To think most women keep hair long to be attractive to the opposite sex?

[Ilovegreentomatoes]

It's always been said men prefer long hair it looks more feminine etc.
I know many women hate having their hair short and are devastated if their hairdresser cuts of more than an inch.What is the obsession with long hair? I have fine hair and cut it short because long hair looks crap on me but I'm definitely in the minority. Even women who look better with short hair because of their hair texture insist on keeping it long. Do you think that's because we are subconsciously taught mainly by men that long hair is more attractive. Plus all teen girls have that uniform ultra long hair there is no diversity. And no I'm not jealous because I have short hair!(well very short bob to be fair.)

@PurpleFlower1983

Most women look better with long hair IMO.

Well I look bloody dreadful with long hair (super fine and thin) Short for 40 years and SO looking forward to the hairdressers on Weds

I’ve had my hair long and short. Tbh it looks nicer short, dh agrees. But I am most comfortable with it tied back, which I can’t do if it’s short. So I keep it long enough to tie back easily.

Exactly how long depends on how long it’s been since my last haircut, which since I hate hairdressers can be quite a long time...

I have friends with long hair who are lesbian. I don’t think that is to be attractive to the opposite gender.

@Loveinatimeofcovid I really don't agree that a clipper with a long guard is the same as just razoring your hair off. I use a clipper to cut mine - this is the last time I cut it (about a month ago)

I think that just looks like a standard short hair cut, but maybe my hair-length sensors have gone wonky.

RufustheRowlingReindeer - I will accept that the amount of effort required with short hair depends on the type of hair, but still think that for the majority who have hair capable of growing to sufficient length (people with baby fine hair cannot always do this), tying long hair out of the way and getting it cut 2-3 times a year is much less effort than constantly getting the clippers out, going to the hairdresser, and/or trying to deal with short hair you have “slept on the wrong way.” I tried short hair once, thinking it would be easier to deal with when I went swimming every day, and boy was that a massive mistake! Even worse, to grow it long again I had to tolerate months of it growing outwards and upwards (it’s very thick and wavy/curly) not down, and being too short to tie out of the way and keep the volume of it under control. Never again!

I hate hair dressers. I went through 16 years of being dragged to the hair dresser, made to have a fringe, was “allowed” to keep it long, but only a certain length.

I won’t go to one unless I really have to. I’ll keep my long hair thanks!

I’ve had short hair twice in my life and hated it.

I like having long hair.
Don’t really give a shit what anyone else thinks.

Your thread title is literally

AIBU to think most women keep their hair long to be attractive to the opposite Do you think that's because we are subconsciously taught mainly by men that long hair is more attractive.

Now you're throwing your toys out of the pram because women have explained to you that is not the case and their various reasons for having it long.

There's also an undercurrent of "judgy" about what suits other women or not and trying to find reasons as to why they're doing it "wrong".

Add in the.. "aren't I special,I know what I like and what I'm doing and suits me, so much smarter than all the other conforming women" vibe and tbh you never wanted to talk about the whole patriarchy, unconscious messages we get as we grow up etc. just a lot of agreeing and a pat on the back.

@Ilovegreentomatoes

But rather than take personal offence discuss the issue at hand.

What's the issue? Different people like different hairstyles?

When I was in my late 20s/early 30s I always hankered after a sleek bob. I would leave the hair salon feeling like a million dollars but could never manage it at home. I'd wash and blow dry it and wake up with it all over the place. But now in my 50s, straighteners have been invented, I have a superb stylist and post menopause my hair is straighter anyway - so I can manage a bob just fine. Once a week wash and blow dry and every other day just needs a comb.

The whole point of this thread was to discuss if this is an ingrained belief as women not to accuse randoms on the internet if they keep their hair long for men. I wish I had posted it on another board as AIBU isn't the right place for a good debate and mature discussion. Lesson learnt.

it’s very thick and wavy/curly

See mine isn’t...mine is very straight and fine

But i know for others that short hair would be an absolute pain in the arse

Whereas for me it is a piece of piss

I wake up takes less than 5 minutes to wash, dry and style (assuming i need to wash obviously

Then i don’t touch it again, i wear the same style to work, to see friends and go out in the Evening

If it wasnt really easy and quick For me...then i wouldnt do it😀

Its the Categoric long hair is easy and short hair is hard or short hair is easy and long hair is hard i ‘object’ to 😀

And i know i said i would bow out...epic fail

I think it’s nice to make yourself look attractive to your partner. Why the hell not. I like getting compliments off my dh about how I look. He also makes an effort to look good, not just for himself, for me too. People saying they don’t care what their partner thinks are a bit odd.

I think our society says that long hair is for women and short hair is for men

I like long hair better on everyone, including men. I don’t like short hair at all really. Anything longer than from a little above shoulders looks better generally. Make an exception for Mohawks though.
Nothing to do with how attractive men find me. I do however find men with long hair more attractive

@CaptainMyCaptain

having long hair is a lot of work, so it is only indulged by those who care most about their appearance Absolutely NOT true. I wash mine, towel dry, comb, scrunch it with my fingers and let it dry naturally. Job done. I only wash it every 4 or 5 days, on non wash days it gets a quick comb while damp from the shower.

It's not influenced by fashion either, I'm old enough to have been through all the fashions and don't care. I have my own style and I'm sticking to it.

How long does it take to dry though? Most people won't go to bed or out with wet hair.

My short hair takes about 30 seconds to dry and equally as long to style. Just saying not everyone is the same, and what one person isn't bothered by, another would find a total chore.

Nope, long because I like it and don't want to look like a man, which is what seems to happen to most women over a certain age, they suddenly think they have to go short and end up looking like a bloke!

People saying they don’t care what their partner thinks are a bit odd

Are they? Why’s that?

Yep definitely!! I have long hair and I've had it for 10 years and really want a nice cute bob but my husband only likes long hair and makes cringes when I say I want to cut it.. he really doesnt want me to and sometimes I feel like I'm just hair to him lol! Obviously we all have a preference but really if you love your partner a bit of hair shouldn't make a difference.. but its put me off cutting it.

But actually, trying to look attractive to a mate is hard wired into almost all species with visual receptors.

I guess someone stole my visual receptors

@RufustheRowlingReindeer it's such a personal issue isn't it?

I rarely go to the hairdressers ( I've gone years without a haircut) so once every four weeks would bug me.

On the other hand , you like your cut and style, find it easy and non fussy so it's all worth it, and probably not that much of a hardship anyways.

I guess the main thing is realising and accepting (not talking about you)what another woman chooses to do with her body/hair isn't a reflection or judgement on you (general you) and your choices.

Someone else doing something to their hair for whatever reason doesn't make you better or less than them.

I have my hair long because it's been like that as long as I can remember and it's part of my identity. Day to day I wear it clipped up anyway so you can't tell how long it is. And a guest yesterday told me it look nice and "classic" like that

My mum had long hair when she met my dad and it was actually him who encouraged her to get it cut shorter.

Mine is also thick and curly so looks very OAP if it's short also have double chin which is an unfortunate family trait so even if slightly overweight it all goes to my chin ! So I feel more comfortable with some hair covering that area ! My husband actually particularly liked short hair on women so it certainly isn't to please him !

Mine is also thick and curly so looks very OAP if it's short also have double chin which is an unfortunate family trait so even if slightly overweight it all goes to my chin ! So I feel more comfortable with some hair covering that area ! My husband actually particularly liked short hair on women so it certainly isn't to please him !