Page 10 | If this was YOU on Wednesday, then I’m really sorry.

flowergirl24 · 2020-07-17T11:58:28+00:00

Two days ago I was walking in a seaside town in Devon, with two dogs and two children. After a stressful time at work, we wanted to have a few days off. Our break turned pretty hellish with children not sleeping at all and lots going wrong. On this last day, my Labrador tried to attack another dog, knocked over my 2 year old child while doing it and I lost it. I smacked him and shouted at him. It was kind of the last straw. Two women passing by stopped and had a go at me, saying I should never treat an animal like that. My husband told them to back off. He later said that he saw the one crying on the other’s shoulder (they looked like grown up mother and daughter) so they were clearly very upset by the incident. If this was YOU, or you know who this was, then I want to say sorry. I’m ashamed at my behaviour. Hoping to get some help for me to deal with my anger and I’ve already booked some specialist dog training to help with that situation.

Boredbumhead · 17/07/2020 23:02

I don't blame you for hitting your dig for that OP. It must have been terrifying and that's a mother bear protective response.
Is your lab likely to attack again? Sounds like a muzzle is needed.

Give yourself a break. You are human.

Happenchance · 17/07/2020 23:06

Still can’t get over a grown woman crying over this 😂 pissy wet blanket. We have no idea what was going on in this woman’s life. For all we know, just like for OP, this incident could have been the straw that broke the camel’s back. She could have just had her own dog PTS; she could have depression or anxiety; she could work in animal welfare and be suffering with compassion fatigue; she could be experiencing domestic violence at home. The possibilities are endless.

From OP’s post it isn’t clear if the dog was on a lead on not. She says “my Labrador tried to attack another dog” so her dog could have been on a lead, metres away from it but lunging towards it. OP is seeking advice from a (hopefully adequately trained) professional who can clinically observe the dog’s behaviour in real life and advise the OP based on their clinical observations. There is nothing to be gained from people continuing to judge the incident and advise the OP based on what little information we have.

@flowergirl24 it might be an idea to delete this thread because even if the ladies see it, they have received a lot of criticism, which defeats the purpose of this thread.

wildone84 · 17/07/2020 23:14

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut

I said second only to child abusers. As in child abusers are worse. Do learn to read.

And there is a great deal of difference between a smack and hitting it at least 3 times while screaming at it. Beating an animal is disgusting. Just don't have one. Perhaps I should come to your house and start shouting and thump you at least 3 times and you can tell me that it's no worse than a smack. Or perhaps you should wind your neck in and stop condoning animal abuse, which by the way, is illegal and can carry a custodial sentence as well as fines of up to £20000.

It was a smack, when the dog was out of control and hurt the woman's child. Your reaction is way over the top. Children matter more than dogs. Get that into your head.

wildone84 · 17/07/2020 23:19

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut Honestly I hope you are not a dog owner if this is how you react to this situation.

Happenchance · 17/07/2020 23:35

@Wildone84 aggression creates aggression. Smacking the dog when it was already over the threshold could have made the dog redirect onto (bite) OP or the child.

Positive punishment (such as smacking) rarely works as intended because the dog is more likely to associate the punishment with something in their immediate surroundings (such as the dog or OP’s child) rather than as a consequence of their actions. This can lead to dogs becoming fear aggressive towards dogs or children if they are punished in the vicinity of them.

wildone84 · 17/07/2020 23:39

[quote Happenchance]@Wildone84 aggression creates aggression. Smacking the dog when it was already over the threshold could have made the dog redirect onto (bite) OP or the child.

Positive punishment (such as smacking) rarely works as intended because the dog is more likely to associate the punishment with something in their immediate surroundings (such as the dog or OP’s child) rather than as a consequence of their actions. This can lead to dogs becoming fear aggressive towards dogs or children if they are punished in the vicinity of them.[/quote]
OP did it as a one off and is putting the dog into training, according to what she wrote here. I'm not disputing that it was not the best course of action to take by a long shot. But people on here who think that she needs arresting for instinctively protecting her child from the dog, should get some perspective.

Lockheart · 18/07/2020 00:29

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut

it wasn't a smack though was it? OP said herself that she hit him at least 3 times while shouting at him. If someone hit you in the street would you be so quick to go Oh well, she's struggling?

Just fucking control yourself, funny how these people only "lose control" on those weaker than them.

If someone was trying to attack me in the street I'd damn well hope some bystanders would intervene to scream at them and give them a thump.

OP didn't just randomly decide to smack her dog for no reason or just because she enjoys it.

You're being utterly ludicrous.

BubblyBarbara · 18/07/2020 01:27

I wouldn't hit a dog for that behaviour but I'd seriously consider having it put down if it injured my child when trying to attack another dog

lilmishap · 18/07/2020 01:52

Bloody hell Barbara that's a bit extreme.

Everyone is stressed and short tempered and the dogs likely picking up on that, a shit thing happened that you're beating yourself up over.

It was shit, but you seem to have learnt your own limit, you're not the sort of woman who can hit a dog and feel okay about it.
Move on.

eaglejulesk · 18/07/2020 02:37

I wouldn't hit a dog for that behaviour but I'd seriously consider having it put down if it injured my child when trying to attack another dog

Oh for goodness sake! The OP didn't say her child was injured, it was simply knocked over. Obviously the dog didn't do it on purpose. I seriously hope you don't have a dog yourself.

OP you did wrong, but we all do stupid things at times when we are stressed. I doubt your dog was actually hurt, and I'm sure he has got over it. You know it was wrong, and you are addressing your dog's training, so please don't beat yourself up.

ArriettyJones · 18/07/2020 03:22

@GADDay

Question to the animal abuse brigade.

What would you do? Just stand by and watch your pooch get stuck in?

If a dog is trying to attack another dog, then normally all your energy goes into PULLING him away. Not repeatedly HITTING the dog. (Hitting the dog doesn’t help, it might make things worse, it’s cruel, it’s unnecessary and it’s terrible behaviour to model in front of children.)

Isn’t that much obvious?

ArriettyJones · 18/07/2020 03:23

@BubblyBarbara

I wouldn't hit a dog for that behaviour but I'd seriously consider having it put down if it injured my child when trying to attack another dog

Absolutely bonkers.

SquishyBones · 18/07/2020 06:29

@BubblyBarbara

I wouldn't hit a dog for that behaviour but I'd seriously consider having it put down if it injured my child when trying to attack another dog

So hitting the dog is cruel ... killing it is fine? Jesus H Christ there are some messed up people on here.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 18/07/2020 09:51

The child wasn't injured, it was knocked over. All hitting a dog is going to achieve is fear of you which is more likely to result in a bite without warning, out of fear and stress of being hit.

It isnt a choice between child and dog. The child was never in any danger.

EinsteinaGogo · 18/07/2020 10:11

I have a lab. They are bouncy but not (typically) aggressive.

They could easily knock over a small child if jumping up in play, etc. Not out of aggression.

Which is why you have them on a lead when you need to. Always.

The OP doesn't say her dog 'attacked' another dog, just 'went for'. he wasn't on a lead. Her fault and her husbands fault.

OP - glad you are getting some training advice. You need it. I feel very sorry for you dog. I hope you love him and care for him. If you don't, consider rehoming via a reputable rescue.

Original poster

flowergirl24 · 18/07/2020 10:32

Just to clarify, our dog was on a tight lead the whole time. The other dog was on one of the longer clicky type leads. (I’m not blaming the other dog btw as ours reacted first) Our lab thankfully never even touched the other dog, but just launched out towards it, and I pulled him straight back and held the lead tightly.

OP posts:

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 18/07/2020 11:00

@BubblyBarbara

I wouldn't hit a dog for that behaviour but I'd seriously consider having it put down if it injured my child when trying to attack another dog

I think I prefer the smacking

EinsteinaGogo · 18/07/2020 11:01

@flowergirl24

Just to clarify, our dog was on a tight lead the whole time. The other dog was on one of the longer clicky type leads. (I’m not blaming the other dog btw as ours reacted first) Our lab thankfully never even touched the other dog, but just launched out towards it, and I pulled him straight back and held the lead tightly.

OP

You've made your dog out to sound uncontrollable, when it's your responsibility to look after him.

You're behaving badly to your dog because you aren't managing him correctly.

Focus on training your dog and continue to get advice. Let your husband look after your toddler while you focus on your dog walks and getting them right for a while.

Repeatedly hitting your dog and shrieking at him is very, very bad and can't be explained away.

Sort it out and get your DH to play his part too.

PennyArcade · 18/07/2020 11:13

Our lab thankfully never even touched the other dog, but just launched out towards it, and I pulled him straight back and held the lead tightly

So your dog didn’t attack another dog. He knocked your dc over by a sudden movement (I’m sure this isn’t the only occasion your dc has been accidentally knocked over by a big, bouncy lab or his waggy tail).

In fact your dog was on a leash and under control yet you saw fit to lash out at him? Why?

SquishyBones · 18/07/2020 11:19

@PennyArcade

Our lab thankfully never even touched the other dog, but just launched out towards it, and I pulled him straight back and held the lead tightly

So your dog didn’t attack another dog. He knocked your dc over by a sudden movement (I’m sure this isn’t the only occasion your dc has been accidentally knocked over by a big, bouncy lab or his waggy tail).

In fact your dog was on a leash and under control yet you saw fit to lash out at him? Why?

I would imagine trying to hold back a strong dog that is acting aggressive and has just knocked your kid over is pretty stressful. Infact, I know it is as I’ve been there.

OP how long have you had the dog and has he always been reactive? Join the CARE for reactive dogs on Facebook, I’m on there and it’s a great group. I’ve just taken my reactive Doberman out for a training walk! Pocket full of fish and an hour of working on obedience, loose lead walking, “watch me” training, “leave it” training and a few tricks ... in between she got to work on ignoring other dogs.

Message me if you want, I know how frustrating and soul destroying walking a reactive dog is and I wont judge you at all.

notreallybotheredaboutausernam · 18/07/2020 11:37

@gwenhwyfar
So you're saying that poor defenceless women need a man to protect them? 🙄 so insulting!

Spinnyspiney · 18/07/2020 11:48

They CRIED over that? I wouldn't be apologising to them, they need to get a grip.
You aren't going to find them here - if you really want to advertise what happened then try a local FB grp or similar. But honestly, don't beat yourself up over it, just don't do it again.

biddybird · 18/07/2020 11:57

They were probably crying about someone being cruel to a dog. I did the same when I was trying to convince a man to remove his panting and frantic dog from his car on a blazing hot day. (He was telling me to get a life and mind my own business etc.)

PennyArcade · 18/07/2020 12:03

I’ve just taken my reactive Doberman out for a training walk! Pocket full of fish and an hour of working on obedience, loose lead walking, “watch me” training, “leave it” training and a few tricks ... in between she got to work on ignoring other dogs

Just like all dog owners who know that reward methods are the only way to “discipline” a dog.

We don’t know if OP’s dog is reactive. She hasnt confirmed that. For all we know dog approached another dog to have a sniff - like all dogs want to. OP has clarified that dog was on a leash and under control. She hasn’t said why she felt the need to then lay into her dog after a non event.

I didn’t ask you to answer for OP. You know no more than the rest of us.

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 18/07/2020 12:09

@biddybird

They were probably crying about someone being cruel to a dog. I did the same when I was trying to convince a man to remove his panting and frantic dog from his car on a blazing hot day. (He was telling me to get a life and mind my own business etc.)

I hope you called the police.