Sorry in advance for long post.
Looking for opinions really... so for context, DD is 11 months old, I am on mat leave and due back to work in about 4 weeks. My parents live 5 mins away, I am and always have been very close to them and pre-lockdown I would see them maybe 3 times a week (sometimes only for an hour or 2 at a time) as they are both retired . This was especially helpful when my DH went back to work after DD’s birth. DH has been working from home since March and will soon be going back into the office a few days a week. It’s been great having him at home as he’s been able to see our DD grow everyday which he would have missed out on if in the office everyday!
Now that lockdown is easing, I’m able to start seeing my parents more often, as I did before when mat leave started. As they’re only round the corner it’s easy for me to see them this frequently. However DH says that it’s only fair for our DD to see all grandparents the same amount each week and that it should be equal. DH parents are a 30 min drive away and pre-lockdown I would always go and visit them once a week For the day. I’ve started this up again now, along with going to my own parents for the day once a week. I have also been popping to see my parents for an additional couple of hours during the week (as I want to get out the house as much as I can whilst still on mat leave and also I’ve always seen my parents a few times a week) however DH doesn’t think this is fair (he knows I did this pre-lockdown but as he is at home every day now he is more aware and therefore expresses his opinion more). He doesn’t necessarily say I can’t see them, but instead if I have seen them more than he’s parents, then he says we have to go and see his parents again too, so it’s equal. I don’t mind seeing them, but it is just a bit too tit for tat for me... I don’t want it to be so regimented that both sets of grandparents have seen DD the same number of hours each week. Naturally it will go up and down depending on family occasions etc.
Also when I go back to work, it is likely that both myself and DH will be working from home full time. We are using the grandparents to look after DD - DH has said that childcare will need to be equal between all GPs (which I totally get) however he’s parents do not drive so Could not come over to get DD, where as my Parents could easily come and collect DD to look after. If we were both commuting to the office then it would be easier to split the childcare as we could drop DD off but I just think it’s ridiculous for us to drive to take DD to He’s parents 30 mins away for us to drive back home to work? DH is also getting a bit funny about childcare, saying that he will get up early to get most of his work done before I start work each day, meaning he can look after DD without the involvement of grandparents . Of course this is great I’m happy for him to spend time with our DD however I also feel that after 4 Months of not seeing their granddaughter that it would be nice for the Grandparents to spend some quality time with our DD in the week.
AIBU For wanting to spend time with my Parents throughout the week and to see them more than my PIL? Also AIBU to think the most logical option is for my parents to do most of the childcare due to current circumstances? Also to add, PIL have other grand children they are involved in, whereas our DD is my parents first therefore they have more time to support us.
TIA!