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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel annoyed at school motto

292 replies

WeasleyWoman · 14/07/2020 15:23

DS's primary school is CofE state mainstream. Its official motto is love hope forgiveness or similar which is great but on all letters they now say. Learning for Life: Ready to take our place in God's World.
I guess this shouldn't matter but it pisses me off. Why is it his world? Why not our world? The children's world? It might as well say Learning for life: ready to bow to the patriarchy and conform.
Aibu

OP posts:
squeekums · 15/07/2020 06:26

I'm so glad we have a choice where i am. The other 2 schools would have to be bordering on war zones for me to send dd to the religious one.

If I had no choice, id be that parent, questioning all the religious b.s. and work sent home. I'd allow dd to skip religious ed classes with no guilt. We worked out from our nephew that he loses around 2 to 3 hours a week of proper education for religious studies compared to dd public school. He mid teens and happily talks about it, we didnt need to pry. He amazed dd is doing some of the things she is at school, it's just not offered at his cos that would cut into RE.

I firmly believe religion is for the home only and should never be in schools taught as fact.

caroloro · 15/07/2020 08:06

@jessstan2 it so depends on the school, the head, the teachers, the board of gevernors. A friend of mines children attend a local ish faith school, and it absolutely is zealous. Their pshe seems to revolve around why God loves me and power of prayer etc

picklemewalnuts · 15/07/2020 08:36

@WeasleyWoman

As others have pointed out without the funds to go private there is not a lot of choice involved in him going to a CofE school. It is our state funded catchment school and it not like they are preaching intolerance or anything. I am happy for him to go there. It is a good school. I just find the motto a little subservient and depressing. Why not be more hopeful? Strive for peace or hope or excellence for everyone not matter what their beliefs not just fit in and take our place.... seems a wasted opportunity
@WeasleyWoman you've misunderstood 'God's World' as 'this world'.

To be part of God's world encapsulates all that hope and peace you mention. It's what Christians work towards, recognising that this world is 'fallen'.
The kingdom of God is just, fair, there will be no tears etc.

Theology is really deep, and people generally don't know a lot about it. Including church goers.

caringcarer · 15/07/2020 09:15

When I was a teacher I taught for 13 years at a Catholic school. I am not Catholic but fell in line with ethos of school. I did assembly on a rota basis. I attended all assembly's every week. I remained silent when the contraception page was taken out of science text book. Really it did not hurt me. If you do not want religion in your child's life don't choose a Church school.

Moonmelodies · 15/07/2020 09:24

According to the Bible, God killed millions of people. I'm not sure if I'd want my kids to be part of his world.

jessstan2 · 15/07/2020 10:24

caroloro Wed 15-Jul-20 08:06:25
@jessstan2 it so depends on the school, the head, the teachers, the board of gevernors. A friend of mines children attend a local ish faith school, and it absolutely is zealous. Their pshe seems to revolve around why God loves me and power of prayer etc
......
Gosh, that is very unusual but I imagine it would only attract people who agreed with that sort of teaching. The only one anywhere near me (Chislehurst), is an Islamic boys' school, private, and only takes Muslims. It's also way off the road in large grounds; if you didn't know it was there you'd never see it though it is, apparently, quite prestigious. It's has been there for years and I hadn't even heard of it until a few years ago.

mrsBtheparker · 15/07/2020 10:39

If you object to religious references why do you send your child to a CofE school? Is it maybe that it is a better school? I find the hypocrisy in your question staggering!

Justajot · 15/07/2020 11:03

@mrsBtheparker

Do you think you might like to read the thread before accusing the OP of hypocrisy?

Sending a child to a CofE school is often not a choice.

Danglingmod · 15/07/2020 11:19

Oh, people are so brilliant at comprehension, aren't they?

Thinking of the fifteen mile radius from a previous place we lived, not a single primary school that wasn't CofE. Oh, I lie, one joint CofE/methodist school. No Catholic schools, no other religion schools but, importantly, no community (non-faith) schools at all. YOU HAD NO CHOICE. And this is in a really not very religious / CofE area. Practically all of the actual churches are closed through lack of attendance, but it's a rural area with village CofE schools.

There are no religious secondary schools at all in my area, BTW.

Sellotape55 · 15/07/2020 11:27

If OP was complaining about 'God stuff' in a non-faith school I would totally agree; I got hacked off with a lot of Christian stuff being pushed at my kids' supposedly non-denominational one.
But if you go CofE for whatever reason, this is the price you pay.

JaJaDingDong · 15/07/2020 11:27

there is not a lot of choice involved in him going to a CofE school. It is our state funded catchment school

If you felt as strongly about your anti faith views as people of faith do about their faith, you would travel out of catchment to a school that suited your non-belief.
Kids from families of all kinds of faiths travel miles daily to a school that supports what they believe. It's no different from you having to travel to a non church funded school.

corythatwas · 15/07/2020 11:36

JaJaDingDong, whether the number of miles makes that practical rather depends on where the OP lives. There are areas where every school within a very large radius has a religious affiliation.

There is also the consideration that her dc may not be able to get into a non-catchment school. When we applied out of catchment there were 30 families at the appeals meeting trying to get their non-catchment child into that school. As far as I know, we were the only ones who were successful and that was with a ream of medical evidence, combined with the architect's plans of the catchment schools to demonstrate why they would not be possible.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 15/07/2020 12:08

I taught for 13 years at a Catholic school. I am not Catholic but fell in line with ethos of school ... I remained silent when the contraception page was taken out of science text book

Each to their own of course, but I don't think I could have done that - but then nothing would persuade me to teach in any staunch church school in the first place

Whatever happened to introducing kids to a range of views and opportunities - even if it's followed up by "this isn't for us"? Hmm

Komacho · 15/07/2020 12:57

IMO refusing to teach kids about contraception shouldn't be allowed. It's an important topic.

Justajot · 15/07/2020 13:16

As an extreme example for all of those who doubt that there are places in the uk without choice, the schools on the Isles of Scilly are all church schools. It's more than 2 hours by ferry to other schools. I've no idea whether they are particularly religious church schools, but there is no choice.

Is it really that hard for those from urban areas to understand rural areas?

lazylinguist · 15/07/2020 13:31

I just looked at a list of the primary schools in my district (in rural NW England). The vast majority of them are CofE and, given the low population density here compared with urban areas, the schools are further apart, so people would have to travel further to get to a non-church school. Not that there would be anything like enough school places at the few non-church schools to accommodate those out-of-catchment non-Christians.

Danglingmod · 15/07/2020 13:54

Precisely, lazylinguist.

I would guesstimate that in my entire county, we are 95% atheist with 90% CofE primary schools. There is no such option as "choose a different school" !

solomontingz · 15/07/2020 13:56

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BabyLlamaZen · 15/07/2020 14:07

It's a religious school 🤦‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ I'd ignore all that stuff if you're happy for them to be there. Just like I'd ignore the prayers and constant god talk.

Esmesmommy · 15/07/2020 14:23

I agree, it’s outdated. I’m sure half the people saying ‘why send him to the CofE school then’ would feel differently if the only state school in their catchment had a motto about Allah or was Buddhist. Religion has no place in state funded schools, especially where no other alternative schools exist.

Shona52 · 15/07/2020 17:46

Have to agree with others here. With all that is going on. I wouldn’t have the time, emotional energy or will do be worrying about something so little sorry. I went to. CoE primary school and I’m not a believer. It really is not going to have any impact if your little ones learning or out look in life. I’m far more worried about getting my child back into full time education. My husband keeping his job (half the company are getting let go over the next 6 months). My father being diagnosed with cancer and not being able to be there for him and my mum As he goes through it.

Mary54 · 15/07/2020 17:49

If you chose a CofE school then you must have been made aware that it would be oriented to Christianity - including the belief that God created the world. If he created it, why would you expect it to be yours and not his?

Margerine78 · 15/07/2020 18:09

I'd hate this but I'm an atheist so wouldn't send my kid to a religious school. If you have then you kind of have to expect it I guess.

bonbonours · 15/07/2020 18:13

I'm just amazed at how many people who are not religious are NOT bothered by this sort of shit from faith schools.
This is why I would never in a million years send my kids to a faith school.

Aglet · 15/07/2020 18:16

Whatever your religious faith or none, following Christian ideals wouldn't do any harm. I have nothing but wonderful memories of my Cof E primary school, which is more than can be said for my Catholic secondary.

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