Do you ever think it is acceptable to smack a child?

[planetfedup]

Only asking (and no this isn't a thread about a thread, just a general observation) but there is another thread here and a woman hit her dog and is being berated on here. However, in the past I have seen people admitting to hitting their kids without half as much vitriol being spewed out. By the way, I don't believe in smacking in any way.

And this is one of the reasons why the behavior of children is getting progressively worse. I would also bring back the cane in school.

Grandad, is that you?

Is that really a grey area? Or just a complete irrelevance? That's like entering a discussion about whether it's ever okay to assault a stranger and saying "well, it's a grey area, because like, pushing someone out of the way of an oncoming car would be ok"

@speakout so what does, and what should happen?

@SkinnyChicky

And this is one of the reasons why the behavior of children is getting progressively worse. I would also bring back the cane in school.

Yeah, and boomers are all selfish idiots because they got caned and smacked around as kids.

See, I can spout ignorant bullshit about an entire generation with spurious connections to hitting them as well.

drspouse where I live the law is clear. Assault is a criminal offence.
Easy peasy.

And this is one of the reasons why the behavior of children is getting progressively worse. I would also bring back the cane in school

Children are the same as they've ever been, kids today are no worse than kids in previous generations.

I don’t do it and don’t think it’s right to smack, but I also think that parenting is a learning curve and I wouldn’t support social services involvement for smacking alone. I think we’re better as a country offering alternatives and free parenting support and 1:1 coaching.

@SkinnyChicky
Just for you:
comb.io/7NsMwB

I think we’re better as a country offering alternatives and free parenting support and 1:1 coaching.

I am sorry but I disagree.

Make it illegal to hit kids and the rest will follow.
Men didn't need coaching in how not to hit their wives when it fell out of favour- se don;t need to be taught how to manage adults with SEN without violence or care for the elderly without assaulting them.
We even train dogs without resorting to violence.
It's a sad society that gives better protection to animals than children.

@speakout so presumably if a parent is found to have hit a child they are put in prison? So the child IS removed from them?
That's not all that easy. Who looks after the child? What if the child won't testify? How do you get a child to report this if they know the parent will be imprisoned, and really they just want their parent to stop? Is the parent allowed to have more children? If not, how do they stop them?

drspouse This will be case dependant. Most first offenders of assault will not be sent to prison unless very serious.

The system works well in Scotland. It is illegal to hit other people and animals. It's very simple.

I really don't think there's any shortage of information available on non-violent methods of parenting.

i am very young, under 18, and i was hit by my parents as a child. i am autistic though, so i understand that i must have drove them mad

amb885 it is not your fault that your parents chose to assault you. X

@SkinnyChicky

And this is one of the reasons why the behavior of children is getting progressively worse. I would also bring back the cane in school.

Yes, those glory days when if the teacher didn't like you, they could beat you and publicly humiliate you.

I remember boys at my school (and the occasional girl) getting the cane regularly. The whole school were brought into the assembly hall to watch, as a deterrent. I can now look back and it's as clear as day that those children fell into two categories. 1) the ones who were abused at home and simply had no idea how to interact with other people and 2) the ones who had some sort of special needs. I'm not sure which category I feel more sad for looking back.

@amb885

i am very young, under 18, and i was hit by my parents as a child. i am autistic though, so i understand that i must have drove them mad

Children are annoying, it's their job. Parents have a different job and are supposed to understand that. It is not your fault.

If an adult lashes out at their partner in anger, thats not ok, thats LTB territory.

But an adult lashing out at a child in anger is understandable and acceptable? No, it really isn't.

If an adult tries to control their partner or some other adult by hitting them, that would not be acceptable, thats assault... why is it ok if one party is a child?

@WiddlinDiddlin

If an adult lashes out at their partner in anger, thats not ok, thats LTB territory.

But an adult lashing out at a child in anger is understandable and acceptable? No, it really isn't.

If an adult tries to control their partner or some other adult by hitting them, that would not be acceptable, thats assault... why is it ok if one party is a child?

Strangely enough I was just thinking this, I would LTB if DH hit me in anger but I would be apoplectic if he ever hit DS.

I think parents who use physical punishment systematically is extremely damaging. But although it hasn’t happened I can imagine snapping at a younger child who did something extremely dangerous or a very rude/disrespectful teen.

Rollingfog would you also imagine "snapping" ( I assume you mean hitting) a disrepectful/rude partner or adult?

Yes I would, I think if my husband/sister/ uncle did something very awful and unexpected I can imagine reacting in a inappropriate way...

I really don't think there's any shortage of information available on non-violent methods of parenting.
No, there isn't, but just like saying "don't hit another adult, talk it out" doesn't prevent assault, information isn't enough.
Nobody ever said "gosh, now I've read that leaflet, I realise I shouldn't hit anyone" and never did it again, did they?

@Rollingfog

Yes I would, I think if my husband/sister/ uncle did something very awful and unexpected I can imagine reacting in a inappropriate way...

You'd hit your husband/sister/uncle for being rude?

Well, presumably you know that's not ok and your husband would be absolutely within his rights to divorce you for abuse?

What I am saying is that everyone can react inappropriately in extreme situations This is human and I don’t think this this is the same as or as damaging as using smacking/spanking/ threats as your usual parenting approach.

I would feel very uncomfortable if l saw someone smack their child. Not sure what it achieves and certainly doesn't teach them anything imo. Plus physically they are so much smaller so even if you think it doesn't hurt, how would you know?