To ask people to show a little more understanding to those not wearing masks

[Fuckinellitsme]

Apologies for another mask thread.

First of all, I'm not an 'anti masker', I absolutely see the need and the importance of wearing them. I'm unable to wear one myself - I have trigeminal neuralgia and when I've tried to wear one, the resulting attack has left me bedbound for days. I want to wear one, but I can't. I also have rheumatoid arthritis so I'm incredibly grateful to all the people who do wear masks, therefore protecting others and especially those in higher risk groups (though not vulnerable enough to be shielding) like me.

However. I've seen some truly awful comments on here in the last few days directed at those who don't wear masks. We should be treated like lepers if we enter a shop without one, for example, or should be banned from them outright. And we ought to stay at home if we are exempt, not use public transport or go shopping or go to work. We have 'made up' health issues and disabilities and are 'woe is me' 'snowflakes'. I've also encountered bus passengers passing comment and tutting about my lack of mask.

Those of us who can't wear a mask (and are acting within the law/guidelines, being exempt) still need to go about our business. It would be lovely if we could do so without fear of comment or judgement. I understand that there will be those who don't wear a mask because they just don't want to - however, please, if you see someone without a mask (particularly if they're wearing a sunflower/exempt lanyard) try to be understanding and give them the benefit of the doubt.

The nastiness and ableist comments on here (and elsewhere) in the past few days have been genuinely upsetting for those of us unable to wear masks. Please don't assume we're all stupid/selfish/conspiracy theorists/don't care about your health, or that it's a choice. For many, choice doesn't come into it.

A bit of empathy goes a long way, especially in these weird times.

IrmaFayLear

Sorry, I'm.not disabled????

My drs and the Equality Act would disagree with you.

Do you understand what "disability" means? I have multi joint inflammatory arthritis, I have Crohn's disease, I have a heart condition and I have a connective tissue disorder that causes dysautonomia and joints to dislocate frequently - I think I might be disabled!

We both have rheumatoid arthritis

No, we don't.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras Do you think you could actually write a single post without the use or "I" or "me"?

Give it a try!

It seriously might be a good exercise for you as you seem totally incapable of thinking of others at all. Just yourself.

I understand everyone's conditions affect them differently. I've said that often on this thread to other posters. All I said was that we had some illnesses in common, and are both higher risks.

I'm sorry your conditions aren't currently being managed satisfactorily. That's awful. I understand the strain the NHS are under but it's terrible that you've been left that way.

I had a call from the GP telling me the same thing about hospitalisation at the first sniff of coronavirus. I have regular x-rays and consultant chin-wags.

I don’t go shopping, but I go for walks, went to the garage, and ABOVE ALL I insist my dcs see their friends (at a distance!) because I don’t want to ruin their lives for the sake of meeeeeeeeeeeee.

@Fuckinellitsme

I said 'some similarities', not 'the same'. We both have rheumatoid arthritis and I assume you're on similar immunosuppressant drugs as me. I think you also said upthread that you take medication to prevent seizures - so so I (Tegretol, for my TN). I have been told I'm at high risk from Covid, but I didn't received a shielding letter (I've avoided going out as much as possible though).

You've been very open about your illnesses on this thread and gone into some detail about them and how they limit and affect your life. Because of your accounts I do have an idea about your life and illnesses.

You are making way too many assumptions and you are utterly wrong.

No, we don't both have rheumatoid arthritis.

No we don't take the same immunosuppressants.

No, I don't tegretol. I said I take an anti.epileptic, not tegretol.

You know.very little about my condition or my drug regime so.you are wrong to assume anything.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras

IrmaFayLear

Sorry, I'm.not disabled????

My drs and the Equality Act would disagree with you.

Do you understand what "disability" means? I have multi joint inflammatory arthritis, I have Crohn's disease, I have a heart condition and I have a connective tissue disorder that causes dysautonomia and joints to dislocate frequently - I think I might be disabled!

I have a heart condition and the same joint disorder as you, Zebras. Yes, you're definitely disabled. It's shit, isn't it

if you mean me, I was very involved in the discussion a few pages back, yes I made the sickening comment but it was not a plop

To be fair I regretted the plop comment as soon as i typed it 😀

Its a big thread so I did think that I’d probably missed something

All I said was that we had some illnesses in common, and are both higher risks.

But we don't have I'll esses in common. Where are you getting that from?

PS it has been "allowed" to go out while shielding - they're not legal rules. And yes, absolutely death will come to all of us, it's a fact and it applies to every single of us on earth (but as usual you take a statement personally because everything is all about you in your mind) I have been on the shielding list but have gone out precisely because I know death comes to us all and certainly will be earlier than I would like in my case. I want to live as much as I can while I can!

I won't be wearing a mask while I do so as the reasons behind that have already ruined and reduced so much of my life and I'm going to use what I have left. I you think it's unreasonable may I suggest you don't blame me and call me selfish, you can blame the men that rape and suffocate women and children as they are the reason I (and many others) won't wear a mask. Take it up with them.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras

We both have rheumatoid arthritis

No, we don't.

Sorry, I thought you said you did. I've just seen you have inflammatory arthritis, which is quite similar - is yours systemic? RA causes inflammation in the heart, brain, connective tissue etc, does yours affect you similarly?

YANBU, some people are just vile creatures who cant see beyond the end of their own nose. Some on this post too, who seem emboldened now to display their vile, ableist attitudes.

If you are exempt, you are exempt. You don’t need to have to justify yourself to random strangers, including people on mumsnet. The aim of masks is the same as vaccination everyone who can wear them should, but there will be some who genuinely cannot and this is actually OK.

It’s also not for random people to police, at the Scottish briefing last week NS was very clear on that.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras

All I said was that we had some illnesses in common, and are both higher risks.

But we don't have I'll esses in common. Where are you getting that from?

RA is a form of inflammatory arthritis. You've just said you have a heart condition and we have the same joint condition as me.

@ItsNotJustAboutYou

PS it has been "allowed" to go out while shielding - they're not legal rules. And yes, absolutely death will come to all of us, it's a fact and it applies to every single of us on earth (but as usual you take a statement personally because everything is all about you in your mind) I have been on the shielding list but have gone out precisely because I know death comes to us all and certainly will be earlier than I would like in my case. I want to live as much as I can while I can!

I won't be wearing a mask while I do so as the reasons behind that have already ruined and reduced so much of my life and I'm going to use what I have left. I you think it's unreasonable may I suggest you don't blame me and call me selfish, you can blame the men that rape and suffocate women and children as they are the reason I (and many others) won't wear a mask. Take it up with them.

And before this thread I hadn’t even considered that as a very understandable reason why some women won’t be able to wear a mask. And it’s another reason why unless your job says you need to ask people need to be so careful about questioning strangers about not wearing a mask as the reasons can be very complex and personal.

essentially evaluate whether they're 'disabled enough' to be exempt. Why to people keep referring to those who are unable to safely wear a mask as disabled? I did say there are many reasons why someone may not be able to wear a mask and it's not my place to judge. So I do appreciate that it's not always going to a physical disability and may be due to a past trauma etc. Sorry if that came across clumsily, it was not my intention to be insensitive. My business is based around returning customers, so you get to know people quite well. I really don't want to know possible exemption reasons from them as it feels like a big invasion of privacy.

Hopefuly your small shop gets shut down or people avoid your decision to put money before health. Don't worry, I'm sure the scum (who wore masks) to break into my shop to steal £100k of stock at the start of lockdown will feel emboldened enough to come back during the day (probably when I working alone). The Police were so quick to respond there, I think it took them a month to even bother to send someone round to collect the CCTV. So I'm sure they're going to care about someone refusing to wear a mask and being abusive towards a shop assisstant.

There was also a spate of daytime armed robberies on shops and individuals in my area by masked criminals just prior to lockdown. A colleague got his jaw broken and was so badly beaten he ended up in intensive care. The purpetrators are still at large.

For what it's worth half of my business is still closed and will be for the forseeable future as it involves more than two households interacting in an inside space. Plenty of similar businesses have been looking for work arounds in order to re-open before it's safe. Some are already allowing the mixing of several different households sat 2 feet away from each other. But because they're policing the wearing of masks and taking contact details from everyone then in their mind it's ok. It didn't even cross my mind to do this as it's so clearly against the Government guidelines and unecessarily risky.

Yes, of course people should wear a mask on public transport and in supermarkets where it's impossible to maintain 2m. It's pretty pointless when you're going into a shop where you're the only customer in there and social distancing can be observed.

*you have

Face shield? Not sure how protective they are compared to a mask with filter but better than nothing.

I have a heart condition and the same joint disorder as you, Zebras.

You have rheumatoid arthritis correct?

I don't. How do we have the same joint disorder????

We don't. I don't have rheumatoid arthritis. Why are you insistent that you know better than I do about the medical condition that I have?

You want understanding about your condition that stops you wearing a mask. You don't want anyone to think badly of you for not wearing one, nor ask you why you aren't wearing one yet you are happy to repeatedly insist that you will label someone with the wrong medical condition and ignore them when they correct you? Why? How is that showing the empathy that you expect people to show you?

Hearhoovesthinkzebras the OP is going out of her way to empathise with you and to be kind, and all you can respond with is bile and your usual ‘me me me’ attitude. It’s sad to read.

Lots of people are suffering in all kinds of ways in this pandemic and we just need to cut others some slack and that includes not jumping to conclusions from 24 July if they are not wearing in a shop some kind of face covering.

It is not an easy time for lots of people and it is also making people lash out and be angry often at others who are not to blame for things.

fuck

Your point was that people should think that non mask wearers might have a good reason not to wear a mask

I assume in the same way that i would think that someone has a good reason to use the disabled loo or a blue badge space

Hopefully most of us will comply as most of us complied with lockdown And that will help protect people

OP is going out of her way to empathise with you and to be kind

Yes she is 💐

Sorry, I thought you said you did. I've just seen you have inflammatory arthritis, which is quite similar - is yours systemic? RA causes inflammation in the heart, brain, connective tissue etc, does yours affect you similarly?

I have enteropathic arthritis. That is an inflammatory arthritis. It is not rheumatoid arthritis.

Rheumatoid arthritis is an inflammatory arthritis but they are not one and the same disease. The effects of each are different. The treatments are different.

No, my heart condition is not caused by arthritis. I had a massive GI bleed last year, at work, due to Crohn's disease. That caused damage to my heart and heart failure. It is not caused by enteropathic arthritis because enteropathic arthritis is not rheumatoid arthritis. They are different illnesses.

Hooves the chance of catching Covid at the moment is very very low. This is your opportunity to go out, or wait until 1 Aug if you prefer, but honestly, the infection rate is so low at the moment that you should take the opportunity for fresh air and to get out in to the world. And I'm saying this with kindness, I hope you don't take it the wrong way.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras

I have a heart condition and the same joint disorder as you, Zebras.

You have rheumatoid arthritis correct?

I don't. How do we have the same joint disorder????

We don't. I don't have rheumatoid arthritis. Why are you insistent that you know better than I do about the medical condition that I have?

You want understanding about your condition that stops you wearing a mask. You don't want anyone to think badly of you for not wearing one, nor ask you why you aren't wearing one yet you are happy to repeatedly insist that you will label someone with the wrong medical condition and ignore them when they correct you? Why? How is that showing the empathy that you expect people to show you?

I'm not claiming to know better than you about your medical conditions. I'm saying that we both have a form of inflammatory arthritis, and we're both on anti epilepsy drugs (Tegretol is used to reduce seizures associated with epilepsy primarily and is also used for TN seizures. Tegretol is an anti epileptic drug, and you said you were on an anti epileptic drug). I assume that you are on immunosuppressants for your IA, as that's standard treatment for that condition.

I am listening to you and willing to be corrected. This is a long thread and it's easy to lose track of who said what.