Is being a short man equivalent to a women who is overweight?

[DreamChaser23]

i had this discussion with someone and I feel there is some truth in it.

Men who are overweight get away a lot more than women who are overweight I.e. relationships aren't as negatively affected compared to women.

And short women in height don't suffer as much as short men. Just look at how the media made people believe that most ideal men are meant to be tall over 6 feet. When in reality the average height of men is around 5 foot 9 IN the US and 5 foot 10 UK.

Being a short man and a women who is overweight does make it harder when it comes to relationships

@Russellbrandshair

Hell, I've been invited to be involved in that stuff, and I'm definitely no catwalk model. I assure you there are plenty of brunettes and small breasted women in there

Glamour modelling uses a particular image though, it looks porny and I’ve never seen a glamour model with very small A breasts! If you google glamour model you will see very similar images. A very narrow range of “beauty”. Also some glamour models are tall!

Glamour modelling is one part of it, and yes, that aesthetic is huge boobs. There's more than glamour modelling out there. You may be surprised at just how diverse it is. I know I was. As for "porny"...tbh I'm not sure what is meant by that, given how diverse porn can be, but that's usually a matter of styling. Change the hair, makeup and clothes (if you're using them) and a woman can look very different. Even just the poses can make a huge difference. Most people can tell the difference between an artistic nude and a pornographic image, even if there's no difference in makeup and hair style.

I'm not going to debate the exclusive point of being tall all day. I'm certainly not saying men are never attracted to taller women. There are sites dedicated to tall women; some men absolutely worship them. I'm just saying that I wouldn't take catwalk models - tall, very thin, hard cheekbones, the rest of it- as an example of what's generally considered sexy for straight men, going by the reference material. Again, I'm not saying they aren't beautiful or that men are never attracted to them. I'm just saying that that aesthetic is very different to what you find in the stuff that's intended to spin men's wheels rather than showcase high fashion.

In other words, I wouldn't look at catwalk models and say, "See, men in general go for taller than average women!"

I wasnt aware glamour modelling was so diverse, no! The porny look I refer to is the classic huge boobs, lip filler, fake lashes, fake tan look. Like Katie price.
Either way, I would still say that tall women are not comparable to short men because height is a desirable characteristic. I agree with OP that a better equivalent would be overweight women.

In other words, I wouldn't look at catwalk models and say, "See, men in general go for taller than average women!"

I don't think people are saying that men generally go for taller women.

Just that height in a woman doesn't correspond to shortness in a man. Height is - generally speaking - considered very important for a man, not so much for a woman. A woman can be considered attractive at almost any height, but short men are at a distinct disadvantage in the physical attractiveness stakes, however much some MNers may insist that this isn't the case.

I’ve been watching Love Island Australia and also Married at First Sight (my guilty pleasures)

In Love Island one guy came into the villa (Jaxon) who everyone said was good looking, but they couldn’t ‘get past the height thing’. Allegedly he’s 5’10!! They all want someone who’s taller than them when they’re wearing heels, and apparently that means at least 6ft for a lot of women.

In MAFS they coupled up a woman with a regular height guy who was really sweet and good looking, and she really struggled as she turned up on her wedding day with heels on and that made her taller than him in all their photos. You could just see she wasn’t into him at all, like she just couldn’t see past it. But once they got to know each other they seemed to get on really well. I can’t imagine a similar response from a man when he sees that his bride is a bit overweight. It’s like the worst possible insult to a man when he meets a woman and she’s not as slim as he thought she’d be. I was talking about blind dates to a friend the other day and said “for a woman, the worst thing that can happen on a date is he’ll rape you or murder you. For a man, the worst thing that can happen is she’s a bit fat”.

FWIW I was talking to DP about his weight loss recently - he’s lost 35lb and I’ve lost 15lb so he’s going to overtake me any day now! I got a bit upset about the prospect of him being smaller than me and said “imagine we were both trying to grow a bit taller, and we both tried really hard, and you grew a bit, but I grew a whole foot and ended up taller than you. That’s how it feels!” so I can definitely see a relationship between the two.

Yeah, I'd agree weight in women is a better equivalent to height in a man.

Oh dear. Is this that Earth thing you call "cross purposes"? No harm done.

@IcedPurple I agree. The ideal for a man has always been 'tall, dark and handsome'. For women, height isn't of any particular significance at all. Weight is important, as is hair colour (long blonde hair is the ideal for a lot of men).

I'm just saying that I wouldn't take catwalk models - tall, very thin, hard cheekbones, the rest of it- as an example of what's generally considered sexy for straight men

Really? you dont think straight men found/find claudia schiffer, cindy crawford, naomi campbell, adriana lima, Doutzen kroes, irina shayk, cindy bruna, and a host of other victoria secret models sexy? 😳
I dont agree with that at all.

Really? you dont think straight men found/find claudia schiffer, cindy crawford, naomi campbell, adriana lima, Doutzen kroes, irina shayk, cindy bruna, and a host of other victoria secret models sexy? 😳
I dont agree with that at all.

Me too. Models are some of the most highly in demand women. They might never meet women like that, or find them out if their league but there’s no doubt someone like Adriana Lima is very attractive to most men.

With regard to ideal look you're trying to pin down something dictated by fashion, that changes alot

Current overall trend is still big booty's, big tits, big lips, big lashes than model type beauty imo

there’s no doubt someone like Adriana Lima is very attractive to most men

I'm just imagining adriana lima slinking up to the average man in a pub and him saying "no thanks love, youre too tall and unattractive for me!"

hehe!

One female = woman, more than one = women. No-one ever mixes up men and man, see this A LOT on mumsnet (sorry if yours was a typo)

Exactly! There are plenty of men who enjoy physical attributes too. It’s hardly tougher for women out there!! I’m slim and have fabulous boobs but I don’t have big thighs and booty and seems to be the trend. That means certain men just won’t be attracted to me. That’s fine!! Also we don’t ALL like the same thing, it’s personal preference. I love tall men but I don’t like “tall dark and handsome” - I’m all about the blondes!!! Freddie Flintoff PLEASE!!! My husband looks very similar and is gorgeous, honestly just gorgeous. Some women wouldn’t fancy blonde men, why should he care though when women like me love it. A shoe for every foot!

*its definitely tougher for women

It is funny the image that is conjured up in people's heads when you mention a single adjective.

When somebody says 'tall men' you instantly think of tall dark and handsome, whereas they're more likely to look like the BFG or something.

Equally with overweight 'curvy' women, you think of Kelly Brook with long glossy hair and big boobs, whereas most overweight women look more like Amy Schumer.

It is impossible to measure attractiveness based on one thing, it is about the whole package.

Really? you dont think straight men found/find claudia schiffer, cindy crawford, naomi campbell, adriana lima, Doutzen kroes, irina shayk, cindy bruna, and a host of other victoria secret models sexy? 😳

I dont agree with that at all

I agree. The idea that straight men would find the likes of Rosie Huntington whitely or Helena Christensen et al unattractive is ridiculous. That’s why they all date rock stars, A list actors and millionaires lol

Yep dating or marrying a supermodel is pretty much up there with big success. Only a few get the chance obviously.

Beautiful, tall, thin women generally do well, although you see posts about them having a harder time on mn, oddly.

I'm a sliver under 5' and remember doing a sliding scale thingy on a dating site once where once it goes under less that 5'0 less than 10% of men were 'available' from their preferences.
However in real life I've never had a problem attracting men.
This 'wishlist' culture of online dating is deeply disturbing

Oh dear. I kinda agree with OP.
I'm 5'9 and a size 20. My hair is quite short.
I can confirm my poor dating history and absolute dearth of dates/being asked out or approached.

I don't like it. Doesn't make it untrue. Mind yo8 I had bad luck as a 14/16 too, so ...

When I was younger I was described as amazonian. I assumed it was an insult.

My dh is shorter than me. He is such an attractive, amazing man. He is 5.5 I am 5.7. He has had so much stick and been the brunt of 'short jokes' ALL HIS LIFE. Its constant, especially by other men, work colleagues, my family you name it!! People love to pick on him for being short! He handles it very well but its sooo boring now.....he does say, imagine if I was to take the mick out of someone because they're overweight, what's the difference or how judged would I be if I said I dont want to date someone if they're not slim.

imagine if I was to take the mick out of someone because they're overweight, what's the difference or how judged would I be if I said I dont want to date someone if they're not slim

Taking the mick out of someone because of their physical appearance wouldn't be very nice.

However, there's nothing wrong with preferrring to date those who fit certain physical criteria. Depending on how easy it is to find people who meet those criteria, you may be limiting your options, but that's up to you.

I agree. The idea that straight men would find the likes of Rosie Huntington whitely or Helena Christensen et al unattractive is ridiculous. That’s why they all date rock stars, A list actors and millionaires lol

Yup. Not too many short, dumpy trophy wives out there.

how judged would I be if I said I dont want to date someone if they're not slim

Well considering how many men specify "slim women only" on their dating profiles, I dont think anyone would make an issue of this at all.
Rightly or wrongly.

Yup. Not too many short, dumpy trophy wives out there

Yes, very true. Thats why all the A list celebs have some tall, supermodel type hanging off their arm, you rarely see them out with a short "glamour model"

Tbf people do make fun of fat people so it’s not like it doesn’t happen

No one should be making fun of anyone. I have specific physical preferences and I often see people I personally wouldn’t want to date out and about but you keep that to yourself of course. Not every thought has to be verbalised.