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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If this was YOU on Wednesday, then I’m really sorry.

297 replies

flowergirl24 · 17/07/2020 12:58

Two days ago I was walking in a seaside town in Devon, with two dogs and two children. After a stressful time at work, we wanted to have a few days off. Our break turned pretty hellish with children not sleeping at all and lots going wrong. On this last day, my Labrador tried to attack another dog, knocked over my 2 year old child while doing it and I lost it. I smacked him and shouted at him. It was kind of the last straw. Two women passing by stopped and had a go at me, saying I should never treat an animal like that. My husband told them to back off. He later said that he saw the one crying on the other’s shoulder (they looked like grown up mother and daughter) so they were clearly very upset by the incident. If this was YOU, or you know who this was, then I want to say sorry. I’m ashamed at my behaviour. Hoping to get some help for me to deal with my anger and I’ve already booked some specialist dog training to help with that situation.

OP posts:
Boomclaps · 17/07/2020 13:34

@ArriettyJones

Get lost *@Boomclaps*

Treating violence against animals like it’s just a small faux pas isn’t acceptable.

It’s not a small faux pas, it’s a criminal offence and it’s totally unfair on a small innocent dog who is unlikely to clap back.

But she’s not a fuckwit is she. She knows that. That’s why she’s looking at anger management and dog training.
I’m not sure what berating her will actually bring to the table.

I guess you’d like her to suffer maybe, it’s the idea of punishment vs rehabilitation or something maybe? The woman sounds like she’s tortured herself for bloody days.
She’s clearly quite distressed and has taken steps to move her ways of coping away from this behaviour. She needs to keep going and turn things around & for that I wish her all the best

WorraLiberty · 17/07/2020 13:34

@labyrinthloafer

Well done for getting some help, I would maybe consider asking MN to delete your thread as you may get a very hard time and it may not be helpful.
The OP's not new and obviously knows what she's doing by posting this in AIBU of all places.

There'll be more froth than a pint of cappuccino.

And yet the chances of the intended recipients actually reading it are close to zero.

BertiesLanding · 17/07/2020 13:37

Dog threads do tend to bring out some of the most vitriolic responses in some posters, which I find ironic given the OP.

@flowergirl24, if a part of you posted on here to get a pasting, then that's what you're going to get. But you made a mistake, you feel awful. There's no point in feeling worse. Get yourself off this thread if you're still reading, if only to preserve your sanity.

KeepingPlain · 17/07/2020 13:37

Least you're getting help op. Seen many posts on FB about people's dogs attacking others, while the owners just walk away or watch and do nothing.

@Lockheart my cat does the same thing, he's a bloody weirdo too. Grin

ArriettyJones · 17/07/2020 13:38

The woman sounds like she’s tortured herself for bloody days.

Oh please. Do you think she’s really posting here in the expectation some random dog-loving women In Crediton or wherever will read it? As @WorraLiberty says, SM media would be better for that.

No, she’s posting to be told that it’s just FINE to hit DC & animals, everybody does it, forget all about it...

DibDibDibduh · 17/07/2020 13:39

You should be ashamed but I'm glad it's been the wake up call you needed

CaMePlaitPas · 17/07/2020 13:40

If a dog went for my two year old I'd smack it on the nose too.

Letmegetthisrightasawoman · 17/07/2020 13:40

I wish the person walking the dog that bit me twice earlier this week had smacked it rather than being completely clueless and not even reprimanding the dog. Just sayin'...

OP, we all have shit days. You know you don't normally hit your dog and that you're not a horrible person deep down. You've taken action to prevent this from happening again.

PP saying it's a criminal offence need to calm down. Technically, so is a dog being dangerously out of control, which the OP was trying to put a stop to. And even if it was a criminal offence and was reported to the police, there's a fair chance it would be resolved without formal penalties through a community resolution.

OP, I have a feeling you may have posted here because you feel you need to atone. You don't. Try to move on. The chances of these women reading the thread are slim to zero.

Itsnotalwaysme · 17/07/2020 13:40

Knowing you've done wrong and making steps not to repeat it is all anyone can do. Good luck Flowers

Rwoolley · 17/07/2020 13:41

Why are you posting this on AIBU

To find a person who was in Devon Hmm

Rwoolley · 17/07/2020 13:41

Why are you posting this on AIBU

To find a person who was in Devon Hmm

Lockheart · 17/07/2020 13:43

@Boomclaps smacking a dog is not a criminal offence unless you're hitting them hard enough to cause longer term damage. Just like smacking children.

Whydidyouask · 17/07/2020 13:43

If my lab attacked another dog and knocked over a small child I’d definitely give it a wallop too. My dogs are my world and spoilt rotten but under no circumstance would allow my dog to behave in that way without consequence. I’m quite sure the dog was in no way hurt and will not be scarred for life either.
As for the women ‘interfering’ - wouldn’t it have been better for them walk past rather than inflame an already difficult situation with their opinions. As for the crying in the shoulder - seriously grow the f up.
Ignore all the dramatic posts op. You don’t need anger management, shit happens.

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 17/07/2020 13:44

He later said that he saw the one crying on the other’s shoulder (they looked like grown up mother and daughter) so they were clearly very upset by the incident.

Jesus, how hard did you hit the dog?

jessstan2 · 17/07/2020 13:45

Put it behind you now, flowergirl, as you plan to take steps to avoid such a situation in future.

PerfectPenquins · 17/07/2020 13:45

Oh please, crying? she sounds dramatic AF! She had her say and was told to butt out. That's the risk you take when reprimanding strangers, not a need for crying ffs. The dog was trying to attack another dog and knocked over a toddler in the process, that's incredibly stressful. If i was the other dogs owner I would appreciate you doing something rather than the usual minimising BS some dog owners do. Your clearly very sorry and that's the difference, stop beating yourself up over it, its done now don't let it upset you further.

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 17/07/2020 13:46

If a dog went for my two year old I'd smack it on the nose too.

That's not what happened.

frog22 · 17/07/2020 13:46

Well done for recognising the problem and getting help. It's nice of you to think of how these women must have felt after the incident. It just goes to show that you don't know what is going on with other people when you try to step onto a situation. It sounds like you have a supportive husband too who has your back. I wish you well x

KarenMcKaren · 17/07/2020 13:47

If my dog had attacked another animal and knocked over a baby he’d have had my size 5’s up his arse

Yep.

Gwenhwyfar · 17/07/2020 13:47

"The husband was being loyal, maybe scared of a pasting..."

One thing I can't stand is male partners who intervene in an argument between two women when the other woman doesn't have a man there to defend her. It's a real bully thing to do.

Boomclaps · 17/07/2020 13:47

[quote Lockheart]@Boomclaps smacking a dog is not a criminal offence unless you're hitting them hard enough to cause longer term damage. Just like smacking children.[/quote]
Sorry my apologies

BoomyBooms · 17/07/2020 13:48

You didn't need to hit your dog. Shouting in a moment of frustration I can understand, but shouting at your dog and hitting him is awful. Those poor women. Must have been bad for them to be so upset as to cry. Posting here isn't going to help you.

Abhannmor · 17/07/2020 13:48

It was an instinctive reaction in defence of your son. And you regretted it. Nobody is perfect. Not even these sanctimonious people criticising your behaviour. Well done for the anger management idea.

SoupDragon · 17/07/2020 13:50

she’s posting to be told that it’s just FINE to hit DC & animals

Why are you accusing her of hitting children?

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 17/07/2020 13:51

Is this the first time you've hit your dog, OP? Only I thought labs were peaceful soppy dogs not generally known for attacking other dogs.

Glad you're going to get help with your anger management.