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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stay in bed tomorrow and ask DH to contact my boss

129 replies

Gaffertape101 · 14/07/2020 23:18

I'm exhausted beyond exhausted - just Like many others are too probably. Currently managing working every day at home, looking after 2 DS 1 who is ASD, DH is also ASD, doing all the food shops, running the house, managing the finances and keeping everything ticking over, managing a garden renovation project, getting the family ready to go away and planning for it all. I just want to stay in bed tomorrow and ask DH to contact my boss (we work in same company) and say I'm exhausted physically and mentally and hes not waking me coz I need to rest before I collapse. He wont do it not even if I asked him.

OP posts:
GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 14/07/2020 23:19

Can you ring your boss?

Busymum45 · 14/07/2020 23:20

I'd phone in myself and say i was unwell rather than ask your dh

Mylittlepony374 · 14/07/2020 23:20

I am a boss. If someone's husband callede in this situation I would think extremely badly of them. Take responsibility. Call your own boss.

Merename · 14/07/2020 23:20

I think getting him to phone is a bit unnecessary, but I hear what you are saying, you are done. I think you’d be better getting up, calling your GP, telling them how you feel and getting a line, then call your boss. THEN, for the next week or more, you can stay in bed.

CloudsCanLookLikeSheep · 14/07/2020 23:21

Not great to not speak to your boss yourself tbh, unless you are in intensive care or something. Will look suss.

MorrisZapp · 14/07/2020 23:21

Do you mean you would be phoning in sick?

Nicknacky · 14/07/2020 23:22

You really need to phone in yourself. You can rest again after the call.

It doesn’t matter that your h works there too.

BikeRunSki · 14/07/2020 23:23

I’m with for needing some down time OP, but you need to ring in yourself.

ShyTown · 14/07/2020 23:23

Take the sick day, sounds like you need it, but be an adult and tell your boss yourself.

Purpleartichoke · 14/07/2020 23:23

DH has only contacted my boss when I am incapacitated. Once with an emergency trip to the hospital, the others for migraines so bad I couldn’t manage the phone call between vomiting sessions.

Call yourself.

daisypond · 14/07/2020 23:24

You absolutely must call your boss yourself.

YorkshirePud1 · 14/07/2020 23:24

Personally I'd only ever get someone to call in for me if I was so ill I physically couldn't, so it would have to be something pretty serious for that to happen. I'm sure your boss will prefer to hear it from you. I hope you feel better soon.

altiara · 14/07/2020 23:25

No, partners only phone in when you can’t do it yourself.
Sounds like you need to take some annual leave and DH should step up with the kids, house and planning for holiday while you have downtime.
If you’re genuinely sick, then call in sick. But sounds like you need your husband to help out or stop doing everything yourself and relax a bit.

Adeleide2 · 14/07/2020 23:26

Can’t you book holiday?

Original poster
Gaffertape101 · 14/07/2020 23:28

Think the point for me was not DH calling my boss but rather he - someone or anyone - has noticed how exhausted I am in every way and was thinking of me ie left me to sleep while they excused me from work. I have no issue contacting my boss myself. Guess I'm just feeling like I need some attention/thoughtfulness towards me for once.
I'm ranting !

OP posts:
HooNoes · 14/07/2020 23:28

We have to ring in personally. I thought that was standard.

PineconeOfDoom · 14/07/2020 23:29

Don’t ever get someone else to phone in sick for you unless you are totally incapacitated, it looks terrible. Book some annual leave.

oopsiedaisy2 · 14/07/2020 23:29

Policy in our work is we have to ring ourselves but ring her first thing and stay in bed go back to sleep . Take a couple of days if needed . It's a very exhausting time

HooNoes · 14/07/2020 23:31

Whether your DH notices that you're unwell is separate to you ringing into work. I'd do that yourself. Then, see how he treats you.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 14/07/2020 23:33

You need to phone your manager yourself.

QueenOfPain · 14/07/2020 23:33

Just ring yourself and say you’ve got D&V or something.

Renovating your garden and planning a holiday is nothing to fucking do with your boss Confused

CloudsCanLookLikeSheep · 14/07/2020 23:33

Where I work we would dock sick pay if someone did this without just cause. Maybe not the first time, but they definitely get a telling off and pay docked if they did it again.

ToBBQorNotToBBQ · 14/07/2020 23:34

How old are you 12? Ring your boss yourself and book a few days (or weeks) off.

853690525d · 14/07/2020 23:35

I'd find it very controlling if someone decided I was going to take a day off without talking to be about it. Please don't be mad at him because he can't read your mind and this seems very specific. Maybe he thinks you should be noticing he's been extra hungry lately and should buy extra bread without mentioning it to him for some reason??

Stuckforthefourthtime · 14/07/2020 23:35

Whether your DH notices that you're unwell is separate to you ringing into work. I'd do that yourself. Then, see how he treats you.

This. I've had a lot of direct reports over the years and literally the only time anyone has had their partner or mum contact me is when they've been in hospital.

It sounds like you feel in need of having everyone notice your feelings. Are you often like this? Is your work overly exhausting? If so, take the day off and make time to talk about it with your manager. If it's at home, then don't drag your work into your personal life or vice versa, take the day sick to rest and use the time in the evening that you might usually be doing jobs or work to have a heart to heart with your DH.