To be judging new friend over this?

[bankofpennies]

So I have a new school mum friend. We’ve really hit it off over the past 6 months, nights out, coffees, day trips etc.
Let me start by saying I cannot stand people that lie. Being truthful is very very high on my agenda.
This is such a petty thing, but I cannot stop thinking about a lie she told me and its making me feel really on edge.
It’s such a teeny tiny lie. Basically when the weather was boiling I said that I was letting the kids camp out on the trampoline overnight with me supervising. Friend said “oh we did that last week. The kids loved it”
Earlier this week I was talking to friends husband and he was saying he was desperate to book a camping trip because the kids hadn’t slept under the stars this year. I replied “well at least they had the sleepover on the trampoline”
Husband then replied “yeah we didn’t bother with that in the end. It was too cold”
I suppose I’m on edge because one, she lied and two, perhaps she doesn’t feel comfortable enough around me and wants to lie to impress.
Would you just let it go or call her out on it?
I suppose I worry because if she lies about the small stuff then she could lie about other stuff.
Fully prepared to accept I’m being over sensitive! It’s just playing on my mind.

I think it shows an underlying problem - maybe she's insecure?

My sister is bad for fibbing but I know it comes from feeling a bit insecure which makes her competitive, and other than throwing out random bs now and again she's one of the best women I know. I guess you've got to weigh it up.

So you would believe your friends husband over your friend?

You're overreacting IMO but by all means gauge it but you need to be very careful. You don't know she lied so you're judging her unfairly.

Also, we ALL hate people who lie, this is not something innate to your moral compass and you need to pick your battles because everyone in the entire the human race tells white lies from time to time and give it enough time so will you (even if it's to save someone's feelings) so unless you want to end up with no friends I would keep that judgemental side under control.

I dislike judgemental people as much as I dislike liars. Food for thought.

Just let it go. It's really not a big deal. Now if it becomes a regular think where she's constantly lying then fair enough, but this is a tiny thing.

She's a show off, if you've done it, she's done it better. Would annoy the hell.out of me and I would keep her at arms length.

Could you have simply missheard her "we were going to do that, oh the kids will love it" Its a very small thing, I wouldn't end a friendship on that. But if she continued I'd call her out on it, there and then and wouldn't let it pass, but if it continued I'd let the friendship fade.

Say nothing but definitely red flag. I’m exactly the same about liars, can’t stand them.

This makes me squirm - I had a friend who’s lies started really tiny- then they became ridiculous! Seriously! She said she was working and could I look after her child- she was on a girls night out - plastered all over fb! Then she won the lottery but hasn’t had the money yet she’s just waiting for her cheque to clear- then seen buying 10 scratch cards! Just realise though, she IS a person - some people are a reflection of the parents that raised them or how life has treated them. I’ve not fell out with her, I just don’t really see that much of her anymore x

Maybe shes just a rotten liar and all your other friends are much better at it

We’ve really hit it off over the past 6 months, nights out, coffees, day trips etc.

Where do you live to have been able to do this during the last six months??

Wow people hare lying shock horror! Most people hate lying you’re not a paragon of virtue. This seems incredibly petty and silly on your side. If you had a whole list of things then maybe she’s deeply insecure and doesn’t know how to be herself. But this one off camping thing is pretty silly.

Where have you been able to do this over the last 6 months?

Op did come back to the thread to clear that up. She went out on nights out prior to the six months and has done some socially distanced meet ups during lockdown.

So not technically the "day trips, nights out" first stated. We won't be so petty to ponder on whether this is classed as a lie...

Both could be telling the truth? 🤷‍♀️ The kids DID love the trampolining. It was the parents who hated it (due to having to supervise in the "cold") and forced it to be abandoned.

I’m not going to cut her out of my life because of this. Well not just yet anyway

How noble of you.

I'd say be cautious if your instinct is telling you to.
Over lockdown caught a 'friend ' out on a lie about having Covid. She didn't. This was the final straw for me. I called her out.
I then discovered a seriously unforgivable lie. I will never speak to her again.
Billy bullshit will always be found out unless they have an impeccable memory 💩

Are you going to tell her about this thread? An omission is just as ‘red flaggy’ as a lie (some would argue worse). .

Blimey if that’s all you’ve had to worry about with her in 6 months then you should continue to be friends, but I’d question why she would want to be friends with you for being so judgmental!