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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel annoyed at school motto

292 replies

WeasleyWoman · 14/07/2020 15:23

DS's primary school is CofE state mainstream. Its official motto is love hope forgiveness or similar which is great but on all letters they now say. Learning for Life: Ready to take our place in God's World.
I guess this shouldn't matter but it pisses me off. Why is it his world? Why not our world? The children's world? It might as well say Learning for life: ready to bow to the patriarchy and conform.
Aibu

OP posts:
echodot · 15/07/2020 20:45

@WeasleyWoman

DS's primary school is CofE state mainstream. Its official motto is love hope forgiveness or similar which is great but on all letters they now say. Learning for Life: Ready to take our place in God's World. I guess this shouldn't matter but it pisses me off. Why is it his world? Why not our world? The children's world? It might as well say Learning for life: ready to bow to the patriarchy and conform. Aibu
YABvU Its a Cof E school so they are well withing their right to say this!
Komacho · 15/07/2020 21:10

@Aglet

Whatever your religious faith or none, following Christian ideals wouldn't do any harm. I have nothing but wonderful memories of my Cof E primary school, which is more than can be said for my Catholic secondary.
It depends on whose definition of 'Christian ideals'.
changeofheart1234567 · 15/07/2020 21:54

Most people have no option but to choose a religious school. Every single one of our catchment primaries is church. He’s bloody everywhere whether you like it or not! We don’t, so we teach our kids to consider that it’s like dealing with fairy stories and small children - it’s not real or true but you don’t spoil someone else’s fun.

Miljea · 16/07/2020 00:37

Oh, the irony.

But the disappointment. The ignorance.

Cheese, followed by Griselda

To feel annoyed at school motto
Goosefoot · 16/07/2020 03:10

@cheeseismydownfall

And did you know even in the fucking USA, a country with more adults who practice religion than in other developed country, teaching and symbols have been forbidden for more than 55 years after the Supreme Court issued its landmark ruling. It isn't complicated. The state has no business whatsoever favouring a particular religion - or any religion - being taught in our schools.
State secularism is the religion in American schools, and it's entirely deliberate.

The results speak for themselves, I think.

cheeseismydownfall · 16/07/2020 06:30

@goosefoot, I'm not sure. When my kids were in public (state) school in the US, I certainly didn't have any sense of that. It wasn't anti-religion, there was just an absence of religion (except in the context of studying and understanding different faiths). We found it surprising because almost without exception everyone we knew openly practiced their faith, went to church, included faith in their day-to-day narrative etc. But there seemed to be a complete acceptance that it didn't happen in public schools-it wasn't even questioned.There were plenty of low-cost faith-based private schools available for parents who wanted them.

My point is that the US, despite 'being more religious' than the UK, actively questioned whether religion belongs in state schools and concluded that no, it doesn't. France is another example.

CoffeeCup34 · 16/07/2020 07:04

This sort of bollocks is why we’re moving house, all four closest primary schools are C of E, we have NO CHOICE!

And I cannot accept that my children will be centering God and Jesus five days a week at school and that I have to counter it at home, I don’t think that’s a conversation I should have to be having with a four year old, “believe your teacher on everything except this one thing“.

So we’re leaving our beautiful home with all the associated costs of moving so my children can have as religion free an education as is possible.

DarklyDreamingDexter · 16/07/2020 08:31

If it’s a church school, why shouldn’t they have a religious motto?

Ace7 · 16/07/2020 10:40

OP I guess you somehow know deep down that you are indeed being unreasonable. This is a Christian school, why would they not say that? Sending your dc to a secular school may help your concern.

summerfish · 16/07/2020 11:00

This thread is the new "cancel the cheque", isn't it?!

JasperRising · 16/07/2020 11:21

@summerfish I was starting to think that!
"Your choice of a CofE school. Try changing schools if you don't like it."
"Not everyone has a choice - some places only have CofE schools."

Repeat ad infinitum...

wtftodo · 16/07/2020 12:01

My child’s school motto is Serve and Obey. I hate it. Looking forward to discussing it with them when they’re old enough to unpick it themselves.

For people saying “it’s a religious school, suck it up” - in many parts of the country there is no alternative but to send your child to a C of E school. OP, I would be annoyed too.

Tessabelle1 · 16/07/2020 12:18

All those saying you have no choice, there are 3 options, opt out of the religious aspects such as assembly, as you are entitled to do, change school where possible, or home school.

CoffeeCup34 · 16/07/2020 12:46

@Tessabelle1

All those saying you have no choice, there are 3 options, opt out of the religious aspects such as assembly, as you are entitled to do, change school where possible, or home school.
It’s not that simple, I spoke to the head at the local school to check how religious it was and it’s woven into every lesson, every part of the school day, even if I opt-out (and risk making my child into the weird kid whose parents don’t let them go into assembly) they’d still be wearing a uniform with I love Jesus or whatever printed on it.

I can’t afford to leave my job to home school, nor do I have the necessary qualifications to give a good education, and why should my children miss out on the friends and social experience of attending school that we are paying for through our taxes and that they are entitled to?

So our only option is to move house, it’s quite drastic and we like where we live but in all good conscious it’s the only thing I can do.

bookmum08 · 16/07/2020 13:07

CoffeeCup EVERY lesson ? Really? Even PE ? Maths? Maths is maths. How can they bring religion into their times tables. Are all the reading books Christian based stories? Every single one? Do they not have any Biff and Chip books?
I find that claim odd and I would ask to see lesson plans.

summerfish · 16/07/2020 13:27

One school we looked around was CofE (but not a faith school - eg it didn't admit on the basis of faith).

They prayed before school, then had a lesson, then came to assembly and lit a prayer candle and prayed. They prayed before they ate their lunch and again before the end of the school day.

They also had 3 x church services at the local church each term.

Their hall had a big poster of a cross and RECEPTION had stuck post it notes on it for things they wanted to say sorry to Jesus for.

4 year olds apologising to God?

No thank you.

This should NOT be anyone's local school with no other choice. But this is the reality.

Tessabelle1 · 16/07/2020 13:28

@CoffeeCup34 I'm with bookmum08, no way its woven into EVERY lesson! I went to a C of E school 40 years ago, when the country was decidedly more Christian than it is now, and guess what? I'm not a bible thumping preacher, in fact I don't believe in god at all. If you feel that strongly that you as a parent can't explain what faith and belief is in a way your child understands and your kids are going to be brainwashed then yes, you have no choice but to move house Hmm

CoffeeCup34 · 16/07/2020 14:42

[quote Tessabelle1]@CoffeeCup34 I'm with bookmum08, no way its woven into EVERY lesson! I went to a C of E school 40 years ago, when the country was decidedly more Christian than it is now, and guess what? I'm not a bible thumping preacher, in fact I don't believe in god at all. If you feel that strongly that you as a parent can't explain what faith and belief is in a way your child understands and your kids are going to be brainwashed then yes, you have no choice but to move house Hmm[/quote]
I specifically asked the head how religious the school was and her reply was that it was woven into every lesson, if the head is telling me that then I’ve got to believe her, haven’t I? I’ve also spoken to friends who send their kids there who have also said it is much more focused on religion than when they were at C of E schools 30 years ago.

My DH went to a C of E school years ago and as you said he’s not a bible thumper but as I understand it things have changed since then and it just goes against my principles to send my kids to a faith school, and as the four nearest schools are all C of E what choice do I have? I’m lucky I can afford to move.

MollyButton · 17/07/2020 08:26

I specifically asked the head how religious the school was and her reply was that it was woven into every lesson,

The head could say that but is "religious speak" and just means there is kindness and respect in every lesson.

MitziK · 17/07/2020 11:06

@MollyButton

I specifically asked the head how religious the school was and her reply was that it was woven into every lesson,

The head could say that but is "religious speak" and just means there is kindness and respect in every lesson.

And these days, they do have to say stuff like that. Otherwise, complaints are made to the Diocese and SIAMS inspections go less than swimmingly.
AlexaShutUp · 17/07/2020 11:13

The problem is not that the church school mentions God. The problem is that the OP does not have the option to choose a state-funded secular school.

Personally, I think all state schools should be secular.

RaraRachael · 17/07/2020 11:14

It's a church school so hardly surprising that they have a religious motto Shock.

If you don't approve of it, I'm sure there are other schools you could send your kids to.

cheeseismydownfall · 17/07/2020 11:34

rararachael

Why don't you just cancel the cheque????

EmmaGrundyForPM · 17/07/2020 12:24

@RaraRachael why don't you read the thread before commenting?

Tessabelle1 · 17/07/2020 12:38

@AlexaShutUp the OP doesn't say that at all. She has a problem with the motto being depressing and sounding subservient.