Is being a short man equivalent to a women who is overweight?

[DreamChaser23]

i had this discussion with someone and I feel there is some truth in it.

Men who are overweight get away a lot more than women who are overweight I.e. relationships aren't as negatively affected compared to women.

And short women in height don't suffer as much as short men. Just look at how the media made people believe that most ideal men are meant to be tall over 6 feet. When in reality the average height of men is around 5 foot 9 IN the US and 5 foot 10 UK.

Being a short man and a women who is overweight does make it harder when it comes to relationships

Also - why should anyone change or challenge their 'socially programmed' preferences just so that people they don't find attractive can have a go? Nobody is owed sex.

Nobody is owed sex

Yes, and who on earth would find that attractive anyway? "You arent my usual type and Ive had to work really hard to de-programme myself to fancy you, I'm trying really hard to find you attractive!"
Its just what every girl dreams of isnt it? lol

Anyone who is ok with having sex with someone who isnt 100% into it aswell is actually quite rapey in my opinion.

"I’ve asked around, and the most common explanation I get for female height preference is that they like to feel “surrounded.”

And I also think women in general don't want to be, not just taller, but also not bigger than the men they date.

I ascribe my general unattractiveness to this. I'm not terribly short for a man - just about 5 feet 6 - but I'm also 62 kg, and that's the most I've ever weighed. That's about 20% below the average weight for men where I live. I exercise a fair amount any I have a good figure.... there's just not much of it. I'd probably be more attractive if I got fat

An advantage I've had is learning to appreciate the good in the (few) women who have been willing to date me.. they're quite different to one another.

For me it's not so much about height it's more about physique, I like to see muscularity, wide shoulders, thick chest, flat belly
Legs and glutes need to be muscular but not too big and womanly looking

Good-looking, slim, funny - that's the guy I fell for, despite him being small! So did lots of other women. My gran used to say " They're all the same height when you're lying down next to 'em....."

I'm just saying that I wouldn't take catwalk models - tall, very thin, hard cheekbones, the rest of it- as an example of what's generally considered sexy for straight men, going by the reference material

lol what? supermodels arent "sexy" to straight men?
Yeah, dont agree with that. I grew up in the 90s- supermodels were virtual goddesses that everyone aspired to be like. I remember trying to get my hair like Cindy Crawford (I didnt succeed lol). They were the sexiest women on the planet.

90s supermodels were oozing sex, that's true. But catwalk models these days, for example Anja Rubik? She is very beautiful and unique in her looks, but I don't think she's what most straight men would consider 'sexy'. So I think I know what the PP meant.

@GoddamnGodBless

90s supermodels were oozing sex, that's true. But catwalk models these days, for example Anja Rubik? She is very beautiful and unique in her looks, but I don't think she's what most straight men would consider 'sexy'. So I think I know what the PP meant.

I beg to differ.

Anja Rubik is out of the league of nearly all men. Some might scarper in an intimidated mode but most wouldn’t believe their luck.

Yes I don't think many of them would be going "sorry love, you're not my type"!

I had to google Anja Rubik- yeah the poor love must really struggle to get a date! 😆

I'm not sure if debating whether this or that model is attractive to men is the point of this discussion. The point is whether their height is a major impediment to their attractiveness. I don't believe it is. I agree that some of the super skinny models seen on contemporary catwalks may not be the male ideal (for what it's worth) but I think that's more to do with their extreme thinness rather than their height. If they were 15 cm shorter, it wouldn't make a huge impact on their 'hotness' - or lack thereof.

That’s true iced purple. I do think that someone like Anja would find a date very easily when compared to a man who was very short for example. So therefore I don’t think that height is such a factor for women as it is for men. That’s the point I guess.

The vast majority of men prefer slim women
The vast majority of women prefer taller men

Anja Rubik? Not attractive?

Say what?

As a mid 40's man of 5"2 and now with the added bonus of thinning and greying, I've come to the conclusion that I will leave this mortal coil with my cherry well and truly in tact!

I gave up with OLD after years of either no replies or replies ranging from "sorry but that's too short for me" to "ha ha ha that's tiny!"

(and yes - I tried putting that I was taller, got more replies, only to get knocked back again as soon as I gave my real height - be that straight away or after exchanging a few messages and building a bit of a rapport.)

Or "I could never date a short man 'cos we'd look silly together when I'm wearing heels" - Can you imagine if a man said "I could never date a blonde woman 'cos her hair colour would look silly in my Vauxhall Nova!"

On the plus side, the money I've saved with not dating, having kids, etc. has meant I could retire early. And I often pass the time lurking here and chuckling to myself at all the posts about the lazy, feckless, cheating partners who are presumably much taller than me!

Seriously ladies - give us shorties a chance - Nobody wants us, so the chances of us having the opportunity to stray is even smaller than we are!!

@managedmis

The vast majority of men prefer slim women The vast majority of women prefer taller men

Are the vast majority of men in relationships with slim women, and are the vast majority of women in relationships with six footers? Would be interesting to know.

Wtf your fat phopia is rank @DreamChaser23
You assurm being overweight negativly effects women's relationships. I literally pity your backwards views.

@someonem

I'm really sorry to hear you feel that way.

I will say though, I have dated men shorter than me in the past and it was THEM who told me not to wear heels. I never mentioned our heights ever. So, I dont think its fair to say its the woman who always has the issue with height. Every man ive ever dated who was shorter than me has always commented on my height (eg Youre TOO tall etc). I cant help being tall any more than they can help being shorter!

I watched a video recently about attractiveness and it was really interesting. It was about the fact that there are two types of attractiveness: 1. Physical beauty 2. Perceived beauty

1. Physical beauty is what you physically look like and cant do much about (although i guess with plastic surgery these days you kinda can). So, height, hair colour, facial features etc.

1. Perceived beauty is how attractive you are to others based on your character, your job, your social skills, your confidence etc.

Therefore, you can be physically not very attractive BUT you can still be perceived as very attractive based on the way you interact with people. If you have charisma and charm people will view you as much more attractive than you might physically actually be. I'm sure we've all experienced this when someone stunning does something mean or unkind and therefore you suddenly perceive them to be ugly and when someone who isnt naturally blessed with good looks has magnetic charm you find them irresistible. I think its very true and it means that just because you arent physically blessed, you can certainly make yourself appear more attractive by other means.

@AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter

I watched a video recently about attractiveness and it was really interesting. It was about the fact that there are two types of attractiveness: 1. Physical beauty 2. Perceived beauty

1. Physical beauty is what you physically look like and cant do much about (although i guess with plastic surgery these days you kinda can). So, height, hair colour, facial features etc.

1. Perceived beauty is how attractive you are to others based on your character, your job, your social skills, your confidence etc.

Therefore, you can be physically not very attractive BUT you can still be perceived as very attractive based on the way you interact with people. If you have charisma and charm people will view you as much more attractive than you might physically actually be. I'm sure we've all experienced this when someone stunning does something mean or unkind and therefore you suddenly perceive them to be ugly and when someone who isnt naturally blessed with good looks has magnetic charm you find them irresistible. I think its very true and it means that just because you arent physically blessed, you can certainly make yourself appear more attractive by other means.

I don't quite agree with that analysis.

To give an example: My last boss was physically very attractive. She was also a sociopath. However, the fact that she is a horrible person didn't negate the fact that she was also very good-looking. I didn't stop considering her good-looking when I discovered how horrid she was, although of course I did think that if I were a man I would not want to date her despite her good looks.

It is true that some people have a 'certain something' that makes them 'hot' even though on the face of it they're quite ordinary looking. And of course in the scheme of things, especially in a long-term relationship, looks aren't that important. However, physical attractiveness is a thing in and of itself. The fact that Naomi Campbell threw phones at her staff didn't stop her making millions purely from her looks, to give one - admittedly rather extreme - example.

Its definitely true for me personally. If I was on a date with a very attractive man for example but he was monosyllabic and had no conversation bar his gym routine for example, his attractiveness would definitely wane.

If I then went on a date with someone not as physically hot but who had banter and charm, I can see myself finding them very attractive!

Are the vast majority of men in relationships with slim women, and are the vast majority of women in relationships with six footers? Would be interesting to know.

No, because as the song goes, 'you can't always get what you want'.

People tend to end up with partners who are similar to them in every way - age, education, income, interests, and yes, physical attractiveness. I know this is MN so people will insist on coming up with anecdotes about how James and Sarah down the road are completely different from one another, but statistically, it is true for most people.

So that means that if you are very physically good-looking - tall, slim, with attractive facial features, chances are you'll end up with someone equally attractive. However, real lookers are a minority and there simply aren't enough of them to go round. So if you're less attractive, you'll probably partner up with someone who's also not a head turner.

Most of us don't get to pick and choose from the most attractive people, but the point is that, if they could choose, most women would go for tall men and most men would go for slim women. Not sure why anyone is arguing to the contrary, because such preferences are very well-established.

@AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter

Its definitely true for me personally. If I was on a date with a very attractive man for example but he was monosyllabic and had no conversation bar his gym routine for example, his attractiveness would definitely wane.

If I then went on a date with someone not as physically hot but who had banter and charm, I can see myself finding them very attractive!

Well yes, I don't disagree with you on that.

My point is that having a horrible personality doesn't mean that a person is no longer good-looking. They are still good-looking: iit's just that their personality defects make the 'package' less attractive as a whole.

That's why I took issue with your claim that "I'm sure we've all experienced this when someone stunning does something mean or unkind and therefore you suddenly perceive them to be ugly". I don't. I can see the person might be a very kind or pleasant individual and I would not want to have a relationship with them, but that doesn't mean they are physically ugly.

Both lower your 'capital' in online dating.

I clicked with this guy on line, 5'7". I thought we'd got on great and i got a text a few days later to say he was unavailable. :o
Wow. Between Saturday night and Tuesday morning. Not all short men lack confidence. Some are just as entitled as the taller ones.
Men also give weight to what they do have going for them though.