Is being a short man equivalent to a women who is overweight?

[DreamChaser23]

i had this discussion with someone and I feel there is some truth in it.

Men who are overweight get away a lot more than women who are overweight I.e. relationships aren't as negatively affected compared to women.

And short women in height don't suffer as much as short men. Just look at how the media made people believe that most ideal men are meant to be tall over 6 feet. When in reality the average height of men is around 5 foot 9 IN the US and 5 foot 10 UK.

Being a short man and a women who is overweight does make it harder when it comes to relationships

I think you are being one-dimensional here OP
points can be added or subtracted for a variety of 'features'

I’m just under 5’7, he’s maybe half an inch taller than me with size 7 feet, bit of a dad bod but not huge. I’ve never been into anyone so much in my life.
XH was 6’2, about 4 stone overweight, though you couldn’t really tell with clothes on so much, and snored like a bloody walrus. I’m on team short guy now for sure!!
In my opinion excess weight is more of a turn off because for a lot of us it’s optional, purely down to not caring enough to fix it, as it happens my ex lost the weight in the last 6 months I lived with him and as a result stopped snoring, but it was too far gone and I was just angry that he didn’t bother sooner 😂

I can sort of see what you are getting at - short men definitely get treated very differently than short women, but I don't think the comparison with obesity really works. I agree with those who have said that short men have more in common with tall women.
All my children are short and skinny. The way people reacted to them was different, right from infancy. My DD would be described using words like petite, dainty and delicate. She did get teased a bit at one stage, but not badly and generally her height seemed to be viewed as a neutral or positive thing with rarely any major negative associations.
It is very different for boys. The number of times I have been asked if I am worried about my sons' size, been asked if there is something wrong with them, been offered unsolicited and nonsensical advice on how to make them grow, or had sympathy offered is ridiculous. And they are not that short. I imagine they will both be around 5ft 6 as adults, so yes, short, but hardly record breaking! They've both been bullied about their physiques and if they were unable to find themselves unable to reach something or to manage some other physical task they would at best be ignored, at worst be ridiculed. A woman in the same position is far more likely to receive offers of help.
Whilst it is probably "best" to be around average height, society is definitely kinder to short women and tall men than it is to tall women and short men. Which is ridiculous because there is no virtue in height - nobody chooses their height or does anything to "deserve" it. These attitudes also reinforce sexist stereotypes hugely as men with physical strength are considered superior to those with less, whereas being physically weaker, delicate and in need of help and protection are seen as positive attributes in a female. It is immensely frustrating at all levels. I've no idea what can be done about it though.

I get where you are coming from. Short girls are still described as beautiful but for short men 5 foot 8 and under the reaction is 'man let' OR "if only he was 6 foot he would be amazing'

I definitely agree with reinforcing stereotypes "I want a man to protect me" as if we live in the jungle. It also suggests shorter men aren't strong which isn't true look as Mayweather, Amir Khan etc all are around 5 foot 8 but are boxers.

Imo the only way we can deal with height and weight is by seeing what other stuff someone brings to the table. For example, if someone is nice guy and clicks with you personality wise but is only two inches taller than you surely that isnt that bad? Same with a girl who isn't Slim but she has a great personality and other great things you like. If people were more open and saw the bigger picture rather than height or weight.

For people that say "they aren't attracted to height or weight of certain individuals." One question you need to ask is why? And I have to say we are all guilty of this (the media portrayal, societal expectations etc..)

I've never judged men by height. The men I've been with have been between 5'5" and 6'6". I'm 5'8" and skinny/slim.

Make of that what you will.

Also you have to be realistic as an individual.

If you are a 5 foot 3 women you can't really say a 5 foot 8 man is too short when he is 5 inches taller than you

Or guys who are really overweight but expect to have a Slim model women....

Some people seem to live in Hollywood rather than reality at times what they see in the media/society definitely has influenced me

them

I am a tall (6ft) overweight woman, don’t have any problems dating or conducting relationships. Anyone who has a problem with my height or weight is irrelevant to me.

I think you're spot on, op

I also agree with the OP and not sure why some of the responses have been so angry.

DP is short. Taller than me by maybe two inches and I’m only 5’3. I do worry a little bit about how being short might impact our baby, especially if he is a boy.

I have quickly looked through the thread and can't see anything about this but forgive me if there is something.

No one has mentioned the problems that tall women have and the preference men have for a woman shorter than them. That means short women in theory have the biggest pool to choose from. I know several tall women who struggle to get dates.

Men who are overweight don't seem to have the same barriers as larger women.

The thing about height preference is its based in evolutionary preferences. Women are almost programmed to see men who are taller as successful food gatherers, whereas men go for proportions in women that indicate fertility (ratio between waist and hips).

So I don't think it's all purely about 'being shallow' as some have phrased it, nor is height comparible to weight.

Height doesn’t matter to me it’s build. If a man has slopey shoulders its a no, no matter how tall they are. My DH is 6’4 but my ex ia 5’7 both broad shoulders. I wouldn’t want to date a man shorter than but I’m 5’2 so it’s never been an issue.

The original post is worded badly, but I agree that short men and fat women both have a disadvantage in the dating game. The difference is, a short man can't get any taller, but a fat woman can lose weight, so actually, perhaps it's worse for the man in this comparison.

Honestly? I'm not attracted to men who are shorter than I am. I don't know if I've always felt this way, or if I've been traumatised by a bastard of an ex who happens to the shortest man I've ever dated. I can't date anyone who reminds me of him, because I really wouldn't want to replicate any part of that relationship again.

I suppose there's also the fact that any short men I've met through OLD have all lied about their height, and I really hate being lied to. I wonder if I would have felt attracted to them had I known upfront how tall they were. I don't know the answer.

I've dated a couple of tall men before, and there's something quite primal about being able to be wrapped into a hug by someone with that kind of height difference. On an instinctive level, it makes you feel protected. Plus they can reach stuff, and as a short person myself, I can't reach anything.

name changed for this but i am 4ft 11in and some woman are cruel.
They think its ok to say they dont want to date a short man but get all offended and say men should like a woman for her personality and not looks.
I dont judge others on looks but women get away with everything.
Theres all this pro body image for women but none for men

@SnuggyBuggy

Surely they have more in common with tall women

Yep. 6 ft 1 woman here who was slim and moderately attractive in my heyday. Generally, men don’t want to date women who are taller than them so when you are already taller than the average man it does limit options.

No one has mentioned the problems that tall women have and the preference men have for a woman shorter than them. That means short women in theory have the biggest pool to choose from. I know several tall women who struggle to get dates

Ok, this is going to make me sound like an arrogant twat but here goes- I'm 5'10" and have NEVER struggled to get dates. Ive had pretty much any man I wanted so I dont understand why people say this?
Unless you are talking extremely tall, like, 6'2" plus?

Yep. 6 ft 1 woman here who was slim and moderately attractive in my heyday. Generally, men don’t want to date women who are taller than them so when you are already taller than the average man it does limit options.

I’ve got a beautiful friend who is 6ft and her husband is about 5ft 8. Thankfully some men aren’t threatened by having a tall partner. She did say she found dating difficult generally. Men’s fragile egos.

I think it's very hard for short men. I once heard a friends dad comment "you should never go out with a short man, they will always think they have something to prove and be violent and luck fights"

My partner is 5'8 which is on the shorter end of the scale I guess. I'd never really thought about his height before 🤷

I dont judge others on looks but women get away with everything

I'm sorry but this really isnt true at all. Women have always been judged on physical appearances far more than men. Just look at all the magazines where women are told they are desperate and stupid for getting cosmetic surgery but then accused of letting themselves go when they dont. You never see that written about men do you? Ive never once seen a magazine article on George Clooney's crows feet- but I have on multiple female stars.

Look at Hollywood and how films partner really old men with young female actresses as the norm, you never see it the other way around do you? Western society very much dictates that for women to be desirable they should be young and slim. Look at the prevalence of eating disorders in the modelling community. You really are deceiving yourself if you say that "women get away with anything"- they really, really dont.

bernie Eccleston seems to do ok !

Very true op.

Not many women want short men. After looking at someone’s pictures the first thing I look at is height.

Anyone under 6ft gets passed by unless I think they are a 10/10 looks wise and then I go to 5’10

I think: if we are to generalise, women pity short men, other men despise them

I don't think other men despise short men at all. At least, I don't and I've never picked up that particular vibe from any of my peers. Yes, they may get teased about their height, but then so do I at 6'4". That is what men do.

'Being a short man and a women who is overweight does make it harder when it comes to relationships'

I think there some truth in that.

Most men dont seem to like overweight women and most women judging by previous threads on here really prefer taller men and a lot wont even consider anyone under 5 feet 10. So for those short men it really seems as if they are bypassed no matter how nice they are

And also there seems to be a bit of a stereotype around short men having a complex about thier height as a pp has said. For example asking the woman not to wear heels, making comments about the woman's height, having short man syndrome syndrome. It's not always true

Anecdotal yes but my dp is 5 foot 4 and I'm 5 foot 7. Hes quite comfortable with his height and never once has he asked me not to wear heels or walk in the road so he looks taller!

I don’t believe it is a societal influence causing me not to fancy certain traits (bald, short, fat, etc) however, I will accept that environmental factors do play a huge part in forming our personalities so there’s every chance. That being so wouldn’t change anything though. There are clearly women who will date short men so if they stopped lying on their profiles they may find it easier to find those women. There is nothing wrong with not fancying someone.