Is being a short man equivalent to a women who is overweight?

[DreamChaser23]

i had this discussion with someone and I feel there is some truth in it.

Men who are overweight get away a lot more than women who are overweight I.e. relationships aren't as negatively affected compared to women.

And short women in height don't suffer as much as short men. Just look at how the media made people believe that most ideal men are meant to be tall over 6 feet. When in reality the average height of men is around 5 foot 9 IN the US and 5 foot 10 UK.

Being a short man and a women who is overweight does make it harder when it comes to relationships

I do not find short men attractive. You can’t help who you are attracted to! 🤷‍♀️

I'm fat and my DP is short so not sure what that says about us as a couple. Maybe some people think we're both rejects who found each other .

I never had any issues on OLD but I certainly saw several profiles with the 'no fatties' disclaimer on them.
My DP definitely had less interest as a thin, short bloke than he'd have had if he was 6ft.

@PurpleFlower1983 I'm 5ft 10 and I've never had problems getting men or marrying

If we’re being totally shallow I would say a short man is similar to a tall woman

Nah. Look at all those female models - all tall, all highly desirable. There’s a reason they pick tall women to model clothes.

@mellowww, you can't credibly accuse other people of being superior, when you pity a whole group of people. I'm an obese woman (size 14), there's no need to feel sorry for me.

I have a physical type, I've tried to overlook it, but I need to be sexually attracted to the person who I'm dating. There's nothing shallow about that.

What a horrid sort of discussion. So I guess you are all men over 5'10

Man, 5'1"...

@DisappearingGirl why “shouldn’t” women rule him out if they don’t fancy short men? It’s not about fairness - people are allowed to fancy someone for any reason they wish! You can’t tell people who they should or shouldn’t rule out of dating. It’s not charity work. I have a long list of vetoes for dating it’s my own choice: short men, fat men, skinny men, men with brown eyes; men who haven’t been to university; men who are younger than me (or more than 5 years older); juvenile men; men with bad fashion sense; men without a job; men who own cats My list goes on and on and why shouldn’t it? Everyone has their own preferences. This isn’t a job application!!!

@Raella50
Exactly! Besides, men have PLENTY of physical deal breakers when it comes to attraction and who they will or won’t date so why shouldn’t women? Talk about double standards!

YANBU.

I've often thought that while women are judged more harshly on almost all aspects of physical appearance, height is one of the few cases where the reverse is true. If a woman is tall, she can be statuesque and model-like, if she's short she can be cute and petite. But men basically have to be tall. Yes, I know someone's going to come on and tell us she loves short men, but that's the exception. Generally speaking, height is very much admired in men and shortness considered unattractive.

And what's worse is that there's very little a man can do to hide it. Women can wear high heels if they want to add some height, and certain styles of clothes can flatter different body shapes. But a short man is a short man. Even wearing modest lifts in your shoes makes you a figure of ridicule.

If we’re being totally shallow I would say a short man is similar to a tall woman

Hmmm no. Shorter women tend to be more overweight than taller women.

I think women that are really tall (over 6') might be at a disadvantage but women 5'6-5'11ish tend to have long legs and be slimmer than short women. Especially if they're blonde, lots of men seem to find the Scandinavian look really attractive.

On a related but unrelated note I actually think there is such a thing as short woman syndrome.

@Raella50 well yes of course you can rule out short men or anyone else if you want to!

But I guess I feel like there's a difference between a) absolute "no"s (characteristics you could never fancy) and b) characteristics that you wouldn't go out and choose but actually you might be able to compromise on if you otherwise really like the person.

And I feel like OLD encourages people to rule out others for fairly trivial reasons that they can't help, when they might actually like and fancy the person based on all their other characteristics if they actually met them.

So if the majority of women rule out short men, and the majority of men rule out larger women, it just seems a bit lazy and a great shame for those people. I guess it gets amplified by OLD as you don't get to meet people where there's a spark that you never would have guessed on paper.

@DisappearingGirl why is it so difficult to understand that some women won’t fancy short men? There won’t be a spark. Even if he was a 5’3” Superman with charm, intelligence, humour and chat for days! I wouldn’t fancy him. It’s a no-go! Lots of women feel the same whereas some don’t mind. Is that nice for short men to bear? No of course not!! But they shouldn’t be lying about it and tricking women into dates. They’d be better off being honest and seeing who isn’t bothered.

@Raella50

I think people are talking in a more 'ideal world' thing, like how they say we should all recycle etc.

It's not pointing the finger at individuals.

I myself could not date a bald man, or a man with thinning hair. They have to have lovely thick hair, a good build (not matchstick skinny) and dress nicely in muted colours (no red shorts, pink shirts etc).

I guess height isn't a big deal for me because most tall men are skinny and I'm not attracted to thin men.

I’m shortish and fat. Never really had a problem attracting men. I am a goddess though 🤣
Also did online dating and was upfront that I wasn’t a size 10, or even a 16. Not much point lying if you plan on meeting them. Setting yourself up for hurt.
When people say it’s shallow to only like blondes with big boobs, why? If that’s what you fancy, that’s what you fancy.
I’ve dated men of all different shapes and sizes. In brutal honesty I’d date a short man over a fat one. My dating days are over (I’m assuming) dh is about 5’7 and chubby, he maintains he’s 5’10.
My dad was only about 5’7 and was an absolute bloody devil with women.
I think a short fat man is not often going to be everyone’s bag but there’s a lid for every pot.

If they are both of the same height then it must be down to the different size, shape and weight of the penis. I can’t think of anything else ?

No, because a person’s height is not a choice, but their weight is a choice.

@Raella50 yeah I totally get what you're saying, but I guess I think it's a grey area. If it's a complete "no" for you and you could just never ever fancy a short man, then fair enough, of course you shouldn't be dating people out of pity.

But I think there are loads of women for whom a shorter man wouldn't be their "ideal" and therefore they would rule them out on OLD, but actually there would be some they would actually fancy if they met them. Ditto men ruling out women based on boob size etc.

I'm a short thin man. In answer to the OP, I'm not sure if there is a direct comparison with either fat or tall women. I would say that I go through life being strangely unnoticed compared to my observation of other people's experiences, both men and women. Both fat and tall women have more physical presence than me, and that is what I feel I lack.

In some ways this is a positive thing. When I went out clubbing as a young man I didn't feel in any particular danger, being male and short . On the other hand, I didn't go unnoticed at school and was bullied by the other boys. It was a horrible experience and for the rest of my life I have preferred the company of women. @DollyDoneMore isn't quite right I think: if we are to generalise, women pity short men, other men despise them.

I do get a lot of jokes about my size. Also, until I grew a beard, people in public would sometimes think I was female. I laugh about both, but the truth is that I do feel unmasculine and that does get me down sometimes.

I think short men have it hard in most countries around the world,the ideal man is always tall. Overweight women have it hard in European countries(first world),whereas full figured women are the ideal in African countries and the Middle East etc , ideal beauty is dictated bu the society you grew up in,so it’s not always the same thing around the world. In my culture naturally slim women have it really hard cos they are always told to put on weight and that they will be beautiful if they had weight on,and only teenagers are meant to be slim.

@Wolfgirrl Ye I do see what you mean. I just don’t think women should be told they “should” date any type of man, as thouugh we owe them a go! No one does. Also I hate it when people misrepresent themselves, especially in dating. I remember in school seeing my friends stuff their bras an thinking it was ridiculous even then because the boys who like bjg boobs would be put off when / if you did successfully trick them and they found out!! Whereas the boys who liked small boobs/ didn’t care wouldn’t need you to be doing that!! What’s for you won’t pass you by!

I prefer shorter men. Not that this is what you asked.

I am married to a lovely guy who is only 5ft to my 5ft8, he's not had many relationships because of his height, but anyone one who turned him down because of this was a fool because he is the loveliest, kind, most caring man I have ever met and I feel extremely lucky to be his wife. I don't see his height, I see him for who he really is.

I forgot to mention that he is also very good looking and sexy and a far better man or lover than any tall guy I've ever dated.

I confess that I'm not attracted to men who are shorter than I am (I'm 5'7). My DH is 6'5, so I found the ideal nan for me. It isn't personal at all; it's nothing against shorter men, I'm just not attracted to them.

I'm overweight myself these days; there are a lot of men who wouldn't be attracted to me for that reason. It isn't a matter of discrimination, it's about attraction and it isn't something we can help. (Although calling a woman 'fatty' is never kind. If you're not attracted, that's fine but you don't need to be nasty about it.)