To think my friend is damaging her DD?

[wineandfajitas]

My friend has a 7 year old DD, she is a single mum and we are very close, we see each other every day so I spend a lot of time with her and her DD.

They seem to have a really, for lack of a better word, banterish relationship. They are always bantering with each other and it's just nothing I've ever seen before.

My friend does discipline her DD if necessary and she seems to respect her. She is a good mum in all other ways but it's just this constant banter. I find it strange.

Her DD is only 7 and already very sarcastic and uses insults as humour. They seem to just take the piss out of each other and play fight for fun. She does kiss and hug her daughter and tell her she loves her but 70 percent of their relationship is just constant banter as if they're friends.

AIBU to think this may affect her DD in later life and that it isn't normal?

The examples you give are all completely normal. If you feel like that about your friend and her DD, just as well you will never be visiting my household. We are very sarcastic with a dry sense of humour, always poking fund at each other. We love toilet humour!

My kids are also perfectly capable of being polite and able to communicate with others.

I really don't get your issue.

No she isn't damaging her child.

It sounds like they have a great relationship.

Go to nspcc site to read examples of neglect and harm. You maybe need a little perspective.

It sounds absolutely fine to me, completely normal parenting. Child knows that you interact differently with different people. Child is learning to take a few knocks in life and get back up again. All good stuff. There are a lot of different ways of raising good kids.

Can't trust anyone these days.. as someone else said I don't think your friend would appreciate what you are saying. Also that banter sounds normal to me..

@Embracelife good advice.

Honestly I think you sound like a nut job! Why are you so invested in what someone else is doing when you don't even have kids?
Your friend needs to dump you!

Oh god don't say anything, seriously nothing wrong with anything you've said

It sounds very weird.

@ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble

Or if her DD falls and is crying, my friend just says, "shake it off, you're fine" rather than give her a cuddle unless she has really hurt herself or banged her head etc.

Meh I used to shout in the playground "DD if you kill yourself it's not my fault!".

She also sleeps in my bed every weekend , we have plenty of cuddles and she knows if something is really wrong I'll fix it and I've got her back.

My mum used to shout "don't come running to me if you break your leg"

@022828MAN

It's sounds positive. I'd much rather my DD grow up sarcastic and able to take an insult than the fragile, offended victims that are being raised by most people nowadays.

I agree

Yup, reverse. Fess up, OP.

Your friend's relationship with her dd is pretty much exactly the same way I brought up mine.

Sounds like she’s doing a perfect job.

The ‘banter’ helps kids not take themselves too seriously. They have a crude sense of humour at that age and it shows them they can share it with you. My girls at 7+ are sassy AF. Joining in with them helps them read the room and see where the boundaries are.

The child that has a lent that intervenes in a playground spat will never learn how to resolve things themselves and they have trouble making and keeping friends. When they get to school they have to learn quickly how diffuse situations by themselves and you have to go back that up at home. If you make a fuss when they hurt themselves, they will make a bigger diss and before you know it you’re in A&E because you think they’ve broken their leg when actually they scratched themselves. Keeping them calm means you can observe them and a parent knows when it’s serious, believe me, you just know.

Honestly OP, come back when you have your own kids, it doesn’t sound like you have a clue yet.

REVERSE!

I’ve never before read a post where it was so blatantly obvious the OP doesn’t have children. Perfectly normal and lovely sounding mother daughter relationship. You sound like hard work and you might need to lighten up if you do have your own children

At this point you should just say it’s a reverse even if it’s not just to save face 😂

BUT YES OBVIOUSLY THIS IS A REVERESE. Good job OP, keep it up

I’d be less embarrassed if I could do a post without typos...

I think you are being ridiculous. It sounds like the mum and daughter have a beautiful, fun relationship.

My children and I always have banter, as you call it. They often call me silly names. It is always taken as a joke and never meant hurtfully. They would also never behave like this at school for example. Only in a safe space where they know it is okay to joke around.

ihatelockdown, that's a bit harsh. There are many things you don't know or understand until you had children yourself. I believe OP truly cares for her friend and her dd, And this thread must have made her aware that her parenting is very normal and nothing to be concerned.

@Dhalandchips

I live in a house full of bum faces and farty arses. I reckon they'll turn out fine!

We regularly make up insulting names for the entire family. One camping holiday we had chicken chub and stinky head. The funnier the better. I did have to teach eldest dd when she first started nursery 10 years ago not to call her teacher bumhead 'bye bye bumhead' but after we had the chat about home v school it's all been good!! Plus it makes for an hilarious dinner story.

Anyway, I'm almost suspecting this thread is a reverse judging by the OP updates!! 😂

OP - you are being incredibly precious.

Come on OP, come back to confess, and we'll all slag off your uptight friend with you 😂

She sounds mostly great to me. Playful and loving, encouraging independence, they sound close and like they like spending time together. Being strict or serious about everything doesn't make children respect you. The quality of your relationship with your child based on the investment you put into them and yes, setting boundaries where they need to be set, will.

Oh just read the rest of the thread. I'm obviously not the only one!