To ask people to show a little more understanding to those not wearing masks

[Fuckinellitsme]

Apologies for another mask thread.

First of all, I'm not an 'anti masker', I absolutely see the need and the importance of wearing them. I'm unable to wear one myself - I have trigeminal neuralgia and when I've tried to wear one, the resulting attack has left me bedbound for days. I want to wear one, but I can't. I also have rheumatoid arthritis so I'm incredibly grateful to all the people who do wear masks, therefore protecting others and especially those in higher risk groups (though not vulnerable enough to be shielding) like me.

However. I've seen some truly awful comments on here in the last few days directed at those who don't wear masks. We should be treated like lepers if we enter a shop without one, for example, or should be banned from them outright. And we ought to stay at home if we are exempt, not use public transport or go shopping or go to work. We have 'made up' health issues and disabilities and are 'woe is me' 'snowflakes'. I've also encountered bus passengers passing comment and tutting about my lack of mask.

Those of us who can't wear a mask (and are acting within the law/guidelines, being exempt) still need to go about our business. It would be lovely if we could do so without fear of comment or judgement. I understand that there will be those who don't wear a mask because they just don't want to - however, please, if you see someone without a mask (particularly if they're wearing a sunflower/exempt lanyard) try to be understanding and give them the benefit of the doubt.

The nastiness and ableist comments on here (and elsewhere) in the past few days have been genuinely upsetting for those of us unable to wear masks. Please don't assume we're all stupid/selfish/conspiracy theorists/don't care about your health, or that it's a choice. For many, choice doesn't come into it.

A bit of empathy goes a long way, especially in these weird times.

I honestly wish government would make N95 and above masks available for the vulnerable people who want them.

Hopefully, that would 'solve' so many of the current issues. Unfortunately as I understand it, theres still a lot of NHS staff and such who are struggling to get these..so until there is enough for them (and spares for them really too) its unlikely the general public can use them.

And FWIW I think the whole shielding policy is atrocious.

It would have been just about acceptable if the government had busted a gut to get infection rates down as fast as they possibly could so that people who had been told to shield could go out again as soon as possible in reasonable safety.

But they didn't do that. They farted about and twiddled their thumbs, talked about herd immunity, flattening the curve, pushing the peak forward, making sure the NHS was not overwhelmed (by completely hollowing it out), wanked about with the failed app.

They took ages to take seriously the need for widespread testing, ages to get going with contact tracing, which is still not working properly because the government has squandered so much public trust.

They reopened non-essential retail, pubs and restaurants, hairdressers and all the rest before they changed the advice for shielding people so that you could do the most simple things like sleep in the same bed as your partner, hug your children or eat with your family.

And the message now just seems to be 'Yeah we're stopping the shielding thing from August 1. Go back to work.' No additional employment or H&S protection for this group that the government has chosen to describe as 'extremely clinically vulnerable'.

I completely understand the anger. The government has just squandered several months of over 2 million people's lives because they think you don't matter.

I think it's very dangerous to be pitching this as shielding group vs. those who can't wear masks. We've seen these sorts of divide and conquer tactics before during 'austerity' and we shouldn't fall for it again.

@Ylvamoon I don't think anyone needs to spell out why that experience might make it hard to wear a mask, it seems you have little empathy, but if you stretch your mind a little, have a think about it.

@BatShite

I honestly wish government would make N95 and above masks available for the vulnerable people who want them.

Hopefully, that would 'solve' so many of the current issues. Unfortunately as I understand it, theres still a lot of NHS staff and such who are struggling to get these..so until there is enough for them (and spares for them really too) its unlikely the general public can use them.

Well yes, exactly. But then that leaves those of us currently shielding at the mercy of the public who may or may not wear masks and with no way of us protecting ourselves.

If people at work or on a bus refuse to wear masks around me I will just have to be at risk, with no option but to accept it. A mask that protects me would mean I'm not relying on the goodwill of strangers to reduce my risk.

@LangClegsInSpace

Thank you for understanding how frightening this is and how difficult it has been.

So, if you aren't wearing a mask where it's otherwise required stay at least two metres away from everyone else and don't close windows. That's fair enough, right?

Thats definitely reasonable tbh. And seems to have been how its been going anyway, even with the whingey FB posts..they tend to say they will stick to social distancing and such. (not agreeing with the ones refusing for no reason, just saying they seem to still be doing other stuff right)

From the limited amount of people I have seen, a fair few mask wearers seem to think that because of the mask, distancing is no longer required.

Government needs to be clear on it all tbh, not wishy washy and changing minds every few days.

@Ylvamoon. I hope you do read back and feel thoroughly fucking ashamed of yourself for asking that. That was a disgusting thing to say and you and the self appointed covid police ( of which the usual suspects are all on this thread) are selfish depressing people who think the world revolves around you.

@Ylvamoon. Doubling down on your utter vileness read itis post from 16.05 today and then come back with your snide little comments. You should feel utterly ashamed of yourself.

@ItsNotJustAboutYou. Just wanted to tag you to say that other people have spotted what a disgustingly vile poster Ylva is and that you have supporters. No one should “challenge” you in public and the covid mask warriors are the same dementors who ranted about unnecessary shopping trips, buying Easter eggs, VE Day. They are just depressing nasty people who enjoy punishing others for their perceived transgressions.

What Holy said.

A lot of people aren't going to be wearing masks. So I wouldn't worry OP. If you can't wear one, don't. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

@InFiveMins

A lot of people aren't going to be wearing masks. So I wouldn't worry OP. If you can't wear one, don't. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

I'll just stay locked indoors indefinitely then shall i?

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras. You do whatever you think is best for you and you’ll no doubt whinge endlessly about it anyway. You seem to have turned a global pandemic into the zebra show anyway.

It's a sad day when people are is not living within the laws set by their country to protect them.

Jesus, it's just for the time you are in a shop. You are not confined to your house for months on end. If you feel particularly aggrieved that you cannot get in a shop because you stuggle with a mask I am sure shielders can offer you plenty of tips of online alternatives after months of being completely housebound.

Sorry I've been away from the thread. Ironically my TN has flared up again this afternoon!

Lots of posts to reply to but I'll have to be brief in afraid.

@Ylvamoon your posts are deeply unpleasant. Please stop.

@ItsNotJustAboutYou I'm sorry to tag you but I wanted to say sorry for the rough ride you're getting on this thread. Thank you for being so supportive and brave enough to share what you went through. I'm sorry that people can't find it in themselves to show empathy and find it appropriate to be unpleasant to you instead.

To those suggesting those of us who can't wear masks simply don't go to shops: Some of us have jobs, medical appointments to keep, essential shopping to do, and more. Many of us must use public transport. The shielding group (who have been treated appallingly by this government) always knew that their shielding period would be time-limited. We cannot be expected to stay at home, potentially, for years, or indefinitely. I have said this before but it was way upthread, so I understand if people missed it.

to all of you who are being supportive, and also to everyone going through a shit time.

@FourTeaFallOut

Jesus, it's just for the time you are in a shop. You are not confined to your house for months on end. If you feel particularly aggrieved that you cannot get in a shop because you stuggle with a mask I am sure shielders can offer you plenty of tips of online alternatives after months of being completely housebound.

It's on public transport, too.

I would have preferred a slower path out of lock down than having to wear masks in shops

(I'm exempt due to multiple disabilities as I mentioned before)

People will simply shop less unless its for food, and even then, will only buy the essentials to make their shop as short as possible.

The high street will die.

Well yes, that too

OP if as you say TN is triggered by a light breeze, putting make-up on, chewing, touching the face, even my hair brushing on my cheek then perhaps wearing a visor would be wise everyday, always. Surely you can't go out at all if a breeze sets you off.

To those suggesting those of us who can't wear masks simply don't go to shops: Some of us have jobs, medical appointments to keep, essential shopping to do, and more. Many of us must use public transport.

Yet ironically, those of us shielding and now being put at risk by people not wearing masks are being told to remain at home, give up.our jobs and claim benefits.

The shielding group (who have been treated appallingly by this government) always knew that their shielding period would be time-limited.
Do we? Since when? Shielding is only being paused on 1st August. Very likely to be reinstated going into autumn. Plus, it's only being lifted if our jobs are Covid secure, we can stay two metres apart and we are told to remain at home as much as possible, so it's not really been lifted, just relaxed and relies on everyone doing their bit to keep rates low.

@Fuckinellitsme. Many of the shielder community on Mumsnet are completely intolerant and utterly self absorbed. It’s like they think the entire world revolves around them. Most reasonable people will do their best in the circumstances and not waste time and effort judging others when they know nothing about the scenarios. As many others have said, there are exceptions to wearing a face mask and you should not be guilted into making your own health worse just because some keyboard warriors think you should not use the acknowledged exception to the rule.