To ask people to show a little more understanding to those not wearing masks

[Fuckinellitsme]

Apologies for another mask thread.

First of all, I'm not an 'anti masker', I absolutely see the need and the importance of wearing them. I'm unable to wear one myself - I have trigeminal neuralgia and when I've tried to wear one, the resulting attack has left me bedbound for days. I want to wear one, but I can't. I also have rheumatoid arthritis so I'm incredibly grateful to all the people who do wear masks, therefore protecting others and especially those in higher risk groups (though not vulnerable enough to be shielding) like me.

However. I've seen some truly awful comments on here in the last few days directed at those who don't wear masks. We should be treated like lepers if we enter a shop without one, for example, or should be banned from them outright. And we ought to stay at home if we are exempt, not use public transport or go shopping or go to work. We have 'made up' health issues and disabilities and are 'woe is me' 'snowflakes'. I've also encountered bus passengers passing comment and tutting about my lack of mask.

Those of us who can't wear a mask (and are acting within the law/guidelines, being exempt) still need to go about our business. It would be lovely if we could do so without fear of comment or judgement. I understand that there will be those who don't wear a mask because they just don't want to - however, please, if you see someone without a mask (particularly if they're wearing a sunflower/exempt lanyard) try to be understanding and give them the benefit of the doubt.

The nastiness and ableist comments on here (and elsewhere) in the past few days have been genuinely upsetting for those of us unable to wear masks. Please don't assume we're all stupid/selfish/conspiracy theorists/don't care about your health, or that it's a choice. For many, choice doesn't come into it.

A bit of empathy goes a long way, especially in these weird times.

[quote Floatyboat]@Fuckinellitsme

That won't suit everyone's problem but looks excellent for trigeminal neuralgia. And not that bulky, you'd just wear it when out so you don't have to carry it. Could take it off when driving if you wished.

Its available on the internet, they deliver to your door you realise?

I do get the impression sometimes people are determined they can't wear a face covering without actually researching their options.[/quote]
...or they can't wear one. Why is that so difficult for some people to grasp? We're not too lazy/stupid to do research (thanks for the condescension, btw), or being willfully obstructive, or disregarding others' health, or any of the other myriad things that are levelled at us. We're acting within the law and we have good reason for being unable to wear face coverings. That, honestly, is all anyone else needs to know.

@BamboozledandBefuddled

Mean while in the real world massive multinationals like Tesco and asda (wallmart) will happily turn people away, will call the police, who will respond

If you're expecting that to happen, I think you're probably going to be disappointed.

It’s not currently happening in Scotland, from what I’ve heard, so doubt it will in England either.

@Namenic

Having a medical cert for exemption should be ok - is there a problem with this?

What is being asked of people unable to wear masks is just to get an exemption cert. for those who have no medical (including psychiatric) reason, but intensely dislike it, then what is being asked in no worse than what was asked of people who were shielding (though without the added fear of medical issues on top).

Perhaps we could be a bit creative though and have 1 shopping day per week specifically for those who find masks difficult and 1 day per week where everyone should wear one?

Yes, there is a problem with that, as there's no such thing as an exemption certificate and there are no plans to introduce one. And the government have said that proof is not required. Nobody has 'asked' that of people who are exempt - nobody in authority, anyway. Just people on MN. And the reasons that people may be exempt - ie, a person's private medical records - is none of their business.

There are some absolute cunts on this thread. Shame on you.

I'm going to speak to my manager and request a sign be put on my checkout stating I can only serve customers who are wearing masks. That's a reasonable compromise for me. Anyone not wearing a mask can just use another checkout, there are plenty available.

If you can't or won't wear a mask then that's your decision and your condition being accommodated but I should be able to be protected from you because of my disability.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras people haven't been wearing masks for months, how have you been managing to steer clear of all of them?

@Fuckinellitsme
You poor thing, my friend has tn and I can only imagine what it's like.
She had the very high risk op last year, she was in for 2 weeks, fortunately no paralysis, but she says it's not cured it.
Hope you find some respite from your painful condition,

[quote Fuckinellitsme]@Hearhoovesthinkzebras people haven't been wearing masks for months, how have you been managing to steer clear of all of them?[/quote]
What?????

I've been shielding. I haven't set foot outside for months other than two trips to hospital, in the car, where everyone was wearing masks. That's it. The shielded still aren't allowed to go anywhere so where will I encounter people in masks?

@Fuckinellitsme

Do you actually understand what it has meant to be shielding only your last comment suggests that you have no.idea.

Do you understand how we've been living for the past four months? How we've had to live isolated even from the people in our homes? Where do you think.i.would have interacted with people, masks or no.masks?

I told my mum off yesterday for doing the opposite - judging someone for wearing a mask outside of a shop.

OP, my DH has TN until 2008 when he had a microvascular decompression of the trigeminal nerve. Thank fuck it worked. Life was horrific for him. He's not a moaner or a whinger at all but fucking hell it was horrific. Not a chance in hell could he have worn anything on his face. Some days he was scared to breathe. I think the problem is that some people are 'fuck the system, fuck off I'm not wearing a mask' like my friends husband who thinks it's all a massive lie & doesn't exist (I know) and people see you & assume that's you. Judgy bastards.

I have wondered if you can't wear a mask for any reason, will you be refused entry to shops?

I told my mum off yesterday for doing the opposite - judging someone for wearing a mask outside of a shop.

OP, my DH has TN until 2008 when he had a microvascular decompression of the trigeminal nerve. Thank fuck it worked. Life was horrific for him. He's not a moaner or a whinger at all but fucking hell it was horrific. Not a chance in hell could he have worn anything on his face. Some days he was scared to breathe. I think the problem is that some people are 'fuck the system, fuck off I'm not wearing a mask' like my friends husband who thinks it's all a massive lie & doesn't exist (I know) and people see you & assume that's you. Judgy bastards.

I have wondered if you can't wear a mask for any reason, will you be refused entry to shops?

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras

I'm going to speak to my manager and request a sign be put on my checkout stating I can only serve customers who are wearing masks. That's a reasonable compromise for me. Anyone not wearing a mask can just use another checkout, there are plenty available.

If you can't or won't wear a mask then that's your decision and your condition being accommodated but I should be able to be protected from you because of my disability.

That sounds reasonable but I’d also ask whether they could put up Perspex screens. All the shops around here seem to have them and it might give you more protection than masks would, particularly if people aren’t wearing masks effectively.

You are allowed, HearHooves. There is no law which says you cant. You might be recommended to stay at home on medical advice but that's not the same thing as being locked in with the threat of a fine when you leave. You have CHOICE.

Anyway. Through this whole thing you've tried to turn Covid into the Zebra show. You've had issues from the start with people doing things which were never banned, like going for a walk. Or going to the beach. Or whatever else. It's almost as if you believe people going about their everyday lives are doing so purely to spite you.

And now it's masks and disability top trumps. Even though the government says that people with disabilities don't have to wear them, you think they should because your illness trumps their illness, even when you don't know what their illness might be. They have to wear a mask because Zebra, who is shielding don't you know, is the most important human in the universe.

It's not all about you, Zebra, there are millions of people all over the world like you, and many are much sicker than you. You are never going to be happy, nothing's ever going to be good enough, there's always someone who is going to be doing lockdown "wrong" and not behaving in the way you like.

I'm done with engaging with you as you are quite possibly the most negative poster I've ever come across.

That won't be allowed as it's discriminatory to disabled people.

I'm too used to swathes of the general public not giving a toss whether what they are doing is dangerous to others. Like the mums who.happily bring their child into a supermarket when they've got chickenpox. It's happened too many times so I know that there will be people in shops who know they have Covid symptoms or who have been told to quarantine and they simply won't care if they give it to others so yes, I am very wary of people who could infect me with something that could kill me.

Maybe it's easy to be more relaxed about it if you don't consider yourself to be at risk from it.

A segregated queue, I mean, not Perspex screens.

I don't think that's unreasonable either, you should be able to prioritise your health just as those who can't wear masks are.

I'm sorry - I must have misunderstood. I thought I'd seen you mention upthread that you'd been to shops etc. Must've been someone else - apologies. It's a long thread with a lot of posts

@Mascotte

A segregated queue, I mean, not Perspex screens.

Why? They aren't being discriminated against. There are 25 other checkouts that they can use. I have refused to serve other customers before - mums that have had a child with obvious chicken pox, people that have been previously rude to me. It's not unreasonable for me to request that anyone I serve is wearing a mask and if they aren't then they can go to another cashier. Their "right" to not wear a mask doesn't give them the right to talk toe or to put me at risk. That would be discriminating against me.

Hear you can ask and see what they say. There may be other staff with the same request. It will be up to the store to say yes or no.

Hear do you have a Perspex screen up?

@winepls

I told my mum off yesterday for doing the opposite - judging someone for wearing a mask outside of a shop.

OP, my DH has TN until 2008 when he had a microvascular decompression of the trigeminal nerve. Thank fuck it worked. Life was horrific for him. He's not a moaner or a whinger at all but fucking hell it was horrific. Not a chance in hell could he have worn anything on his face. Some days he was scared to breathe. I think the problem is that some people are 'fuck the system, fuck off I'm not wearing a mask' like my friends husband who thinks it's all a massive lie & doesn't exist (I know) and people see you & assume that's you. Judgy bastards.

I have wondered if you can't wear a mask for any reason, will you be refused entry to shops?

Thank you for sharing about your DH - these stories of people who have had surgery and it's been a success are massively hopeful for me. I was only diagnosed about two years ago and have been told surgery will be an option down the road. As you say, it's the fear that's almost as debilitating as the condition itself - being scared to do really simple everyday things, like brushing your hair, getting dressed and yes, breathing. Living in a constant state of fear is enough to drive anyone mad, and that's before you even get to the pain.

I'm incredibly worried about being denied entry to shops - as I said upthread there have already been shop owners saying they'll put signs in their windows saying no mask, no entry. And delightful people on here saying that if you have no mask, you should be treated like a leper. The othering of disabled people/those with certain conditions goes on apace, and this is a new stick to beat us with. It's so depressing.

Fingers crossed your DH stays pain free for many years to come!

I'm surprised you work in such a public facing job zebra if other people present such a risk to you.

@Mascotte

That won't be allowed as it's discriminatory to disabled people.

I would hope so, Mascotte. But judging by many of the comments here, discrimination of disabled people is not so much of an issue these days.

By which I mean, it's become acceptable!