To cancel a wedding abroad that 40 guests have paid to attend?

[Justwondering82]

We are due to get married abroad in March next year. So far we have only paid the deposit for the venue, remaining balance not due until January. However our 40 guests have paid for their package holidays to attend, some have only paid deposits and some have paid full balances.

The only reason I want to cancel is because I don't think it's going to happen. With covid, the possibility of a second wave and social distancing etc I just do not realistically see how it will go ahead. We were having the wedding next year and buying a house the year after, but we've got enough sat in our savings for either a house deposit or the wedding. A house has come up that we love, it's in the perfect location and is just everything we want. We can't get the house and not cancel/postpone the wedding as we wouldn't have enough left in savings to cover both if the wedding was to go ahead. We would ideally want to postpone the wedding, but god knows the long term impact this will have on travel especially for a large group of us. We don't want to be impacted by social distancing either. I'd rather cancel and just see how the next few years pan out?

What do I do?

@FudgeBrownie2019

Cancelling because of Covid is one thing. Cancelling because there's something else you'd like to spend your money on seems a little off. But those travelling will surely have travel insurance to cover their costs?

Yes, I agree with this. I understand your dilemma, but there will be other houses. Don't start married life with your friends and family feeling a bit pissed off with your thoughtlessness.

Perhaps now you realise how stupid it is to have a "dream wedding" when you can't afford a house but I think it is totally wrong for you to do this to all your guests !

Geez. Stop with the pile on.. she update FFS

Could you simplify the wedding?

Small beach affair with a buffet or local BBQ type meal?

It would reduce costs and you may be able to afford both?

I’d speak to the travel agent now and see how the land lies, they may suggest something you haven’t thought about

OP I think you could probably say something to your guests like, “In light of the covid situation, we are not hopeful that the wedding will be able to be held as planned, and therefore we have decided to cancel the wedding. We understand that many of you have already paid deposits or flight tickets for the event. We do not want our event cancellation to be a hardship for anyone, so in the case that you no longer wish to take the holiday and are unable to change or get a refund for whatever you have already paid, please do speak to us and we will be glad to help out.” If we received that message, we would just sort ourselves out without contacting the bride and groom. It’s important for your guests to know that you understand they may have paid a lot and are willing to shoulder that burden, but I can imagine most would take the hit themselves or at very least seek out refunds with the companies first before contacting you. And if the destination is good, they may still want to take the holiday.

We have paid in full for flights to a wedding in December, and if the couple cancel we will not be upset. We know it will be even harder for the bride and groom to forfeit their event.

There is a 3rd scenario most likely scenario, airlines are operating and hotels are open, but traveling is full of unpleasant restrictions and comes with a wonderful bonus of fear of getting sick.

There really isn’t any good solution though. If op cancels the wedding, people lose their reason for the trip in the first place. If she doesn’t cancel, people will feel extra pressure to actually use their reservations.

Insurers won't pay out once the advice to only travel if essential is lifted. And it's likely that will happen very soon. No chance it'll be in place come March and you know it. You just want an easy get out as you've changed your mind.

I say this as someone who cancelled a wedding (non COVID related). But am abroad wedding people have shelled out for? You just can't do it without paying for what they've lost. And not next March, now.

@Justwondering82

I posted on AIBU, got told I was being unreasonable, I took that onboard and said that's the end of it. Is that not what this topic is for? I asked, you answered, I listened! It never came from a malicious place, more that I'd given up hope. I wouldn't prefer the house, I'd prefer my wedding but I was convinced it wouldn't happen and didn't want to miss out for nothing. I will happily miss out on this particular house for my wedding. I just didn't think the wedding would happen. I'm not looking for excuses to get a house instead, we'd lose thousands in our wedding deposit, all my planning would be wasted time, I'd be gutted and I have already said all of this - please RTFT! I know IABU and I am no longer thinking about cancelling. I know if Covid calls it off we will all get refunded because I made everyone's bookings (one large group booking) and I've been in touch with our agent. If it can't go ahead due to pandemic, we can reschedule or get refunds, not that it matters now, as I'm leaving it as is and hoping you're all right and my wedding will go ahead.

sadly people are still not reading your replies

OP SAID
I know IABU and I am no longer thinking about cancelling
I know IABU and I am no longer thinking about cancelling
I know IABU and I am no longer thinking about cancelling
I know IABU and I am no longer thinking about cancelling

I'd be very annoyed indeed if a wedding was cancelled and I had already forked out to go.

Oops

Thick as mince, some people on this thread.

Enjoy your wedding, OP!

Nowhere did OP say they were no longer thinking about cancelling. They said they had taken it on board, but they had checked and somehow COVID will mean the guests get their money back.

You can have RTFT and still point out the glaring holes in logic

Can you afford to refund 40 people’s flights and hotels? You are looking at a hefty amount to repay so you might not be able to buy the house anyway. If I’d paid and you just changed your mind as is the case here I’d be pretty dam furious and it’s not just the money, people will have booked holidays from work, so there inconvenience there too. Unless you refund everyone now and give them adequate notice to change leave requests I think you might be low on numbers for your rescheduled wedding. Personally I’d probably reject your second invite.

On the plus side your wedding will be cheap without any guests.

If the holidays can't go ahead due to covid everyone will get a refund. Surely this will be the case?

And what if holidays aren’t cancelled but you’ve cancelled the wedding?
They won’t get a refund then.

@thewisp she said she's leaving the wedding as it is, i.e. not cancelling.

I'd be furious if you did that. If you cancelled because you did t want to get married then that's different. But to cancel because you want to buy a house, I'd not be happy. If you have to cancel for covid at least people could claim on travel insurance. If you cancel now. They can't.

I only wish the OP had paid by cheque.

Just read the full thread, hope things do work out for you with the wedding, good luck!

THE OP IS NO LONGER GOING TO CANCEL HER WEDDING.

JESUS, it's easier than its ever been to read the op's posts before you post yourself.

This is why there should be an option to close a thread once the issue has been resolved

OMG OP has already accepted she was wrong. She doesn't need 20 more people telling her how awful she is

^Exactly. The OP hasn't actually cancelled her wedding so there's no need for all these posters frothing at the mouth.

However, the OP posted the thread on AIBU, so she must have expected this response.

You're using Covid as a thinly veiled excuse for the fact you'd rather spend your money on a house. Thus leaving your (assume entire) close family and friends out of pocket.
How you can consider this is beyond me. You should have thought long and hard about your financial situation and the consequences of prioritising your wedding.

You're using Covid as a thinly veiled excuse for the fact you'd rather spend your money on a house. Thus leaving your (assume entire) close family and friends out of pocket.
How you can consider this is beyond me. You should have thought long and hard about your financial situation and the consequences of prioritising your wedding.

@1940s

You're using Covid as a thinly veiled excuse for the fact you'd rather spend your money on a house. Thus leaving your (assume entire) close family and friends out of pocket. How you can consider this is beyond me. You should have thought long and hard about your financial situation and the consequences of prioritising your wedding.

Oh, fuck me.