To ask people to show a little more understanding to those not wearing masks

[Fuckinellitsme]

Apologies for another mask thread.

First of all, I'm not an 'anti masker', I absolutely see the need and the importance of wearing them. I'm unable to wear one myself - I have trigeminal neuralgia and when I've tried to wear one, the resulting attack has left me bedbound for days. I want to wear one, but I can't. I also have rheumatoid arthritis so I'm incredibly grateful to all the people who do wear masks, therefore protecting others and especially those in higher risk groups (though not vulnerable enough to be shielding) like me.

However. I've seen some truly awful comments on here in the last few days directed at those who don't wear masks. We should be treated like lepers if we enter a shop without one, for example, or should be banned from them outright. And we ought to stay at home if we are exempt, not use public transport or go shopping or go to work. We have 'made up' health issues and disabilities and are 'woe is me' 'snowflakes'. I've also encountered bus passengers passing comment and tutting about my lack of mask.

Those of us who can't wear a mask (and are acting within the law/guidelines, being exempt) still need to go about our business. It would be lovely if we could do so without fear of comment or judgement. I understand that there will be those who don't wear a mask because they just don't want to - however, please, if you see someone without a mask (particularly if they're wearing a sunflower/exempt lanyard) try to be understanding and give them the benefit of the doubt.

The nastiness and ableist comments on here (and elsewhere) in the past few days have been genuinely upsetting for those of us unable to wear masks. Please don't assume we're all stupid/selfish/conspiracy theorists/don't care about your health, or that it's a choice. For many, choice doesn't come into it.

A bit of empathy goes a long way, especially in these weird times.

I echo what @Drivingdownthe101 said. Why the hell are you being so hostile toward the OP? She didn’t say you were exactly the same, she said there were some similarities, which from what you’ve posted seems to be the case. She’s trying to be kind to you. What is your problem?

@Drivingdownthe101

Hearhoovesthinkzebras the OP is going out of her way to empathise with you and to be kind, and all you can respond with is bile and your usual ‘me me me’ attitude. It’s sad to read.

So repeatedly telling me that I have an illness that I don't have is showing empathy is it?

Refusing to be corrected despite me doing it multiple times is being empathetic?

How is that showing empathy? I think I might know what medical condition I have better than the op. Why is it being empathetic to simply disregard me when I correct her mislabeling.of my condition? I live with it every day. I think I might know what I have

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras

Sorry, I thought you said you did. I've just seen you have inflammatory arthritis, which is quite similar - is yours systemic? RA causes inflammation in the heart, brain, connective tissue etc, does yours affect you similarly?

I have enteropathic arthritis. That is an inflammatory arthritis. It is not rheumatoid arthritis.

Rheumatoid arthritis is an inflammatory arthritis but they are not one and the same disease. The effects of each are different. The treatments are different.

No, my heart condition is not caused by arthritis. I had a massive GI bleed last year, at work, due to Crohn's disease. That caused damage to my heart and heart failure. It is not caused by enteropathic arthritis because enteropathic arthritis is not rheumatoid arthritis. They are different illnesses.

Thank you for explaining. I'm so sorry that you're suffering so much

@whattimeisitrightnow

I echo what *@Drivingdownthe101* said. Why the hell are you being so hostile toward the OP? She didn’t say you were exactly the same, she said there were some similarities, which from what you’ve posted seems to be the case. She’s trying to be kind to you. What is your problem?

You’ve obviously never had the pleasure of being in discussions with Hooves before. 🤣

Hearhoovesthinkzebras she’s trying to say that she also has awful health conditions and that she empathises with you. You’re being vile.

*So repeatedly telling me that I have an illness that I don't have is showing empathy is it?

Refusing to be corrected despite me doing it multiple times is being empathetic?*

That’s not in any way what happened. Lying about previous posts is pointless, because everyone here is able to read.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras you ok hun ?

That’s not in any way what happened. Lying about previous posts is pointless, because everyone here is able to read

Well exactly. We’re all reading the same thread, and we can all see that that’s not what has happened.
Maybe time to step away from the computer?

Hearhooves you are one of the most entitled and self centred posters on MN and given the competition that’s quite some accolade.

@Stellakent

Hooves the chance of catching Covid at the moment is very very low. This is your opportunity to go out, or wait until 1 Aug if you prefer, but honestly, the infection rate is so low at the moment that you should take the opportunity for fresh air and to get out in to the world. And I'm saying this with kindness, I hope you don't take it the wrong way.

I am going out for walks. I'm.not going into shops, or any other indoor space apart from hospital.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras You said' You clearly have no.understanding of other conditions and how they affect people.'

That's exactly the point people who cannot wear a mask keep trying to make to you, and to many other posters on these threads. Maybe think about that for a bit.

I haven't disregarded you, I've tried to understand and now you've explained your condition it's much clearer to me.

All I was saying is that we have some similar conditions and are on some similar (not the same) drugs to treat some of them, and that I understand how debilitating these conditions (and drug side effects) are.

My last post was to @Hearhoovesthinkzebras

Yes, of course people should wear a mask on public transport and in supermarkets where it's impossible to maintain 2m. It's pretty pointless when you're going into a shop where you're the only customer in there and social distancing can be observed. I meant to say should say wear masks if they're able to.

I'm not claiming to know better than you about your medical conditions. I'm saying that we both have a form of inflammatory arthritis, and we're both on anti epilepsy drugs (Tegretol is used to reduce seizures associated with epilepsy primarily and is also used for TN seizures. Tegretol is an anti epileptic drug, and you said you were on an anti epileptic drug). I assume that you are on immunosuppressants for your IA, as that's standard treatment for that condition.

You've repeatedly said that we have the same joint condition and that we both have rheumatoid arthritis. I've said multiple times that is not correct and yet you just kept reiterating that we both have rheumatoid arthritis. We don't.

I don't take tegretol. There are other anti epileptics used to treat nerve pain. They are all different and all have different side effects.

Same goes for immunosuppressants. You take a particular kind. That doesn't mean that you take the same as me. I take one for Crohn's disease and one for enteropathic arthritis.

There are different illnesses and different drugs. We have different illnesses and take different medications to treat those illnesses. I would not presume to tell you about what you take or the effects of your illness on you so please, I ask that you don't keep.insisting that you know better than me about my illness or my medication or the effects that they have on me.

@whattimeisitrightnow

I echo what *@Drivingdownthe101* said. Why the hell are you being so hostile toward the OP? She didn’t say you were exactly the same, she said there were some similarities, which from what you’ve posted seems to be the case. She’s trying to be kind to you. What is your problem?

She really didn't. She said multiple times that we have the same illness and that I have rheumatoid arthritis, which she has.

I.dont. We don't have the same illness at all.

I simply wanted her to stop telling me that she knows better than I do what condition I have. Rather than accept my correction she just kept reiterating it.

@Fuckinellitsme

I haven't disregarded you, I've tried to understand and now you've explained your condition it's much clearer to me.

All I was saying is that we have some similar conditions and are on some similar (not the same) drugs to treat some of them, and that I understand how debilitating these conditions (and drug side effects) are.

But that really isn't what you said.

You said we have the same condition. I said we don't.

Then you said we both have rheumatoid arthritis. I said we don't.

But then you ignored that and kept going with the "we have the same illness, we take the same immunosuppressants" no, we don't.

You are presuming to know about my illnesses based on what you have and you were ignoring me every time I tried to correct you.

I simply wanted her to stop telling me that she knows better than I do what condition I have. Rather than accept my correction she just kept reiterating it.

So what, she made a mistake. She's still being polite to you and apologised. I wouldn't have bothered personally. Not with the sanctimonious entitled attitude you have towards everyone else. The world doesn't centre around you.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras

I'm not claiming to know better than you about your medical conditions. I'm saying that we both have a form of inflammatory arthritis, and we're both on anti epilepsy drugs (Tegretol is used to reduce seizures associated with epilepsy primarily and is also used for TN seizures. Tegretol is an anti epileptic drug, and you said you were on an anti epileptic drug). I assume that you are on immunosuppressants for your IA, as that's standard treatment for that condition.

You've repeatedly said that we have the same joint condition and that we both have rheumatoid arthritis. I've said multiple times that is not correct and yet you just kept reiterating that we both have rheumatoid arthritis. We don't.

I don't take tegretol. There are other anti epileptics used to treat nerve pain. They are all different and all have different side effects.

Same goes for immunosuppressants. You take a particular kind. That doesn't mean that you take the same as me. I take one for Crohn's disease and one for enteropathic arthritis.

There are different illnesses and different drugs. We have different illnesses and take different medications to treat those illnesses. I would not presume to tell you about what you take or the effects of your illness on you so please, I ask that you don't keep.insisting that you know better than me about my illness or my medication or the effects that they have on me.

I did not say we were on the same drugs. I said we are both taking anti epilepsy drugs, and that you may be on a form of immunosuppressant to treat your IA as that it the standard treatment for that condition. I have apologised for the RA mistake and have acknowledged several times that I understand that you don't have RA. I haven't assumed what the effects of your illness/meds are either - I've just said that due to the fact we are probably on similar medication and our conditions have some similarities, I understand how awful living with both can be. Of course I don't know better than you about how your conditions affect your life - but I can empathise with how shit it is to live with several chronic conditions and the side effects of meds which can often be as debilitating as the illnesses.

We’ve all read the thread Hearhoovesthinkzebras. Whatever spin you put on what the OP has said to you, she is coming across far better than you are.

I have never said we're on the same immunosuppressants, @Hearhoovesthinkzebras. How could I have when I don't know which ones you're taking?

@KarenMcKaren

I simply wanted her to stop telling me that she knows better than I do what condition I have. Rather than accept my correction she just kept reiterating it.

So what, she made a mistake. She's still being polite to you and apologised. I wouldn't have bothered personally. Not with the sanctimonious entitled attitude you have towards everyone else. The world doesn't centre around you.

It really isn't being polite to keep telling someone that they have an illness that they don't have and that you know how that illness (that they don't have) affects them.

It's a metaphorical, paternalistic "there, there" pat on the head.

I thought Hearhooves and Fuckinell (OP) both had Ehlers-Danlos and that was what OP was referring to.

I also have Ehlers Danlos syndrome so am in the bendy club.

There are many types of inflammatory arthritis and they are all autoimmune diseases to the best of my knowledge and many have similar symptoms and similar drugs to treat.

I have suspected psoriatic arthritis which I would consider to be very similar to rheumatoid arthritis for example. Obviously some are less similar than others but I think the OP mistakenly thought Hooves had RA too, or something like PsA which would have similar symptoms to RA.

@Fuckinellitsme you have my admiration for the way have dealt with this thread, as well as for dealing with what sounds like a horrible condition. 💐

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras I have apologised several times for the RA misunderstanding. I do stand by my statement that I sympathize with you for having IA and I understand how awful it is - I was given an IA diagnosis originally so it's safe to say that our conditions do have parallels. I'm sorry if you felt I was being condescending but please, let's just move on. While not in exactly the same boat we're clearly navigating (at least vaguely) similar seas