To ask people to show a little more understanding to those not wearing masks

[Fuckinellitsme]

Apologies for another mask thread.

First of all, I'm not an 'anti masker', I absolutely see the need and the importance of wearing them. I'm unable to wear one myself - I have trigeminal neuralgia and when I've tried to wear one, the resulting attack has left me bedbound for days. I want to wear one, but I can't. I also have rheumatoid arthritis so I'm incredibly grateful to all the people who do wear masks, therefore protecting others and especially those in higher risk groups (though not vulnerable enough to be shielding) like me.

However. I've seen some truly awful comments on here in the last few days directed at those who don't wear masks. We should be treated like lepers if we enter a shop without one, for example, or should be banned from them outright. And we ought to stay at home if we are exempt, not use public transport or go shopping or go to work. We have 'made up' health issues and disabilities and are 'woe is me' 'snowflakes'. I've also encountered bus passengers passing comment and tutting about my lack of mask.

Those of us who can't wear a mask (and are acting within the law/guidelines, being exempt) still need to go about our business. It would be lovely if we could do so without fear of comment or judgement. I understand that there will be those who don't wear a mask because they just don't want to - however, please, if you see someone without a mask (particularly if they're wearing a sunflower/exempt lanyard) try to be understanding and give them the benefit of the doubt.

The nastiness and ableist comments on here (and elsewhere) in the past few days have been genuinely upsetting for those of us unable to wear masks. Please don't assume we're all stupid/selfish/conspiracy theorists/don't care about your health, or that it's a choice. For many, choice doesn't come into it.

A bit of empathy goes a long way, especially in these weird times.

No, just the ones of us who are genuinely - and legally - exempt.

Really? So you’re trying to tell me everyone who is saying they can’t wear a mask has a legitimate reason? Bollocks. The majority are making up their own excuses because they simply don’t want one.

So yes, I will judge.

Perhaps we should judge all drivers because some of them will have been drinking. Exactly the same as judging all not mask wearers because some of them will be taking the piss.

This virus has really shown up how nasty, narrow minded and judgemental some people are.

I think there is something creepy looking about people wearing masks but I will wear one where I have to.

Just because I hold this opinion doesn't give other people who I don't even know the right to name call and spout sanctimonious bollocks.

Masks may help a bit but I've read some really contradictory articles about their usefulness. At the beginning of the pandemic even the WHO were not advising people to wear masks.

In reality I think that most people probably won't wear their masks correctly and it will not really be possible to tell what effect masks are having until someone does a proper study. The ones I have seen so far are usually very small samples.

The whole mask thing is just another example of people being unwilling to consider other people's points of view and having constructive discussions using proper evidence to convince the other person of your position.

I also think the government's faffing about and changing their minds every five minutes isn't helping.

I do agree that the mask shaming will become the new "stay at home".

Just as an observation, where I go shopping hardly anyone has been wearing masks and their have been no deaths in our hospital trust area for some time now.

The police don't share the breathalyser results with all the rubberneckers.

The majority are making up their own excuses because they simply don’t want one.So yes, I will judge.

You are horrible.

This crisis certainly brings the worst out in a lot of people. Better to live and let live as none of us know the situations of others. Or are we going to require the disabled to wear special red jump suits or something so random others in shops will believe they are disabled? it is private whether someone has a medical condition so requiring them to tell all and sundry is not on nor required by law.

On trains currently all you have to do is tell the driver or station staff you are not required by law to wear the mask. you don't have to carry your medical history with you

Ok heartsonacake live your life assuming the worst of people (unless a police officer has proven to you otherwise) Apply none of your own critical thought.

You'll probably give yourself a stomach ulcer.

Well at least all the cats bum faces will be hidden behind masks.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras I'm not sure if you realise how very self centred your posts make you sound. Literally all your posts are me me me me I I I I with so little regard to a huge number of people who also exist. Expecting so many people to do something they are simply unable to do, and legally aren't mandated to do, to protect you. Your employers should enforce these exempt people to do something they're legally exempt from, to protect you. Other people exist in the world you know and are free to live their lives without putting you at the centre of it.

Perhaps you need to actually read the guidance. I have linked it below and here is the relevant part (please note it does not say at the bottom "except when you are in the vicinity of HearHoovesEatZebras")

"5. Exemptions to wearing a face covering where they are mandated
In settings where face coverings are mandated in England, there are some circumstances, for health, age or equality reasons, whereby people are not expected to wear face coverings in these settings. Please be mindful and respectful of such circumstances noting that some people are less able to wear face coverings...

"You do not need to wear a face covering if you have a legitimate reason not to"

Also other people on this thread who are judging everyone they see without a mask (and worse, who actually feel they are entitled to ask people to disclose their exemption and to justify themselves to you , are actually not following the guidance yourself.

Maybe you should try reading the guidance and being mindful and respectful. HTH.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/face-coverings-when-to-wear-one-and-how-to-make-your-own/face-coverings-when-to-wear-one-and-how-to-make-your-own

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras I'm not sure if you realise how very self centred your posts make you sound. Literally all your posts are me me me me I I I I with so little regard to a huge number of people who also exist. Expecting so many people to do something they are simply unable to do, and legally aren't mandated to do, to protect you. Your employers should enforce these exempt people to do something they're legally exempt from, to protect you. Other people exist in the world you know and are free to live their lives without putting you at the centre of it.

Perhaps you need to actually read the guidance. I have linked it below and here is the relevant part (please note it does not say at the bottom "except when you are in the vicinity of HearHoovesEatZebras")

"5. Exemptions to wearing a face covering where they are mandated
In settings where face coverings are mandated in England, there are some circumstances, for health, age or equality reasons, whereby people are not expected to wear face coverings in these settings. Please be mindful and respectful of such circumstances noting that some people are less able to wear face coverings...

"You do not need to wear a face covering if you have a legitimate reason not to"

Also other people on this thread who are judging everyone they see without a mask (and worse, who actually feel they are entitled to ask people to disclose their exemption and to justify themselves to you , are actually not following the guidance yourself.

Maybe you should try reading the guidance and being mindful and respectful. HTH.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/face-coverings-when-to-wear-one-and-how-to-make-your-own/face-coverings-when-to-wear-one-and-how-to-make-your-own

@LangClegsInSpace

The police don't share the breathalyser results with all the rubberneckers.

No one is asking for exemptions to be shared are they? Simply having an official card stating you are exempt, to be shown to a bus driver or shop keeper would be sufficient. Doesn't need to contain medical history. A blue badge doesn't show medical history. I carry a "can't wait" card for toilets - that's more embarrassing to have to produce but it clearly advertises that I'm about to shit myself. Maybe everyone should have to make way for me in every toilet queue everywhere, without me ever having to say a word, in order to spare my embarrassment. I should simply be allowed to walk to the front of the queue, unchallenged, right?

Or are we going to require the disabled to wear special red jump suits or something so random others in shops will believe they are disabled?

I know! What about a Yellow Star? They could have it sewn into their clothing and everything so that we all know who they are.

So when I urgently need the toilet in public, due to having Crohn's disease, I am entitled to merely walk to the front of the queue and no one is allowed to say a word, or look at me funny or anything? Because I have a disability and you must not ask me about it nor judge me, right?

Well at least all the cats bum faces will be hidden behind masks.

Who would provide the exemption cards? Given that it will be in the millions that are exempt, how would it practically work? Who decides and where do they find the time to do this?

So when I urgently need the toilet in public, due to having Crohn's disease
Why don't you use the disabled toilet? Do you have a radar key?

Please be mindful and respectful of such circumstances noting that some people are less able to wear face coverings...

And perhaps people who aren't wearing face coverings could be respectful of other people who may have been shielding and so are at high risk and make sure they stay well away, maintain at least two metre distance etc etc? So, if you aren't wearing a mask where it's otherwise required stay at least two metres away from everyone else and don't close windows. That's fair enough, right?

@MaxNormal

So when I urgently need the toilet in public, due to having Crohn's disease Why don't you use the disabled toilet? Do you have a radar key?

Because the disabled toilet is also for people in wheelchairs, who cannot fit into a normal cubicle, and is usually also the baby change so often in use. I can go into a standard cubicle so I don't need a disabled toilet, I just need to get in one quickly. Yes, I do have a radar key but again, I don't need to take the only toilet that a person in a wheelchair can use and if it's already occupied I might not be able to wait. So, I clearly should be able to walk to the front of the queue for the normal toilets.

Well then hooves I don't know what else to suggest. You've got a a problem for every solution.
Disabled toilets are just that - for disabilities. They are not wheelchair-specific.
That being said I wouldn't mind if someone said "please can I go in first" if I were queuing for the toilet and I wouldn't press them for details.
I'd rather risk letting a cheeky bastard away with it than cause discomfort to someone in need.

"I will continue to judge and think anyone not wearing a mask is selfish

I am certain that a good number of non mask wearers will be those who simply could not care less about anyone else.

I will silently judge them for putting mine and others health at risk

they're putting themselves first at my expense then?

Why can't you simply ask the person why they're not wearing a mask?"

These are the most recent comments. People who say things like this clearly think it's fine and right to judge everyone not wearing a mask and it's fine for them to ask a random member of the public to provide a reason to you so you don't judge them Really?! Who the fuck do you actually think you are? Self important and self centred is what you are with so little regard to others as you are so important. Lacking in any kindness or compassion for anyone but yourselves.

You can "judge" me however you want or ask me if you think I owe you an explanation, feel free. I will explain to you that I can't wear anything that covers my mouth and nose as I was raped when I was 14. To stop me screaming he put his hand over my mouth but he was an adult and his hands were big so it covered my nose too and I couldn't breathe. It went on forever and I genuinely thought I would die. So I can't bear anything that covers my nose and my mouth (or even hands near my face unexpectedly).

So please do ask me instead of just silently judging me and I will explain this to you and everyone else who is listening. You can then let me know if you think it's OK or if you still think I am selfish and I can't care less about others and putting myself first. Of course you may not want to ask yourself, you might want the shop staff or your employers to ask me to justify myself for your benefit. Please do. I would hate anyone to just assume I was selfish and uncaring.

Alright that last sentence isn't true, I actually don't give a single fuck about the judgements of people who think like that.

I've suffered with TN for over 30 years. If I get a flare up I will get multiple attacks every few seconds for hours. Nothing will stop them and painkillers don't work. Even when an attack ends my face is achy for a day or so afterwards.

I am already wearing a mask in shops and giving a very wide berth to anyone I see without one even if I do appear rude.

Trying to move (politely) to the front of a toilet queue would require some explanation.
A person shopping without a mask can't be expected to explain themselves to every other shopper, nor should they have to. Any sort of proof or medical card is for the benefit of shop staff or the police.

Well then hooves I don't know what else to suggest. You've got a a problem for every solution.
Disabled toilets are just that - for disabilities. They are not wheelchair-specific.

I know they aren't just for people in wheelchairs, but they are the only toilets that people in a wheelchair can use, so it seems selfish for me to occupy it when I am quite able to use the other toilets. They are also usually the baby change, quite why who knows, so are often busy. It's not creating problems, it's simply pointing out reality. At least now I know that it's fine to simply address my own needs and know that no one is allowed to challenge me or ask me to explain my disability.

"So, if you aren't wearing a mask where it's otherwise required stay at least two metres away from everyone else"

You can be sure I would stay much more than two metres away from you.

PPS Ironically I'm also on the shielding list.

Trying to move (politely) to the front of a toilet queue would require some explanation.

Why? Why should I have to explain to the queue in the toilets about my medical condition but it's completely wrong for someone with a genuine exemption for mask wearing to show a card to a bus driver or shop assistant?