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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the majority of you are fatphobic?

414 replies

Beebee8 · 12/07/2020 19:18

Just that.

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 12/07/2020 20:20

@Beebee8

This is a genuine question. Am I wrong? All I see is thread after thread with people showing complete ignorance re: health in relation to weight.
How do you feel people are misinformed about the adverse medical effects of obesity?
Time2change2 · 12/07/2020 20:20

Yes I am fat phobic- if you mean being scared of fat people? I am scared because the NHS in 20 years is going to be in a complete mess with all the health problems and complications from the ridiculous amount of obesit in the Uk. It will affect us all- our health and our wallets, fat or not.

BellyMama · 12/07/2020 20:27

@Time2change2 the nhs is already in a mess and gotta be honest I don’t think that’s solely the fault of fat people. I also don’t think fat shaming is the way to tackle obesity, it’s not worked for the last 20 years, why would it work now?

RyanBergarasTeeth · 12/07/2020 20:28

I think people are pissed off that society is becoming more and more obese, little kids to adults grotesquely overweight whilst social media tries to push big is beautiful. And the lies that come with it the "i weight 20 stone and can do the splits therefore i am much healthier than a skinny person." its not ok to encourage obesity and say its healthy or beautiful and thats not the same as being phobic or abusive. It is real concern that bariatric surgery is a big industry within health care. That the nhs does spent a lot dealing with bariatric patients and beds and ambulances will have to be made bigger like in america to deal with the growing epidemic. Corona virus is said to disproportionately kill overweight people but i assume its fatphobic to point that out too.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 12/07/2020 20:31

@RyanBergarasTeeth

I think people are pissed off that society is becoming more and more obese, little kids to adults grotesquely overweight whilst social media tries to push big is beautiful. And the lies that come with it the "i weight 20 stone and can do the splits therefore i am much healthier than a skinny person." its not ok to encourage obesity and say its healthy or beautiful and thats not the same as being phobic or abusive. It is real concern that bariatric surgery is a big industry within health care. That the nhs does spent a lot dealing with bariatric patients and beds and ambulances will have to be made bigger like in america to deal with the growing epidemic. Corona virus is said to disproportionately kill overweight people but i assume its fatphobic to point that out too.
This is absolutely right. And that comes from someone who eat their way up to size 22🤦
BayLeaves · 12/07/2020 20:33

Obesity is a bad thing. Alcoholism is a bad thing. Addiction is a bad thing. Chain smoking is a bad thing. Heart or lung disease are bad things. None of that is shameful, they're all just problems that we should try to overcome, not things that need embracing with positivity movements.

It's even a major risk factor for Covid death, but sure, lets pretend it's healthy to be fat. Hmm

Coyoacan · 12/07/2020 20:33

Faux concern over health

When I rule the world, I am going to ban the word "faux". There is a lovely young man in my local stationery shop who is immensely overweight and it breaks my heart. His quality of life and lifespan are being hugely affected. I neither hate him nor am afraid of him.

Fat is a health condition that we can all see. And personally I feel the same about anorexics.

Auntydarah · 12/07/2020 20:33

It's also not about being attractive. It is about fat people having a right to exist even if they are unattractive. It is about fat people being able to exist and not be stigmatised. Even if they have supposedly caused their own health issues by being fat. (not all day people have health problems).

I used to work with people in recovery from drug and alcohol addiction. Many of these people had profound health problems from their substance misuse. For example they needed liver transplants. I highly doubt many people would feel it was appropriate to blame these people for causing their own health issues. So why blame fat people if they have indeed caused their own health problems? It assumes that people willfully get fat and disregard health implications. It implies a moral blame meaning fat people are worthless or morally defective . When actually becominh fat is often down to a myriad of factors many beyond an individuals control. Such as: poverty, mental health, hormones, genetics, life experience, physical health issues and race.

People who are not fat or just carry a bit of 'extra' weight assume it is simple for fat people to lose weight. That it is a matter of eating less and exercising more. If this were the case I'm certain their would be many less fat people.

Flapjak · 12/07/2020 20:35

I think most people associate being fat 'morbidly obese' with being unhealthy. Whilst at age 20 ir 30 your body can be fat and still functioning well by 40 there will be long term impacts such as arthritis, impaired cardiaovascular function, asthma, diabetes etc.

Auntydarah · 12/07/2020 20:36

Also people talk about being a drain on health care. I don't (and won't) have kids. How much do you think each birth with antenatal and post natal care costs?

Original poster
Beebee8 · 12/07/2020 20:37

@Auntydarah thank you, if I could articulate my thoughts better those would have been some of them!

OP posts:
TimeWastingButFun · 12/07/2020 20:39

I don't have an irrational fear of fat people, only spiders! What an odd thought.

Rumbletumbleinmytummy · 12/07/2020 20:40

Yes there is a certain level of unfair treatment towards the obese, but theres also a level of unfair treatment toward anyone who is a normal size.

I'm hugely overweight. I've been the fattest person in any room I've been to for years so I've been in a lot of shitty situations. I've thought a lot of the time, if people knew how I got here, maybe they would be kinder but the truth is, no one owes me anything except for myself. If I want this to change I have to do it myself.

The truth also remains that many of us who are overweight do have health conditions related to our bulk and maybe in line with that we shouldn't be viewed too differently to alcoholics or drug addicts. I know this sounds extreme, but from personal experience, if things do not change for me I'm unlikely to be alive in 5 years and I'm not even 30 yet. Luckily things will change because I've saved to have private bariatric surgery and see a psychologist privately to change.

LEELULUMPKIN · 12/07/2020 20:42

Are you fat OP?

Auntydarah · 12/07/2020 20:43

@Beebee8
Thanks. I often feel like I'm rambling so that really nice to hear! Also nice that somone gets it., Maybe we should set up a support thread for the fat?!

BlackSwan · 12/07/2020 20:46

People are extremely judgemental of fat people. I think if you’re thin, you shouldn’t imagine that it’s solely because of your diet and lifestyle.
I’ve been thin all my life. However my son has an illness which often results in a condition called hypothalamic obesity. People with it have a damaged hypothalamus and suffer from constant hunger. It is a dire situation for them and their families, made only worse by the attitude of the general public towards obesity.

Doggyperson · 12/07/2020 20:47

Having been fat, overweight, obese, thin then fat again, I'm now thankfully slim.
Yes you are right, fat people are treated differently. My life is much nicer now I'm slimmer, I don't get stared at, I don't get strangers calling me names. I've almost forgotten what is was like to be fat.

I feel a little sorry for fat people because I know how hard it is to lose weight and the bigger you get the harder it is to lose.

The worrying thing nowadays though is, it's almost encouraged to love your fat body, enjoy all the food and sod the consequences.

huuunderickssss · 12/07/2020 20:50

Are you fat?
Fat isn't good for you so I try to avoid being it .. sadly I fail mostly but I'm only 10.7 so it's not too bad . I'm got and healthy and do sports so I think I'm ok.. why do you care OP ?

huuunderickssss · 12/07/2020 20:50

Are you fat?
Fat isn't good for you so I try to avoid being it .. sadly I fail mostly but I'm only 10.7 so it's not too bad . I'm got and healthy and do sports so I think I'm ok.. why do you care OP ?

Marpan · 12/07/2020 20:52

Lots of overweight and mildly overweight people are also completely rude to thin people.

“Eat a burger”
“Oh I bet she won’t eat carbs”
“Bet she throws up”

Works both ways. You don’t always know the reason for someone being thin, your post just proves that.

ResumetonormalASAP · 12/07/2020 20:52

I just had a quick google and there are 2 options:

  1. Fear or obsessive avoidance of consuming fat.
  1. Fear and dislike of obese people

Well the first - I eat quite a bit of fat so I'm not scared of eating it.
The second - I'm fat and I'm not scared of myself or other fat people.

I do think I look better slimmer, I feel healthier and my knees don't hurt so much when I am smaller and I do sweat more when I am fatter.

Icanflyhigh · 12/07/2020 20:56

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Original poster
Beebee8 · 12/07/2020 20:57

@LEELULUMPKIN

No, why?

OP posts:
honeyytoast · 12/07/2020 20:59

If fatphobic means thinking that it’s not all good and fine to be fat, then yes I’m fatphobic, and I’m fine with that

LEELULUMPKIN · 12/07/2020 21:00

Curiosity that is all.