To ask people to show a little more understanding to those not wearing masks

[Fuckinellitsme]

Apologies for another mask thread.

First of all, I'm not an 'anti masker', I absolutely see the need and the importance of wearing them. I'm unable to wear one myself - I have trigeminal neuralgia and when I've tried to wear one, the resulting attack has left me bedbound for days. I want to wear one, but I can't. I also have rheumatoid arthritis so I'm incredibly grateful to all the people who do wear masks, therefore protecting others and especially those in higher risk groups (though not vulnerable enough to be shielding) like me.

However. I've seen some truly awful comments on here in the last few days directed at those who don't wear masks. We should be treated like lepers if we enter a shop without one, for example, or should be banned from them outright. And we ought to stay at home if we are exempt, not use public transport or go shopping or go to work. We have 'made up' health issues and disabilities and are 'woe is me' 'snowflakes'. I've also encountered bus passengers passing comment and tutting about my lack of mask.

Those of us who can't wear a mask (and are acting within the law/guidelines, being exempt) still need to go about our business. It would be lovely if we could do so without fear of comment or judgement. I understand that there will be those who don't wear a mask because they just don't want to - however, please, if you see someone without a mask (particularly if they're wearing a sunflower/exempt lanyard) try to be understanding and give them the benefit of the doubt.

The nastiness and ableist comments on here (and elsewhere) in the past few days have been genuinely upsetting for those of us unable to wear masks. Please don't assume we're all stupid/selfish/conspiracy theorists/don't care about your health, or that it's a choice. For many, choice doesn't come into it.

A bit of empathy goes a long way, especially in these weird times.

[Topseyt]

I do agree though that you needed to explain trigeminal neuralgia. People won't just know what it is and will therefore continue to spew their judgemental bullshit in ignorance (because they can't even be arsed to do a quick Google).

You'll still get the arses commenting though.

[Hearhoovesthinkzebras]

There's a conflict of rights then isn't there? Those who have conditions that make them very vulnerable to Covid have the right to be protected whilst using public transport or at work. Wonder how that one is balanced out?

[PablosHoney]

I take it you mean socially unacceptable?

[Fuckinellitsme]

@Lweji thank you! Yes I should have explained. It's often referred to as the suicide disease because the pain is so excruciating, that's what many sufferers consider (and in some cases resort to). I can have thousands of attacks a day when it's especially active. It can come on without warning after weeks, months or years in remission and the lightest of pressure/touch can set it off. It's treated with anti epilepsy drugs which over time lose their efficacy, and the treatment when that happens is brain surgery. It always gets worse over time and never goes away in its own - even after surgery it will eventually return.

[puffinkoala]

It seems like on MN almost every person has a special need /issue that exempts them from wearing a mask. How do you think the rest of the world is coping with the exact same issues /needs

This has been my view all along. I don't believe that the British are physiologically different from any other human being on this planet, and the special needs rate here can't be any higher.

If you genuinely have a condition, get a letter from your GP. I do agree that if you have a genuine exemption there should be an easy way of proving it, like a blue badge for parking.

Otherwise, either buy online/drive instead of high street shopping/using public transport or comply. No doubt many of those complaining will magically be able to wear a mask for the hairdresser (as required by hairdressers) because they want to have their hair done.

I don't think this will be for a short time, so a solution needs to be found for those with genuine difficulties.

[Mintjulia]

OP, yes you are right, people are way too judgey and interfering.

As long as everyone behaves responsibly, social distancing appropriately and aware of the concerns of those around them, there is no need for nastiness. At all.

[Lweji]

Your OP was directed at pps here, not people in shops.

I haven't really seen pps attacking people who can't wear masks.
The nastier comments are directed at people who say they don't want to wear a mask just because and out of defiance. Yes, pps have said as much.
Those are the ones attracting the selfish bastard comments.
Not people who genuinely can't wear masks.

Just remember to keep your distance when out and about.
If possible choose shops when there are the least people and large ones or with good ventilation.
You'll be protecting yourself and others.

[crumpet]

Unfortunately there are too many people who are treating the requirement to wear a mask as a severe breach of their human rights, or who are bleating loudly about how mean it all is and that the masks are all a bit too hot and stuffy.

Which makes it very difficult for those who cannot wear a mask for legitimate medical reasons.

[Fuckinellitsme]

@NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite

If those with health conditions who cannot wear face coverings/masks are going to go into shops then I think it would be preferable for doctors to issue exemption certificates for them.

However, as face coverings/masks are worn to protect others, and people can contract Covid-19 and be asymptomatic, it leaves me wondering whether those who can't wear them, don't care about protecting the rest of us. if I was unable to wear a face covering/mask, because of a health condition, I would not go into shops to try and do my bit to protect others.

Why does it make you wonder whether it not we care about others? Of course we do. Unfortunately we have to balance that with the need to go to work/shop/live. Please don't judge us so harshly.

[RedtreesRedtrees]

I’m afraid it’s going to be tough on those who would be willing to wear a mask but can’t for legitimate reasons. The self imposed COVID enforcers will be out in force making life a misery.

[Ohtherewearethen]

@PablosHoney - ha! Yes, thank you!

[MsEllany]

Where is this coming from? Social media and Mumsnet. Because everywhere I have been out lately maybe 1 in 100 people have been wearing masks.

Stay away from threads about wearing masks if it upsets you. You know people express strong opinions online, so look after your mental health by not reading them.

This is exactly the same as when there is an anti-vax thread, some furious upset mother will come on with a tirade about how her child ain’t vaccinated because of completely legitimate medical reasons. which means in that case and in this that it’s not directed at you!

I really am genuinely sorry you’re in pain and upset but this isn’t about you.

[Hearhoovesthinkzebras]

amp-theguardian-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/jul/15/covid-19-nurses-not-wearing-masks-led-to-ae-closure-inquiry-finds?amp_js_v=a3&amp_gsa=1&usqp=mq331AQFKAGwASA%3D#aoh=15948035229749&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&amp_tf=From%20%251%24s&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theguardian.com%2Fuk-news%2F2020%2Fjul%2F15%2Fcovid-19-nurses-not-wearing-masks-led-to-ae-closure-inquiry-finds

Reports like this show how one asymptomatic person can infect multiple other people.

[Fuckinellitsme]

@Ohtherewearethen it's not the same as smoking. People choose to smoke; those unable to wear a mask do not choose to not wear a mask.

@puffinkoala buying online is fine - but you can't attend hospital appointments online, and people need to get to work, often on public transport. We can't simply not leave the house until a vaccine is found, it's not possible. And no, those unable to wear a mask will not suddenly be able to at the hairdresser's (I cut my own hair).

[blurpityblurp]

You are as much risk as anybody else of passing the virus on.

Well, no. Everyone’s individual risk-level is different, depending on a million different lifestyle factors. A nurse in a COVID ward has a substantially higher risk than a disabled person who only leaves their house once a month to go shopping.

That’s why it’s important to have a balanced and nuanced debate and to educate people about all the different ways to manage risk, and that includes things like social distancing and excellent hygiene.

People are acting like masks are some kind of magical talisman, where simply possessing a piece of fabric makes you immune. Don’t get me wrong, masks are great. Masks are very important in combatting this pandemic. But they need to be worn correctly and as only one element in the fight against COVID. And by worn correctly I’m not talking about people wearing them on their chins, I’m talking about things like not touching them, changing them frequently, changing them if you sneeze. I see people cart the same filthy mask around, touch it, handle it, take it on and off repeatedly, wear the same mask all day. That isn’t very beneficial. Yet people think they’re magically immune and so they don’t bother with other necessary things like social distancing and hand washing.

The flip side to the “a mask makes me immune” is that some people have started acting like anyone without a mask is a guaranteed infector. When that person might be taking many other steps to ameliorate risk to themselves and others.

[RufustheRowlingReindeer]

I agree OP...though i do think a lot of people will just take the mick

There was something on the news asking who was going to police this, and the MP said ‘the public’

Some people were horrendous over lockdown with their curtain twitching and judging, they’ll be as happy as larry over this

[Fuckinellitsme]

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras I know - which is why I would love to be able to wear a mask.

[Thehop]

No! I don’t.

I really struggle with a mask. I have very severe asthma. So. I go to work and I come home and I shop online. I spend some time every day wearing it until I get used to it so I can go out and about once I can tolerate it for long enough. It’s just tough, we have to at least try. Or stay in.

[Notonthestairs]

I have a family member with your condition - like dozens of hidden disabilities, their condition wont be immediately obvious to bystanders.

my hope is that those that can wear a mask will - and this is the majority - and leave those who can't alone, even if that means those that won't rather than can't are free to shop merrily.

I certainly won't be calling anyone out for not wearing one.

[blurpityblurp]

And MN tends to skew pretty anti-mask (at least it has lately) so there’s not too much mask shaming here. But on Twitter and especially Buzzfeed weirdly there’s a lot of abuse specifically targeted towards disabled people and those with severe breathing conditions. There’s one poster on another forum who claims to be a respiratory doctor who keeps posting that she’d refuse to treat any patient admitted to the Emergency Room (like in the middle of a bad asthma attack) if they weren’t wearing a mask. There are a lot of nakedly ableist comments on social media trying to scapegoat disabled people. When disabled people are not the problem.

[Hearhoovesthinkzebras]

[quote Fuckinellitsme]@Hearhoovesthinkzebras I know - which is why I would love to be able to wear a mask.[/quote]
But the fact that you can't does mean that you put others at risk were you to have it.

You say that you need to attend hospital appointments, go on public transport, go to work - yes and so do I. I'm also shielding and would be extremely vulnerable were I to catch it. How are both of our needs met when they directly conflict?

[Fuckinellitsme]

There seems to be a misconception that GPs are writing exemption notes - they're not. Not that they'd be much use when you're tutted at on the bus or whatever - showing a stranger a doctor's note detailing a condition hardly anyone has heard of won't be a lot of use!

The government has said that proof isn't required. I suppose if I'm stopped by a police officer it might be useful, or I would have to provide proof at a later date. But generally, to go into shops or use transport, no proof is needed. Just as well - the NHS has enough on its plate without having to write millions of exemption letters.

[Rhine]

I’ve not seen anyone on here say people who can’t wear masks are just making up their health conditions. Nor have I seen them called ‘snowflakes’. I have seen a lot of anger directed of people who just don’t want to wear them though.

Personally if I had an autoimmune condition I wouldn’t be getting on public transport at all. Nor would I be visiting shops and supermarkets at busy times. But that’s just me.

[Hearhoovesthinkzebras]

There are a lot of nakedly ableist comments on social media trying to scapegoat disabled people.

As there have been on MN throughout this pandemic - we are all about to die anyway so should just stay at home if we're vulnerable being amongst the most common.

[NotShiny]

"How do you think the rest of the world is coping with the exact same issues /needs?"

Believe it or not there are also exemptions for people with medical reasons not to, in other Countries too. It's not the case that all the people with medical exemptions here are any different from elsewhere. Why do you think they should be treated badly here and made to suffer, when they arent anywhere else? There is another thread on here yesterday slagging off people with disabilities, saying "in Spain we all wear them"...then it showed the usage on bbc, and in Spain only 54 % of people wear them.


"Stay at home then if you cannot comply. "
That is really rude and disablist.

"Kids here are wearing masks from 3yo for a full day."

So what, here they dont have to under the age of 11.