I am sorry OP if you have been hurt on other threads, either directly or by what you have read . The fact is there is a diet , as in lifestyle diet , problem. People come on MN and ask how to lose weight, why they can't lose weight, and people start talking it.
Personally, I do not fear nor dislike fat people.
This said, the French in me is shocked by what I see people eating, drinking and buying everyday and everywhere here in Australia.
You wouldn't see a French woman eating crisps on a beach, chips at a pool or carrying chocolate bars or snacks in her handbag .
Adults keep eating like children. Adults eating party food on a daily basis. People walking with massive milkshakes/smoothie/ frozen cola . We don't eat while walking. We don't take half our pantry to a football practice.
Many of my friends here are overweight, some a little, some a lot. They apologise while removing their top at the beach , they literally say, "excuse my belly", to which I answer don't be silly, sit down . They feel bad about themselves.
I don't see fat phobia , I see a broken culture who doesn't know how to eat. I see the influence of industrial food which pushes babies and toddlers to eat baby crips, melty puffs or "healthy" bars, rusks or whatever other food invention.
On Mumsnet , in general, I see people being kind. I don't see fat jokes. But yes we talk about fat, and for some, this makes us fat phobic.