Boys with long hair?

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I just want to know why people are so against toddler boys or just boys in general having long hair?? I always thought it was cute but I've heard so many rude comments about it lately. It seems to really bother people?

SleepingStandingUp He's only 19 so he'd probably just giggle back!

As for the "You look like a girl" thing, it's not offensive if it's an honest mistake, obviously ... It does need slapping down when it's an unsubtle attempt to shame a person into conforming with the speaker's gender stereotype expectations by trying to embarrass and upset them.

@Grendalsmum

SleepingStandingUp He's only 19 so he'd probably just giggle back!

As for the "You look like a girl" thing, it's not offensive if it's an honest mistake, obviously ... It does need slapping down when it's an unsubtle attempt to shame a person into conforming with the speaker's gender stereotype expectations by trying to embarrass and upset them.

Oh God no then. A whimsical aww if I was young he'd have been the kind of guy I giggled at, but he's young enough to be my actual child

@Grendalsmum

SleepingStandingUp He's only 19 so he'd probably just giggle back!

As for the "You look like a girl" thing, it's not offensive if it's an honest mistake, obviously ... It does need slapping down when it's an unsubtle attempt to shame a person into conforming with the speaker's gender stereotype expectations by trying to embarrass and upset them.

This. Even with a long haired child and husband I've done the say hi to the little girl... But the "oh he looks like a girl" stuff is different

I don't like it either, personally, but each to his own. I wouldn't say anything.

I do dislike it when people say they enjoy watching someone 'squirm' when they get the sex wrong. People are trying to get it right, and use whatever cues they can, and are likely embarrassed if they're wrong - why do people enjoy watching others being uncomfortable about something?! It's as bad as someone i know who likes to not tell people she is pregnant as long as possible, long after someone would usually tell people, specifically because she says she enjoys watching people wondering and not knowing what to say, even after it's relatively obvious. Or another couple, who put up fairly obvious posts that they appeared to be living separately now, but didn't actually come out and tell their wider circle of friends/acquaintances, because they (said later that they) liked watching people squirm about not knowing whether to invite them together to things or to ask about the other person etc. Anyone who deliberately plays with other people's embarrassment and enjoys watching them after they get something like the sex of child wrong annoys me.

But the long hair itself, fine, do what you like. I don't particularly like it - OK on younger boys but I don't like it on older boys/men as I don't find it attractive, especially with facial hair, but that's just a personal preference.

I love long hair on boys or girls. I wish it was more normal for men to have long hair, it's totally arbitrary and there's no reason long hair has to be reserved for women.

I hate the reasons people give for cutting little boys hair off - nits, gets dirty, can't be bothered to wash/style it, gets hot, gets in the way etc. Nobody would ever suggest shaving a girls head for any of those reasons and they would probably be quite shocked if someone did. So what's the difference?

I think it’s very normal for boys to have long hair nowadays. At school it was only the metal heads but all my male friends had long hair. My boys do now, one is just past the surfer dude stage as his hair was long before lock down and hasn’t been trimmed since, and the other one has just got his in to a nice surfer style.

I get comments all the time on how retro and beautiful they look. It suits us as a family tbh, we all have that kind of 90’s grunge look (but clean!) going on.

And as for “you look like a girl”, we only had that in one tiny town when we went on holiday when some boys were being mean and my little boy aged only 4 said “you look like a moron” in response.

I don’t like long hair on boys, and don’t get why parents would want their boy to look like a girl.
I probably never came across a male with long hair in real-life until my twenties, maybe that’s why it looks so wrong to me.

@OnTheFencePaint

I don’t like long hair on boys, and don’t get why parents would want their boy to look like a girl. I probably never came across a male with long hair in real-life until my twenties, maybe that’s why it looks so wrong to me.

Well he doesn't look like a girl, he looks like a boy. With long hair. Because long hair suits him. Just like my husband looks like a man and Jason Mamoa is ALL man 😂

My DS doesn't look anything like a girl.

DH also has long hair, collar length on the top with undercut sides, and I promise he is all man. He went and got it cut today for the first time in ages and came home looking like a sexy viking

My husband has waist-length hair in beautiful condition. No one ever thinks he looks like a woman so why would people assume that children with long hair are girls?

don’t get why parents would want their boy to look like a girl.

Firstly, its not the worst thing in the world to look like a girl. Secondly, your face is the same when you have long hair by the way. And lastly, when newborn babies are little baldies they could be any sex, no one sits there crying that their bald little boy looks exactly the same as a bald little girl.

I don't see anything wrong with it, but personally, I couldn't stand the resistance from my nearly 2 year old DS if I were to try and de-tangle his long hair everyday. Not to mention how much time it would take to dry with him squirming about.

I started cutting it myself during lockdown because the 10 minutes it takes to trim beats the hysteria we would have otherwise.

When he's older, I'll fully support his style choices, whatever that may be!

My husband has natural ringlets. He always keeps it long (except for one regrettable time he had it shaved off and we were sad for a year). There would be no mistaking him for a woman though, he's very masculine looking.

Our tiny 3 year old son is currently sporting long blonde curly hair, I literally had my finger hovering over the website to book him a much needed haircut when lockdown happened. He also chose to wear a pink t-shirt today (which came in a bundle of second-hand clothes, it wasn't something I particularly sought out to be "edgy", but not something I care enough about to throw away.) A couple of people at the park said "She?... He?" and I just smiled and said "he" and we all moved on. I really don't see why people make it an issue.

My husband has waist-length hair in beautiful condition. No one ever thinks he looks like a woman so why would people assume that children with long hair are girls?

Because most (pre-teen) boys don't have gruff voices and facial hair to give the game away?

I don't like long hair on boys. I just think it looks scruffy and unkempt, and it's just much more practical, cool (in this hot weather) and comfortable to keep it short. I also prefer shorter hair on girls for the same reasons.

Picking up the baldie babies comment. When my DC was tiny, hair was slow to grow, and money was short so I opted for buying multi packs of baby grows which came in mixed, neutral colours.
People would ask "is it a boy or a girl?"
Why does it matter to a stranger what sex my child is? It's a baby.
Once we were out and I had dressed her in a blue stripy babygrow which had a few pink bits on. A woman came up and asked, "is it a boy or a girl?"
"A girl"
"Oh I couldn't tell by how it was dressed."
"Oh okay"
"The blue confused me because of the flowers"
"Oh okay"
She went on and on about how blue was for boys and in the end I said, "Well I am hoping shell grow up to be a lesbian."

My 7 year old son has long hair, his choice not mine. It does upset me when people are mean about it, and they are sometimes. Genuine mistakes don't bother me. But some people are dicks about it. My older adult DD has dumped friends who she's heard talkiing shit about her little brother's hair.

But the most upsetting is when people tell him he's a girl. He corrects them and tells them that he's a boy and they say no you're a girl because you have long hair. This has happened a lot. Sometimes from other kids at school and sometimes from adults. One woman at soft place said it so much that he came to me upset and confused asking me if he was still a boy as the lady kept saying he wasn't he was a girl.

Ds has short hair and I prefer it that way.His hair type means that it would grow outwards instead of down iykwim

People don't like to have their ideas challenged. There are so many societal issues because we force people to be things we think they should be rather than accept them as they are or as they wish to be.
So long hair must equal girl. Boys must be physical and love football.
It became prevalent in the 80s, but we need to get away from the "girls' toys", "boys toys" mentality. A bike can be any colour and for anyone. So can a teaset or lego or dressing up costumes. Anyone can love reading or craft or rugby.
As a society we need to adjust our expectations, it's extremely damaging to young people.

We need to have high expectations for all children, not push them into a dichotomy from birth.

My DS has short hair, my decision. He's a sweaty, messy toddler and it's just easier for me to look after it when it's short. I also subconsciously buy into gender stereotypes and I want him to look like a little boy.

I don't have any opinion on other people's children's' hair, but there is a girl on my mum group who constantly complains that her DS gets called a girl. He's 3, has beautiful features and lovely long eyelashes and shoulder length hair. I think even in 2020 Britain, looking at him it isn't a stretch of the imagination to wonder why people mistake him for a girl. Sometimes I think she does it just so she can jump down people's throats and react.

@MashedPotatoBrainz

My 7 year old son has long hair, his choice not mine. It does upset me when people are mean about it, and they are sometimes. Genuine mistakes don't bother me. But some people are dicks about it. My older adult DD has dumped friends who she's heard talkiing shit about her little brother's hair.

But the most upsetting is when people tell him he's a girl. He corrects them and tells them that he's a boy and they say no you're a girl because you have long hair. This has happened a lot. Sometimes from other kids at school and sometimes from adults. One woman at soft place said it so much that he came to me upset and confused asking me if he was still a boy as the lady kept saying he wasn't he was a girl.

That's appalling. I mean it's shot off a kid but for an adult to bully a kid like that is awful

Interestingly my DS8 always comments on hair and gender. He doesn't get it from us at all- his brother has long hair when younger so in lots of photos- so I imagine he's, sadly, picking it up from the playground, but it's specifically that I have short hair so can't be a girl! Thinking about it there's no girls in his class with short hair at all. The social conditioning from the playground is worrying.

And lastly, when newborn babies are little baldies they could be any sex, no one sits there crying that their bald little boy looks exactly the same as a bald little girl.

Some people do but the other way round. It's why they stick those bloody awful bows on their baby girl's heads. God forbid anyone mistake their baldie baby for a boy

Both my babies were born with hair - 1 girl/1 boy. Both have long hair now