To ask people to show a little more understanding to those not wearing masks

[Fuckinellitsme]

Apologies for another mask thread.

First of all, I'm not an 'anti masker', I absolutely see the need and the importance of wearing them. I'm unable to wear one myself - I have trigeminal neuralgia and when I've tried to wear one, the resulting attack has left me bedbound for days. I want to wear one, but I can't. I also have rheumatoid arthritis so I'm incredibly grateful to all the people who do wear masks, therefore protecting others and especially those in higher risk groups (though not vulnerable enough to be shielding) like me.

However. I've seen some truly awful comments on here in the last few days directed at those who don't wear masks. We should be treated like lepers if we enter a shop without one, for example, or should be banned from them outright. And we ought to stay at home if we are exempt, not use public transport or go shopping or go to work. We have 'made up' health issues and disabilities and are 'woe is me' 'snowflakes'. I've also encountered bus passengers passing comment and tutting about my lack of mask.

Those of us who can't wear a mask (and are acting within the law/guidelines, being exempt) still need to go about our business. It would be lovely if we could do so without fear of comment or judgement. I understand that there will be those who don't wear a mask because they just don't want to - however, please, if you see someone without a mask (particularly if they're wearing a sunflower/exempt lanyard) try to be understanding and give them the benefit of the doubt.

The nastiness and ableist comments on here (and elsewhere) in the past few days have been genuinely upsetting for those of us unable to wear masks. Please don't assume we're all stupid/selfish/conspiracy theorists/don't care about your health, or that it's a choice. For many, choice doesn't come into it.

A bit of empathy goes a long way, especially in these weird times.

Hooves - did you just say “death is a fact of life” is insensitive?

I’m serious. How do you live your life? For example, I didn’t get a TB jag - wasn’t an issue back then, although I’ve been told now to avoid the northern line - or at least not lick the hand-rail on the escalator.

Life assumes risk. Any of its activities.

Why are you SO sure you’d drop dead at a sniff of Covid?

If you are seriously at risk, then yes, you need to adapt your life and NOT live in a big city/work in a supermarket. You can’t demand others permanently change their way of life for you.

I’ll be asking Khan to shit down the tube as it’s riddled with TB. Save ME!

@Mascotte

That won't be allowed as it's discriminatory to disabled people.

I don't think large companies will even try it but I expect some small independent shops will. The average person isn't going to have the time/money/inclination to pursue the matter through legal channels, so those businesses will presumably be happy to lose those customers.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras

I'm too used to swathes of the general public not giving a toss whether what they are doing is dangerous to others. Like the mums who.happily bring their child into a supermarket when they've got chickenpox. It's happened too many times so I know that there will be people in shops who know they have Covid symptoms or who have been told to quarantine and they simply won't care if they give it to others so yes, I am very wary of people who could infect me with something that could kill me.

Maybe it's easy to be more relaxed about it if you don't consider yourself to be at risk from it.

Please don't imagine that those of us who can't wear masks don't give a toss about others.

This is exactly the sort of thinking that prompted me to start this thread. The idea that we're all selfish and ignorant. As a person with significant health issues yourself, you might try to be a little more empathetic and less ableist.

@SockYarn. Well said. You’ve articulated what many of us have been wanting to say.

The constant whingeing, negativity and interpreting the rules to be harsher, more punitive, more uncomfortable . Some people seem to relish misery and want to take everyone down with them.

We have about 3m unemployed and heading for 4m. I suspect supermarket workers' jobs may not be that safe so might not be a good time to make a fuss about which customers staff will serve.

Lost of people in the UK suffer "severe distress" with face masks so currently do not have to wear them on public transport. That is likely to be the case with face masks in shops. There is no guidance on how a policeman will prove how someone is feeling - if they experience severe distress or not although I suppose we could link them up to lie detector machines first without wearing a face covering and then with and see if heart rate goes up, sweating increases and that kind of thing.

@SockYarn. Well said. You’ve articulated what many of us have been wanting to say.

Absolutely.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras we have some similarities, health-wise. We both have an autoimmune disease which puts us at higher risk should we catch certain illnesses and the meds we take lower our immunity so it's easier to catch them. I understand how stressful that is. However I know that I have to live my life as best I can without fear, as fear is as crippling as many diseases. You yourself said that there are steps you take to ensure you cope with your health issues - so do I. I don't lock myself away and I know that I may well come into contact with people with illnesses that are probably harmless to them but could be very unpleasant for me. I wouldn't expect others to stay at home to protect me, or wear a mask if they can't. It's about balance, isn't it. My right to a healthy life doesn't trump anyone else's. And fear makes prisoners of us all.

If you practice good hand hygiene, stay 2m away from others and get your flu jab in the winter (measures to employ with or without Covid), there's not much more you can do. It's impossible to expect never to come into contact with others who may be unwell. You can't control others' actions (and neither should you be able to), only your own. As someone with an autoimmune condition I fully understand that the onus is on me, primarily, to protect myself - it's not on everyone else, who are just getting on with their lives.

@KarenMcKaren

I'm surprised you work in such a public facing job zebra if other people present such a risk to you.

What alternative do you suggest?

Live on fresh air?

There were others in this article who said they wouldn't enforce it, but also this lady.

The requirement is a face covering not a mask, I believe. There are very few who cannot pop a scarf of Buff over their mouth for a few minutes.

For those, there is an exemption but I rather suspect, as it’s not going to be policed, many will ignore the requirements anyway.

There are so many common illnesses which can have very nasty complications for those with our condition, Zebras. What precautions were you taking pre-covid, and will you simply just be able to continue them now?

@CherryPavlova

The requirement is a face covering not a mask, I believe. There are very few who cannot pop a scarf of Buff over their mouth for a few minutes.

For those, there is an exemption but I rather suspect, as it’s not going to be policed, many will ignore the requirements anyway.

There are millions of people with myriad conditions which mean they can't cover their faces. All any of us are asking is that people don't assume we're selfish arses who could if we wanted to.

There have been a few ploppers on here

Theyve just popped on to call some of us ‘sickening’ and im virtually positive i read a ‘some of you are being cunts’

Everyone is entitled to their opinion...but can i just point out That

NO ONE HAS A CLUE WHAT YOU ARE REFERRING TO

@InsaneInTheViralMembrane

Hooves - did you just say “death is a fact of life” is insensitive?

I’m serious. How do you live your life? For example, I didn’t get a TB jag - wasn’t an issue back then, although I’ve been told now to avoid the northern line - or at least not lick the hand-rail on the escalator.

Life assumes risk. Any of its activities.

Why are you SO sure you’d drop dead at a sniff of Covid?

If you are seriously at risk, then yes, you need to adapt your life and NOT live in a big city/work in a supermarket. You can’t demand others permanently change their way of life for you.

I’ll be asking Khan to shit down the tube as it’s riddled with TB. Save ME!

It's insensitive to tell me that I basically just need to accept that I might die now. I'm sick of it being the message dolled out on MN - the only people at risk from Covid are those who would have died within the year anyway ( that is said over and over on multiple threads) so let's all just get back to normal and fuck them. That is what is repeated and has been repeated across multiple threads. Basically the shielded are worthless and should just either stay locked up.or die.

That is the theme on this thread too. How many posters are happy to tell me that I shouldn't be at work? Why not? Why is it ok to discriminate against someone with a disability and say we shouldn't be working but you are all screaming that it's discrimination to ask someone if they have a legitimate reason to not wear a mask?

So, it's discrimination to ask someone for proof of exemption when not wearing a mask, or to.ask someone to use another checkout if they aren't wearing a mask but it's not discrimination to tell.someone that they shouldn't be working because they have a disability?

As a person with significant health issues yourself, you might try to be a little more empathetic and less ableist.

Really? You mean like the empathy I've been shown on this thread? How about you also police the posters that have been ableist towards me? It's ableist to tell a disabled person that they shouldn't be at work isn't it?

OP, I do feel for you. I am very strongly in favour of masks and think the anti-mask sentiment on MN is horrific. BUT I do 100% get that some people quite genuinely can't wear one.

In some countries I believe they're issuing lanyards for those with medical exemptions, so it signals to shop staff, public, etc. Has your dr mentioned anything like this? I've not heard about that here, but would make sense to me.

[quote Fuckinellitsme]@Hearhoovesthinkzebras we have some similarities, health-wise. We both have an autoimmune disease which puts us at higher risk should we catch certain illnesses and the meds we take lower our immunity so it's easier to catch them. I understand how stressful that is. However I know that I have to live my life as best I can without fear, as fear is as crippling as many diseases. You yourself said that there are steps you take to ensure you cope with your health issues - so do I. I don't lock myself away and I know that I may well come into contact with people with illnesses that are probably harmless to them but could be very unpleasant for me. I wouldn't expect others to stay at home to protect me, or wear a mask if they can't. It's about balance, isn't it. My right to a healthy life doesn't trump anyone else's. And fear makes prisoners of us all.

If you practice good hand hygiene, stay 2m away from others and get your flu jab in the winter (measures to employ with or without Covid), there's not much more you can do. It's impossible to expect never to come into contact with others who may be unwell. You can't control others' actions (and neither should you be able to), only your own. As someone with an autoimmune condition I fully understand that the onus is on me, primarily, to protect myself - it's not on everyone else, who are just getting on with their lives.[/quote]
No, we aren't similar.

You aren't shielding. You have not been told you are at extreme risk from Covid. So, no, we aren't similar. We don't take the same medication, if we did you too would be shielding.

You and I are not the same. Our conditions are not the same.

You know you, and that's it. You have no idea about me or my life or my illnesses.

Hooves - I think you probably meant to quote someone else, as your reply didn’t address any of my points.

Feel free to tag me if you do respond and I’ll check later.

Hearhooves, I’m afraid you have gone a little bit mad. You are not disabled, you are more vulnerable to a poor outcome with this virus.

I have what I have gleaned from your posts similar health issues and possibly a bit extra on top. I was driven off the shielding threads with a pitchfork because I tried to offer an alternative voice to the moaning and entitlement of the posters there. Whingeing about food parcels, communication, being told to shield, and then being told to unshield... just no common sense and just me, me, me, me, meeeee ad infinitum.

This whole pandemic is a horrible disaster, but my concern is for my newly-graduated ds and his friends, all of whom have had their planned jobs axed. And my cousin, who has just been made redundant after 30 years in a booming hospitality sector which is now they are told completely fucked.

Seriously did common sense die out at the beginning of this pandemic ?.
It's simple wear a mask unless you have a valid reason why not which could be many many reasons why not and I'm not going to list them and I'm not ignorant or judgmental to decide otherwise if someone said I have a medical reason why I can't wear a mask I'd except it .
Why is there always someone who has to argue otherwise.
My ds for example won't wear one he's severely autistic , but I don't let him come to the shops with me . He will probably go to a shop eventually but he won't be wearing a mask .
If you can't wear a mask I'd hope that maybe try and limit your times you go out to shops , if someone else can shop for you do it .

OP - it can be people’s business if the govt say it.

People would not want a surgeon operating on them without a facemask - regardless if they have asthma, trigeminal neuralgia etc. Medical professionals at certain points are asked about antibodies to certain viruses/proof of vaccination. Even chest x rays if they have lived in a place where tb has a higher prevalence. Pilots have to pass medicals. During Ebola there was temperature screening at airports for arrivals from certain places. People have not allowed me to buy alcohol because My boyfriend could not produce a proof of age (though I could).

I would say that it would be sensible to have exemption certificates because of the number of people who would not take facemasks seriously.

On balance I feel that in many cases there are ways around going indoors for those who do not have a medical issue. But something like a day or 2 for these people to do things (and people at high risk to stay indoors) would also be good.

But is an opinion and up to the govt to enforce. But as with many things sounds like govt have not got a joined up policy.

RufustheRowlingReindeer if you mean me, I was very involved in the discussion a few pages back, yes I made the sickening comment but it was not a plop.

Zebra good going flinging OPs empathy back in her face, while emphasising that NO-ONE has it as hard as you.

I said 'some similarities', not 'the same'. We both have rheumatoid arthritis and I assume you're on similar immunosuppressant drugs as me. I think you also said upthread that you take medication to prevent seizures - so so I (Tegretol, for my TN). I have been told I'm at high risk from Covid, but I didn't received a shielding letter (I've avoided going out as much as possible though).

You've been very open about your illnesses on this thread and gone into some detail about them and how they limit and affect your life. Because of your accounts I do have an idea about your life and illnesses.

@Fuckinellitsme

There are so many common illnesses which can have very nasty complications for those with our condition, Zebras. What precautions were you taking pre-covid, and will you simply just be able to continue them now?

We don't have the same condition. Do you have Crohn's disease? No. Therefore we don't have the same condition, nor the same medication, nor the same risks.

You manage your illness. You have no idea nor understanding of mine.

Do you work? It would be much easier to manage my illness if I could lock myself away at home but I don't because I need to work.

Yes, ordinarily I manage my risks because there are treatments available for the illnesses that I might have been exposed to. There are vaccinations available to lessen risks. Funnily enough I've never been exposed to a novel virus, causing a global pandemic, for which there is no treatment and no vaccination. My ability to oxygenate is already compromised. My drs have said I would have to be hospitalised immediately were I to catch it and that it's very likely that I would not do well simply because right now my sats are at or below 90%.

I can't afford to stay at home. Who.is going to pay my bills? Sorry, but you too are being ableist and are showing no empathy towards people who have different disabilities to you. You clearly have no.understanding of other conditions and how they affect people.

What alternative do you suggest?

Live on fresh air?

Nah, try looking for a different job where the nasty public can't infect you with their filthy germs. Clearly shop work isn't suitable for you.