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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think most women keep hair long to be attractive to the opposite sex?

999 replies

Ilovegreentomatoes · 19/07/2020 22:33

It's always been said men prefer long hair it looks more feminine etc.
I know many women hate having their hair short and are devastated if their hairdresser cuts of more than an inch.What is the obsession with long hair? I have fine hair and cut it short because long hair looks crap on me but I'm definitely in the minority. Even women who look better with short hair because of their hair texture insist on keeping it long. Do you think that's because we are subconsciously taught mainly by men that long hair is more attractive. Plus all teen girls have that uniform ultra long hair there is no diversity. And no I'm not jealous because I have short hair!(well very short bob to be fair.)

OP posts:
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24
verypeckish · 19/07/2020 23:36

I keep my hair long so I can tie it up out of the way. I can't stand a fringe or other hair touching my face at all. Don't even like to feel it on the back of my neck.

It's got nothing to do with wanting to be attractive to the opposite sex. I couldn't give a shit what my hair looks like. Every now and again, I cut a slice off the bottom.

When I was younger and wore it long, blokes used to fiddle with it and stroke it, and it used to really annoy me when they did that.

wildone84 · 19/07/2020 23:36

@MostTacticalNameChange

Absolutely YANBU.

My XH told me I was ugly with my hair up, me XP told me he would leave me if I cut my hair shorter than shoulder length.

I have beautiful, long hair but it costs time, discomfort and money.

I'm not actively after a man but I know I will be treated a looooot differently by almost everyone if I have the shaved head I crave!!

Peer pressure innit.

I regret daily having a feminist awakening!

But something seen cannot be unseen. Unfortunately.

Leaving someone because they change their hair? What a twat your XP was.
Bubblebu · 19/07/2020 23:37

my hair is short because it all dropped out as part of my breast cancer chemo and is just starting to grow back a bit now

i was much more upset than i thought i would be when it fell out. i got a wig but it is definitely no way as good as the real thing.

I remember when I turned about 35 yrs old my ex MIL started lecturing me that i was far too old for long hair and i should serious consider getting it cut much shorter. (I didnt, which i think annoyed her more than she let on - and she did let onto me her opinion).

i think times have changed now and keeping your hair long as you grow older is much more acceptable than it used to be a few decades ago

Doodar · 19/07/2020 23:37

Long hair on anyone over 40 looks awful. Shoulder length at most. Also women who still hang onto extra long hair look ridiculous.

workhomesleeprepeat · 19/07/2020 23:38

I keep my hair long because I am fundamentally lazy. I cut it about once a year. I wear it up, down, in buns, whatever. Men and women love my long hair!

However only women liked my head shaving phase. I shaved my head for a time in my twenties because I got sick of my long hair. But you know what, you have to shave you head about once every couple of weeks to keep it close. And that was faaaar too much upkeep for me Grin

Original poster
Ilovegreentomatoes · 19/07/2020 23:41

@Doodar I know its controversial but I agree with you.Sadly most women after 40 dont have the healthy looking hair they think they had when they were 20.

OP posts:
gypsywater · 19/07/2020 23:41

I had short hair as a teen and was bullied soooooo much by boys/men for it. Have never had it short since. Couldnt go through it again.

ZaraCarmichaelshighheels · 19/07/2020 23:41

@Ilovegreentomatoes

If you have ultra fine hair I find in nearly all cases shorter styles look better.
Rubbish, it’s not just the texture of your hair that determines the style or length, it’s bone structure, shape and size of your head, your height and figure even, and you know personal preference....
LemonadeAndDaisyChains · 19/07/2020 23:42

What a load of rubbish, I have long hair because I like having long hair.
Couldn't give a toss what anyone else thinks of it.

Hamm87 · 19/07/2020 23:43

I like my hair short but can't afford to keep getting it cut so once a year I get it all hacked off as I can still tie it up just about but its 300 a year if I want to keep it short and sorry but it has nothing to do with the opposite sex liking it

QueenOfPain · 19/07/2020 23:43

My hair is curly, it’s down to my bum and has been for the past few years, the shorter it gets, the more hard work it is. When it’s super long it’s actually much easier to manage as there’s enough weight in it to leave it to air dry after washing and it still looks reasonable. If I had it ultra short it’d would introduce so much hassle of blow drying and straightening into my life. I’m happy with my hair, don’t really give a shit what men think. The majority of the time it’s clipped in a tight bun on top of my head like Ms Trunchbull like in Matilda.

MrsKoala · 19/07/2020 23:43

You seem to be basing your opinion on hair style choice solely on the type of hair you have - ie fine hair looks better short. But what about body shape and facial features? Surely that’s more what people think about? I am very tall and have broad angular shoulders and a flat chest, I find longer hair softens and distracts from that. I’ve always wanted a pixie crop but I’d look/feel so manly with one, even tho it probably would suit my hair type.

LemonadeAndDaisyChains · 19/07/2020 23:44

Long hair on anyone over 40 looks awful

Lucky I don't give a shit what anyone thinks about it then, isn't it Grin

MrsAvocet · 19/07/2020 23:45

My DH does like my hair long and makes no secret of that fact. It probably does influence my choices to some degree, but a far, far bigger factor is that I hate going to the hairdressers. I have very thick hair that grows extremely fast. When I have had short styles they have ended up looking messy very quickly, and I have neither the time nor inclination to visit a hair salon every few weeks. With long hair you can get away with going very infrequently. Over the years I have had every length hair from extremely short, almost shaved, to down to my bottom and I find long hair much lower maintenance than short. Admittedly mine is a bit too long at present as I've not had it cut since mid December and I have nearly garrotted myself a few times in bed recently Confused. Once all the people who really need haircuts are sorted out I will probably get a few inches cut off to make it more manageable.

Ariela · 19/07/2020 23:45

Mine's shoulder length or longer because I CBA to go to a hairdresser and at that length a DIY cut is a lot easier.

NameChange84 · 19/07/2020 23:45

Long hair on anyone over 40 looks awful. Shoulder length at most.

LMAO

Someone quick, tell JLO and Nicole Scherzinger how AWFUL they look and to hurry up and get a bob Grin.

eaglejulesk · 19/07/2020 23:45

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras - mine isn't a pixie cut, but it is short. I get it cut around every three months - and I actually love having my hair cut!

2Kidsinatrenchcoat · 19/07/2020 23:46

Shaving your head is very liberating! I’ve done it a few times and it’s great because men who react badly to it are the kind of men who I don’t want to be involved with, so I can weed them out without having to waste time getting to know them first!

The most recent time I shaved my head I was about a year into my current relationship and he loved it. I’m growing it out now but I’m not sure how long it will last before I get sick of it again.

Destroyedpeople · 19/07/2020 23:47

No the lush tumbling locks of the 'beck' look are for the young. I don't like to tell my acquintance that as she is pushing 60 it's really not a good look. She is also always saying to me things like ....

'you see because I have really OILY skin I look MUCH YOUNGER than YOU do'...

I just sit there and say...ummm. ..ok then...

FortniteBoysMum · 19/07/2020 23:47

I prefer my hair long because I can do more with it.

Megan2018 · 19/07/2020 23:47

I’m 42 with amazing long hair. Anyone that thinks I should cut it just because of a number can fuck off with their ageist bullshit. That’s far worse than trying to please a man.

I’ve just had my first child too, 40 is no age, I’m just getting started!!

IwishIhadaMargarita · 19/07/2020 23:48

@Ilovegreentomatoes

My bob is a wash and go style so no styling needed.My longer hair took a lot longer to wash/blowdry.
My hair is long and washed every day then just brushed and left to dry (I leave the house with it damp) it is naturally poker straight and I spend virtually no time at all on it.
RiftGibbon · 19/07/2020 23:48

My hair doesn't do styles and grows quite fast. I'm too lazy and broke to keep visiting the hairdresser so I leave it long. Couldn't care less what anyone else thinks about it.

NorthernSpirit · 19/07/2020 23:48

Who cares what men prefer? It’s what YOU prefer!

Long hair on older women isn’t attractive IMO. Fine on young girls. Beautiful really don’t understand this desire to have long hair.

I’ve had long hair myself and it’s a pain n the neck. I wore it in a ponytail most of the time. What’s the point?! I don’t want understand why those with long hair wear it up all the time??!!

Get yourself a sharp cut and look stylish!

It’s far sexier having a stylist short cut.

Destroyedpeople · 19/07/2020 23:49

If your hair still looks good go for it . It's your hair.
Mine has always been thin and wispy anyway.