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Original poster

To ask people to show a little more understanding to those not wearing masks

999 replies

Fuckinellitsme · 15/07/2020 09:20

Apologies for another mask thread.

First of all, I'm not an 'anti masker', I absolutely see the need and the importance of wearing them. I'm unable to wear one myself - I have trigeminal neuralgia and when I've tried to wear one, the resulting attack has left me bedbound for days. I want to wear one, but I can't. I also have rheumatoid arthritis so I'm incredibly grateful to all the people who do wear masks, therefore protecting others and especially those in higher risk groups (though not vulnerable enough to be shielding) like me.

However. I've seen some truly awful comments on here in the last few days directed at those who don't wear masks. We should be treated like lepers if we enter a shop without one, for example, or should be banned from them outright. And we ought to stay at home if we are exempt, not use public transport or go shopping or go to work. We have 'made up' health issues and disabilities and are 'woe is me' 'snowflakes'. I've also encountered bus passengers passing comment and tutting about my lack of mask.

Those of us who can't wear a mask (and are acting within the law/guidelines, being exempt) still need to go about our business. It would be lovely if we could do so without fear of comment or judgement. I understand that there will be those who don't wear a mask because they just don't want to - however, please, if you see someone without a mask (particularly if they're wearing a sunflower/exempt lanyard) try to be understanding and give them the benefit of the doubt.

The nastiness and ableist comments on here (and elsewhere) in the past few days have been genuinely upsetting for those of us unable to wear masks. Please don't assume we're all stupid/selfish/conspiracy theorists/don't care about your health, or that it's a choice. For many, choice doesn't come into it.

A bit of empathy goes a long way, especially in these weird times.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
HeIenaDove · 15/07/2020 14:56

"Unfortunately there are too many people who are treating the requirement to wear a mask as a severe breach of their human rights, or who are bleating loudly about how mean it all is and that the masks are all a bit too hot and stuffy.

Which makes it very difficult for those who cannot wear a mask for legitimate medical reasons"

This is the new "disability benefits have to be cut because of the scroungers" Its because of the scroungers.

PablosHoney · 15/07/2020 14:56

@GreytExpectations I’m sorry you’ve had a bad experience, my mum is high risk and in our experience it’s the minority that have been selfish not the majority.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 15/07/2020 14:56

Nobody has asked you to like about anything - talking about your worst days when asking for help is not lying.

In my book it is. I am in pain. I'm not unable to do things. Pain doesn't stop me from doing things, it won't kill me and the presence of pain is not causing more damage so how can I claim that I can't walk whatever distance? Of course I can do it, I just don't particularly want to because it hurts but I know that I have to do it to retain mobility.

I'm not going to play on my bad days just to be eligible for benefits. I cope with my illness by refusing to accept it. I can't cope with it if I make it my identity. Claiming any form of benefit, for me, means accepting this and I refuse to do it. That's simply how I cope. It would be too easy for me to go to bed and never get up which is why I've found shielding so hard. Every single one of my coping mechanisms has been taken away and I fear that I will never recover.

PablosHoney · 15/07/2020 14:57

How can you have the majority of the English public on your social media to know what they are going to do, I’ve been out an about (wearing a mask) and the majority of people were already wearing them too.

heartsonacake · 15/07/2020 14:59

This reply has been deleted

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Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 15/07/2020 15:01

@PablosHoney

How can you have the majority of the English public on your social media to know what they are going to do, I’ve been out an about (wearing a mask) and the majority of people were already wearing them too.
I've been watching buses when I'm out for a walk, less than half the passengers wearing masks. No pedestrians. I'm talking to colleagues working in the supermarket, only a handful of customers wearing masks. So not sure where you are but it definitely isn't the majority of the public wearing them everywhere.
PablosHoney · 15/07/2020 15:02

Good for you 😂

PablosHoney · 15/07/2020 15:04

Sorry that wasn’t meant for you @Hearhoovesthinkzebras. Well I can only speak for my area can’t I? The supermarket I was in today there were more mask wearers than non, whether that fits in to the narrative or not it is true.

MaxNormal · 15/07/2020 15:04

You do you, heartsonacake, you do you Grin
And if being judgemental is who you are, you embrace that wholeheartedly!

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 15/07/2020 15:06

I honestly wish government would make N95 and above masks available for the vulnerable people who want them. My oxygen saturation is less than 90% on room air but I would still wear a filtration mask and then anyone who can't or won't wear one can do what they want. I honestly fail to see why anyone else has the right to put my life at risk and there's nothing I can do to protect myself.

PablosHoney · 15/07/2020 15:06

@MaxNormal 😂😂👍

Sleepyblueocean · 15/07/2020 15:06

I pity the sad individuals who get enjoyment out of judging.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 15/07/2020 15:09

@Sleepyblueocean

I pity the sad individuals who get enjoyment out of judging.
Do you not judge drunk drivers, or drug dealers or shop lifters?
SmileyClare · 15/07/2020 15:09

I will continue to judge and think anyone not wearing a mask is selfish What a foul attitude. So you think Op is selfish?
Or do you want her to read your comment and feel condemned? And too anxious to go out at all.

heartsonacake · 15/07/2020 15:09

@MaxNormal

You do you, heartsonacake, you do you Grin And if being judgemental is who you are, you embrace that wholeheartedly!
Everyone’s judgemental.
Zaphodsotherhead · 15/07/2020 15:10

And for everyone who hates wearing a mask....

we shop workers are going to have to wear one ALL DAY. The entire shift. We can't just put one on, race around the shop and then out to rip the thing off with a socially distanced sigh of relief.

All day. Fucking hell. I'm asthmatic and claustrophobic, so that's going to be fun.

PablosHoney · 15/07/2020 15:11

We can still hate wearing one, I can hate it all I like and I’m still wearing it so...

LangClegsInSpace · 15/07/2020 15:11

Do you not judge drunk drivers, or drug dealers or shop lifters?

Please clarify that you did not mean to put disabled people who can't wear masks in the same category as the above.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 15/07/2020 15:16

@LangClegsInSpace

Do you not judge drunk drivers, or drug dealers or shop lifters?

Please clarify that you did not mean to put disabled people who can't wear masks in the same category as the above.

I was picking up on the point about judging people. People who choose not to wear one when they can wear one should be in the same category, yes, because they are making a choice to put other lives at risk. If you can't wear one because of a legitimate exemption then take other precautions like two metre social distancing etc. If you choose not to wear one because of your human rights (!) then you should be judged.
SmileyClare · 15/07/2020 15:17

If we're going to try to make a comparison based on drunk drivers/ people medically exempt from mask wearing it would be;

You'd assume anyone without a mask is a selfish arsehole, deliberately breaking the law.

You'd assume anyone who crashed their car was drunk and deliberately breaking the law.

Original poster
Fuckinellitsme · 15/07/2020 15:18

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras

Nobody has asked you to like about anything - talking about your worst days when asking for help is not lying.

In my book it is. I am in pain. I'm not unable to do things. Pain doesn't stop me from doing things, it won't kill me and the presence of pain is not causing more damage so how can I claim that I can't walk whatever distance? Of course I can do it, I just don't particularly want to because it hurts but I know that I have to do it to retain mobility.

I'm not going to play on my bad days just to be eligible for benefits. I cope with my illness by refusing to accept it. I can't cope with it if I make it my identity. Claiming any form of benefit, for me, means accepting this and I refuse to do it. That's simply how I cope. It would be too easy for me to go to bed and never get up which is why I've found shielding so hard. Every single one of my coping mechanisms has been taken away and I fear that I will never recover.

I understand. I'm so sorry you are in so much pain. When I was first diagnosed with RA ten years ago I didn't know how I would cope. I was only 36 and I felt as if my life was over. The endless hospital appointments, the chemo drugs which made my hair fall out and my gums bleed, the pain. It subsumed me for a while. My GP suggested the bus pass and for me, it was a means to getting some sort of independence back (neither me nor DH drive and we were - still are - on a low income). I was able to do the grocery shopping and occasionally have a day out knowing I could get the bus easily. It was a lifeline to me, but I understand how you feel. We all try to cope in our own ways.

I know what you mean about your copoing mechanisms, too. I can't wait for things to get a bit back to normal so we can all get them back.

Gentle and un MN-y hugs to you. I'm sorry if I've seemed a bit lacking empathy to you on this thread Flowers

OP posts:
Sleepyblueocean · 15/07/2020 15:19

"Do you not judge drunk drivers, or drug dealers or shop lifters?"

Are they the same as non mask wearers now?

LangClegsInSpace · 15/07/2020 15:20

we shop workers are going to have to wear one ALL DAY

I thought staff did not have to wear them.

It won't be compulsory for shop workers in England to wear a face covering because "it won't always be right for every setting in a retail environment", according to Environment Secretary George Eustice.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-51176409

Original poster
Fuckinellitsme · 15/07/2020 15:20

@heartsonacake

I will continue to judge and think anyone not wearing a mask is selfish. Of course suddenly now masks are becoming mandatory everyone and their dog has an excuse why they can’t wear one 🙄
No, just the ones of us who are genuinely - and legally - exempt.

Please don't judge others - whose medical history you know nothing of - so harshly.

OP posts:
Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 15/07/2020 15:20

@SmileyClare

If we're going to try to make a comparison based on drunk drivers/ people medically exempt from mask wearing it would be;

You'd assume anyone without a mask is a selfish arsehole, deliberately breaking the law.

You'd assume anyone who crashed their car was drunk and deliberately breaking the law.

No. Everyone involved in a car accident, where police are called, are breathalysed to prove they aren't a drunk driver. We don't just assume they aren't drunk because some people aren't drunk.