To think most women keep hair long to be attractive to the opposite sex?

[Ilovegreentomatoes]

It's always been said men prefer long hair it looks more feminine etc.
I know many women hate having their hair short and are devastated if their hairdresser cuts of more than an inch.What is the obsession with long hair? I have fine hair and cut it short because long hair looks crap on me but I'm definitely in the minority. Even women who look better with short hair because of their hair texture insist on keeping it long. Do you think that's because we are subconsciously taught mainly by men that long hair is more attractive. Plus all teen girls have that uniform ultra long hair there is no diversity. And no I'm not jealous because I have short hair!(well very short bob to be fair.)

NRFT but seems to be a lot if women hotly denying they care about looking attractive to men!
Well, as a hetero woman I do actually care about that (or did, not so much nowadays). There's nothing wrong with wanting to attract the sex you're attracted to! Men do usually prefer long hair. I prefer mine short and sassy, even if I look less pretty.

Gosh I’ve always had long hair since childhood. I think the shortest it’s ever been is an inch or two below shoulders my hair is currently hovering around my waist and that is about perfect for me. I’ve had it long enough to sit on this past and that IS a pain as it constantly gets trapped in everything from car doors to loo seats which is just gross.

I don’t keep my hair long for DH or indeed the attention of any man. I keep it because I like it and I enjoy the variety of different things I can do with it when it’s longer. Despite its long length and I would say my hair is pretty thick it doesn’t take long to dry it, can given myself a decent smooth blow dry in less than 15 mins. As for washing x2 a week is best for me, any more frequently gives me a flakey scalp. The only downside of this length for me is sometimes tying it up in a ponytail or a bun it’s heavy and by the end of the day I find I can’t wait to let my hair down and find the relief similar to taking off my bra

Totally agree with you OP. I think it is so ingrained though that people genuinely think it is their choice because they 'like it' or 'it suits them better'. If they happened to live in a society where shorter hair was deemed attractive, I very much doubt they would all sport long hair.

I've had all the lengths. Fringes, perms, short long highlighted and dyed.
My husband prefers me with long hair. But I don't take much notice of it. As long as it's tidy I don't care.
I'm rubbish at styling and so when I have short hair I get bored of it quickly. I'm lazy. I got my long hair cut off 10 months ago to rid myself of what was left of my dye to grow the grey through. It looked nice for an hour then terrible. My hair is thick and wavy. I am very overweight with a round face.
It's now a chin length bob and I aim to grow it long. I am in my early 40s and and I don't care if some people think long hair on middle-aged women is wrong. It's an outdated ageist idea.

I love my long hair, I'm 46 but it's in amazing condition, thick and shiny. I don't have it long because I'm too 'lazy', I have it long because it looks lovely and makes me feel good. I'm not above saying that.

My hair is v low maintenance, I rarely go to the hairdressers but that's just a bonus, not the reason. I get loads of compliments from women telling me how much they love my hair!

And I know its against MN rules, but I also want my DH to fancy me and he loves my long hair too, another bonus, but not the 'reason'.

Hahaha at short hair being expensive. I have one word for that.

Clippers.

Why not a razor then?

having long hair is a lot of work, so it is only indulged by those who care most about their appearance
Absolutely NOT true. I wash mine, towel dry, comb, scrunch it with my fingers and let it dry naturally. Job done. I only wash it every 4 or 5 days, on non wash days it gets a quick comb while damp from the shower.

It's not influenced by fashion either, I'm old enough to have been through all the fashions and don't care. I have my own style and I'm sticking to it.

I've had long hair since I was mid 20s. I was much more interested in attracting a man then and spent much more time on my shorter hair than any long hairstyle I've had.
I love having long hair. My hair is fine but there's a lot of it.
I don't cut it short because I don't want to. Whether you, my DH or the man on the street like my hair isn't really relevant. I like being able to tie it back. I like only needing a haircut once a year. I like pretending its a moustache with DD. I like when I go swimming and it floats all around me. I love when its windy and it blows everywhere. But I spend most of the time with it up tbh. Because its easy. I don't have to blow dry it or style it much.
I'm not really one for fashions. I wear what I wear because I'm comfortable. If I was after my DHs or any man's approval I wouldn't be in holey jeans and not have shaved my legs this year.
Downsides of long hair- clogged drains, more spent on shampoo and conditioner, getting in ice cream on a windy day at the beach.

As usual it always gets of topic and a chorous of posters come up with the how dare you think I keep my hair long for a man or your just jealous and misinterpret the whole thread.AIBU was probably not the best board to post this in.

Living in the society we live in I’d have to be very stupid indeed to think I make choices in a vacuum, devoid of any influence from societal norms.

I freely admit that I do not have short hair because I fear looking manly. I have what could perhaps be described as ‘strong’ facial features and I want to look more feminine. There is significant social disapproval of masculine looking women.

@Ilovegreentomatoes

As usual it always gets of topic and a chorous of posters come up with the how dare you think I keep my hair long for a man or your just jealous and misinterpret the whole thread.AIBU was probably not the best board to post this in.

I agree with you on all counts.

AIBU is also the award-winning home of the "whataboutter" poster. Who if uncomfortable with a point of view, finds anything (sex, previous posts, spelling, grammar) with which to beat that poster with instead of replying to their argument.

Even if a woman chooses to have long hair because she feels it makes her prettier, I highly doubt that all she cares about is what random men would think.

Well, quite.

And I have to say, what is WRONG with wanting to attract whoever you'd like to have sex with?

My looks, my figure, my clothes and my personality are all things that someone might find attractive, and things that I find attractive about other people.

That's how I, you know, ended up with my husband. My very best friend and supporter. Because we found each other attractive for all those reasons. Other people have been attracted to me, some of them creepy with it, some of them charming. Relationships have come out of where I gelled with people I also found attractive.

Do some people genuinely think it's bad to want to look attractive to people you want to attract? It's what this thread seems to imply.

I think long hair looks nicer on most women, and my DH feels the same. It’s just what we’re used to as a marker of femininity. So I guess I am agreeing with the OP, although I don’t see it as a negative thing.

I had a short bob and I couldn’t physically shape it myself due to the kinks, and I had to cope with a big fuzzy triangle-head until it grew out. I think anything between 1 inch and shoulder length is a no-go for my hair type.

Maintenance-wise, I do have to blow-dry when I want to look decent and most of the time am too lazy to do so, and just tie it back. However even in a tied back frizzy mess, I personally prefer it to a 1 inch crop.

I have 10x fewer haircuts than DH, and he has to wash hair (and face-shaves) every day. So I don’t think I have more hair maintenance overall.

@WhatifIfeellikeacat

Hahaha at short hair being expensive. I have one word for that.

Clippers.

Why not a razor then?

That's a bit of an odd thing to say! Clippers come with guards all the way up to an inch long. You can do say a number 5 at the sides and a number 8 at the top - bingo, short pixie. Then you can let it grow on top and keep the sides in check for a few months, which is what I'm doing. Hardly the same as razoring it all off like Captain Picard.

Not that I've got anything against razoring it all off like Captain Picard - I had a number 3 buzzcut for a year or so, which was as far as I personally wanted to go - I'm just pointing out that clippers aren't just for taking everything off.

@MaggieAndHopey a lot of people have longer bits than that though and wouldn’t want a pixie cut.

I have mine long as it suits my face shape. My husband doesn't care. My girlfriends haven't cared either though one wanted me to cut it shorter to see what it looked like and to match hers.

Absolutely not. I much prefer longer hair on me, it suits my face better. I also think some women really pull off shorter hair.
I hate the assumption that everything we do is to make us attractive to other people 🙄

@Loveinatimeofcovid for sure! I'm just pointing out that using clippers isn't literally the same thing as taking a razor to your bonce, as the poster I replied to seemed to think it was.

@Rainbunny I think short hair suits many women. It certainly looks much better than all the long hair that looks like it needs a good wash and often a good comb.

I hate seeing lank greasy unwashed hair.

Having said that, in female relationships I am often a femme interested in femmes.

@Ilovegreentomatoes

As usual it always gets of topic and a chorous of posters come up with the how dare you think I keep my hair long for a man or your just jealous and misinterpret the whole thread.AIBU was probably not the best board to post this in.

The thread title is

To think most women keep hair long to be attractive to the opposite sex?

So what was it meant to be about if not To think most women keep hair long to be attractive to the opposite sex?

How have people misinterpreted it by thinking it's about having long hair for a man?

When I was in my 20s (in the 80s) and had my hair short people said "you have such lovely thick hair, why don't you grow it?" When I grew it people would say "why don't you cut it short so it doesn't hide your face?" Updos were not fashionable then and were associated with older women in much the same way as short hair is associated with post menopausal women now.

@MaggieAndHopey but for most people it would be good as. I can’t even get away with clippers for my kids hairstyles (and being children when they have it short they obviously have it very short).

But rather than take personal offence discuss the issue at hand.