19/07/2020 23:33

My mum cut mine once when I was a child, probably about 8. She made such a hash of it that I ended up with a short back and sides.

I’ve never had short hair since. I hated it on me then and I don’t fancy it much now.

MostTacticalNameChange · 19/07/2020 23:33

Absolutely YANBU.

My XH told me I was ugly with my hair up, me XP told me he would leave me if I cut my hair shorter than shoulder length.

I have beautiful, long hair but it costs time, discomfort and money.

I'm not actively after a man but I know I will be treated a looooot differently by almost everyone if I have the shaved head I crave!!

Peer pressure innit.

I regret daily having a feminist awakening!

But something seen cannot be unseen. Unfortunately.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 19/07/2020 23:33

@eaglejulesk

Short hair is high maintenance and expensive.

Really? I spend much less on having my short hair cut than my friends who have theirs dyed do.

I had a pixie cut when I was 18 and had to get it cut every three weeks. Drove me mad.
longtompot · 19/07/2020 23:33

I have longish hair because I like being able to tie it up. If it were short it would actually get in the way much more.
I don't have long hair because of a man, even though my dh loves my hair long.

Roundtoedshoes · 19/07/2020 23:33

I have long hair as I love the look. I admire other women’s long hair, and if another woman compliments mine, I appreciate it. So although I keep it long for me, I am not against it being admired.

Do men notice all that much? Certainly a drastic cut, but I’m sure I could cut a good few inches off and DH might not notice. I’ve not cut it in a long time though, and have no intention of doing so.

I admit I’m not a fan of short hair in general on women (controversial!) I sometimes think it looks too ‘done’ (and as others have pointed out, long hair can actually be much easier to maintain), but to each their own. I’m hoping to grow old disgracefully and have hair I can sit on when I am aged!

ErrolTheDragon · 19/07/2020 23:34

I spend much less on having my short hair cut than my friends who have theirs dyed do.

No dye on mine (naturally fair, sun does all the highlighting I want) so I bet my two dry trims a year cost less than yours.Grin

Ponoka7 · 19/07/2020 23:34

@rosiejaune, religion and racism played more of a part in mens styling than sexism did. Roman men wanted to be clean shaven to differentiate between them and those from the Arab world. Part of other races, being seen as dirty was that their men had beards and long hair. They removed body hair as well.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 19/07/2020 23:34

As a previous poster pointed out, it's the men that get their hair chopped more often because they feel they have to for shorter hair to look good - the in between style is not a good look for anyone IMHO.

Mumof2bears · 19/07/2020 23:35

As a kid I had shoulder length hair for a year, and looking back at photos of me then, my hair just looked boring and bleurgh - kinked over my ears and then down to my shoulders. Longer, it holds its natural wave and isn't too thick or thin so behaves itself during the day. Plus I then have the choice of tying it up or wearing it loose. My husband does point out the fluffy bits on top, but I point out that it would only lose the fluffy bits if it was less than two inches long and I would then look rather boyish! A good friend used to have just below shoulder length hair and then got it cut into an urchin crop which does suit her despite her husband saying he preferred her hair longer 😁.

ItsAlwaysSunnyOnMN · 19/07/2020 23:35

I would never have short hair as I hide behind my hair (not completely) and I play with it when I am nervous

Also have used my hair to get attention or be seductive so yes have certainly used my long hair