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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If this was YOU on Wednesday, then I’m really sorry.

297 replies

flowergirl24 · 17/07/2020 12:58

Two days ago I was walking in a seaside town in Devon, with two dogs and two children. After a stressful time at work, we wanted to have a few days off. Our break turned pretty hellish with children not sleeping at all and lots going wrong. On this last day, my Labrador tried to attack another dog, knocked over my 2 year old child while doing it and I lost it. I smacked him and shouted at him. It was kind of the last straw. Two women passing by stopped and had a go at me, saying I should never treat an animal like that. My husband told them to back off. He later said that he saw the one crying on the other’s shoulder (they looked like grown up mother and daughter) so they were clearly very upset by the incident. If this was YOU, or you know who this was, then I want to say sorry. I’m ashamed at my behaviour. Hoping to get some help for me to deal with my anger and I’ve already booked some specialist dog training to help with that situation.

OP posts:
biddybird · 18/07/2020 12:55

PickwickThePlockingDodo

In hindsight I should have called the police, but I called the RSPCA after getting him to agree he would let the dog out if they told him to. Unfortunately, the dog suffered for a further 20 minutes while I was on hold trying to get through to the RSPCA. He did eventually let it out after speaking to them on my phone though.

Russell19 · 18/07/2020 13:21

So.....your dog didn't even touch the other dog, it just launched towards it and you pulled it back? If it was on a tight lead how did it knock over your child? You then yelled and hit your dog 3 times in front of your children and other people for what it sounds like no reason. 🤔 If you lose your temper over something like that there's something wrong OP. Was your husband shocked? Sounds like he wasn't which means your temperament can be like that often. Considering your job I think you need to sort out your anger issues.

LuckyLinky · 18/07/2020 13:29

The women had no right to shout at you and well done to your husband to telling them to leave you alone. Smacking a lab on the rump 3 times is hardly the crime of the century. You're getting proper help training the dog and that's what matters. Having your child get hurt is a huge trigger.

queenMab99 · 18/07/2020 13:30

I think my dog would prefer a smack, than some horrible noisy thing as his skin is less sensitive than his ears!
I do believe in posititive training for dogs, but love and patience sometimes just doesn't cut it, in extreme circumstances where another dog or child could be injured.

TheSandman · 18/07/2020 13:35

Treating violence against animals like it’s just a small faux pas isn’t acceptable.

Are you a vegan @ArriettyJones?

MrMeSeeks · 18/07/2020 14:40

It was a smack, when the dog was out of control and hurt the woman's child. Your reaction is way over the top. Children matter more than dogs. Get that into your head

It knocked over a child by mistake. The op beat her dog three or more times when it was On a LEAD. Maybe get that into your head.
There was no beed for this.

MrMeSeeks · 18/07/2020 14:40

*need

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 18/07/2020 14:59

@TheSandman

Treating violence against animals like it’s just a small faux pas isn’t acceptable.

Are you a vegan @ArriettyJones?

Totally irrelevant.
PickwickThePlockingDodo · 18/07/2020 15:02

@biddybird

PickwickThePlockingDodo

In hindsight I should have called the police, but I called the RSPCA after getting him to agree he would let the dog out if they told him to. Unfortunately, the dog suffered for a further 20 minutes while I was on hold trying to get through to the RSPCA. He did eventually let it out after speaking to them on my phone though.

God I don't think I would've been responsible for my actions Angry The RSPCA are pretty useless at the best of times, being on hold for ages doesn't surprise me.
EllaAlright · 18/07/2020 15:55

I don’t see why people are taking the piss out of the women who witnessed this. It obviously distressed them a great deal.

TheSandman · 18/07/2020 16:38

@PickwickThePlockingDodo

Not irrelevant at all. If she was a vegan then I would say she had a perfect right to hold that opinion. If she wasn't then I would have asked her how hitting a dog in an, instantly regretted, moment of anger wasn't 'acceptable', and the systematic use of animals for foodstuffs was.

biddybird · 18/07/2020 18:26

The RSPCA are pretty useless at the best of times, being on hold for ages doesn't surprise me.

Yes, lesson learnt. I stopped making my annual donation to them after that, too. I should have called the police and gotten permission to break into the car. It was a sweltering day and a huge hairy dog.
Having said that I have no idea how to break into a car!

MaxNormal · 18/07/2020 19:44

I love dogs, and find the mistreatment of animals very upsetting.

However I cannot get that worked up about what happened. Yes if I'd witnessed it I might have been upset, but that would be because I'd worry that the dog was treated like this regularly, that would be the thing that bothered me.

OP, you are clearly not someone like that at all, it was a one-off that you deeply regret and are taking steps to mitigate further stress.

As for people saying you beat the dog - nonsense. Beating implies with an implement. I promise you I could not physically hit a Labrador's rump hard enough to cause it pain, few women could.

A stressful, all-round upsetting event, certainly. But anyone who thinks that is genuine animal abuse is in the fortunate position of never having witnessed any (I used to volunteer at an amimal shelter in the Middle East and I won't tell you some of the things that went on there).

TheSandman · 19/07/2020 00:04

Having said that I have no idea how to break into a car!

Hit side door window with rock.

Busymum45 · 19/07/2020 00:08

You hit your dog?! You don't deserve that lovely animal!

Busymum45 · 19/07/2020 00:09

Hope the RSPCA were called?

winetime89 · 19/07/2020 00:16

Please don't be upset op, we all make mistakes especially when your sleep deprived. I'd have cried too as I'm a sucker for anything like that and can't cope seeing animals being hurt but it wouldn't have being to make you feel guilty as I'd have properly reacted the same as you too (as I'm assuming it was unexpected. )just try not to feel guilty and move on. It was a one off you know you love your dog very much and that's all that matters.

Busymum45 · 19/07/2020 00:20

Has this happened before?

TheSandman · 19/07/2020 00:49

You hit your dog?! You don't deserve that lovely animal!

Have you seen what dogs do to each other and animals smaller than them?

Get real.

ArriettyJones · 19/07/2020 00:50

@TheSandman

You hit your dog?! You don't deserve that lovely animal!

Have you seen what dogs do to each other and animals smaller than them?

Get real.

Well that’s a race to the bottom, if ever I heard one.
Boredbumhead · 19/07/2020 09:44

Your dog tried to attack another dog, and in the process bowled over your two year old.
If course you are going to react to that.
It was a one off. Don't worry and just try to move on.

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 19/07/2020 10:46

Everyone saying it was a one-off, I rather think it wasn't. Why would OP get help with her anger issues if it was just a one-off?

Original poster
flowergirl24 · 19/07/2020 13:37

Pickwick- It was a one off in that I had never lost control and hurt my dog before. However, my anger has got progressively worse recently, so I know that I’ve got an underlying problem that I need to deal with.

I’m embarking on a course of therapy from next Thursday so hopefully I can make things better. Would really love to hear from anyone who has been through similar to see if it worked, or if they’ve got any suggestions.

OP posts:
wildone84 · 19/07/2020 14:15

@flowergirl24

Pickwick- It was a one off in that I had never lost control and hurt my dog before. However, my anger has got progressively worse recently, so I know that I’ve got an underlying problem that I need to deal with.

I’m embarking on a course of therapy from next Thursday so hopefully I can make things better. Would really love to hear from anyone who has been through similar to see if it worked, or if they’ve got any suggestions.

Ignore the idiots on this thread OP. What matters is that you're taking steps to make sure it doesn't happen again.
Patbutcherismyhero · 19/07/2020 16:37

@flowergirl24 This is one of the worst threads I've seen in a while. I really hope you're ok. You've made a mistake, you've apologised and are going out of your way to make sure it doesn't happen again. Please ignore the nasty people on this thread who are so obviously getting a thrill from kicking you while you're down. Frankly I think they should be more ashamed than you.

You had a bad day. You snapped. It happens. We're all human.