To cancel a wedding abroad that 40 guests have paid to attend?

[Justwondering82]

We are due to get married abroad in March next year. So far we have only paid the deposit for the venue, remaining balance not due until January. However our 40 guests have paid for their package holidays to attend, some have only paid deposits and some have paid full balances.

The only reason I want to cancel is because I don't think it's going to happen. With covid, the possibility of a second wave and social distancing etc I just do not realistically see how it will go ahead. We were having the wedding next year and buying a house the year after, but we've got enough sat in our savings for either a house deposit or the wedding. A house has come up that we love, it's in the perfect location and is just everything we want. We can't get the house and not cancel/postpone the wedding as we wouldn't have enough left in savings to cover both if the wedding was to go ahead. We would ideally want to postpone the wedding, but god knows the long term impact this will have on travel especially for a large group of us. We don't want to be impacted by social distancing either. I'd rather cancel and just see how the next few years pan out?

What do I do?

[ConstantlySeekingHappiness]

@Justwondering82

Again, thanks everyone. I have already taken it onboard and said you're all right so please don't keep piling on. In my mind I wasn't leaving anyone out of pocket as Covid is inevitably going to cancel it and they'll all be refunded. You have all said IABU, I have taken it on board and given my head a wobble. The thread has served its purpose so thanks.

I think you’ve convinced yourself the wedding will be cancelled because you’d rather buy the house.

And how can you be certain your guests insurance will cover them for COVID? Have you read every single guests insurance policies?

[nevermorelenore]

I've had two weddings of friends rescheduled for next spring: April and May. People are already going back to Europe for holidays, and gatherings of 30 will be allowed soon, so can't see why a wedding abroad wouldn't be able to go ahead. Unless it's somewhere outside of Europe that has been seriously hit.

[ForgotAboutThis]

If I was a guest I would be annoyed, but equally life happens and things change. So I'd go on the holiday and chalk it up to one of those things.
However if you the rescheduled for a couple of years down the line, I would not spend the money to attend.

[FrankieDoyle]

Covid isnt "inevitably going to cancel it" where did you get that idea?

Up to you OP but you would need to refund your guests in full if you cancel.

[Starbuggy]

It’s only reasonable if you refund the guests if they can’t get refunds from the provider or their insurance.

And even then you’ll lose a lot of goodwill. But these are people prepared to spend a lot of money on your “dream wedding” so they might be able to get over the hassle of it.

It does very much sound like you want it to be cancelled due to Covid so you can spend the money in a house instead and not feel guilty because it’s not your fault.

[Ellie56]

Is there any way you can do both? Are your parents able to lend you money?

[Justwondering82]

I posted on AIBU, got told I was being unreasonable, I took that onboard and said that's the end of it. Is that not what this topic is for? I asked, you answered, I listened! It never came from a malicious place, more that I'd given up hope. I wouldn't prefer the house, I'd prefer my wedding but I was convinced it wouldn't happen and didn't want to miss out for nothing. I will happily miss out on this particular house for my wedding. I just didn't think the wedding would happen. I'm not looking for excuses to get a house instead, we'd lose thousands in our wedding deposit, all my planning would be wasted time, I'd be gutted and I have already said all of this - please RTFT! I know IABU and I am no longer thinking about cancelling. I know if Covid calls it off we will all get refunded because I made everyone's bookings (one large group booking) and I've been in touch with our agent. If it can't go ahead due to pandemic, we can reschedule or get refunds, not that it matters now, as I'm leaving it as is and hoping you're all right and my wedding will go ahead.

[unlikelytobe]

Lots of folks are already going on or planning hols and many are hopeful things will be loads better by the end of the year, never mind next. Sure, there may be second waves and spikes but it's looking increasingly impossible to keep things locked down. Your guests are looking forward to something to celebrate abroad.

Think positive!

[OpenWheelRace]

@TokyoSushi

You can't leave 40 guests out of pocket because, if you're honest, as comes across from your OP, you've changed your mind and would really rather use the money on a house.

UK wedding that nobody has paid anything for, fine, do what you like. But if 40 people have booked and paid then it's already gone too far and you'll need to go through with it really.

This.

This really doesn't sound like it's a Covid decision, but a "we actually realize its more sensible to spend the money on a house" decision, to the massive detriment of your guests.

[SockYarn]

That's awful. You have basically forced people into spending money to travel to a destination of your choosing for your wedding.

Now you're thinking of cancelling "just because" of worries about what things might be like in 9 months time?

Downright selfish.

[Willowkins]

Anything could happen between now and next year. You've made a plan and it sounds like you're going to stick to it now. If your wedding ends up being make-do-at-home at least you'll still have your friends around for you to make a special memory. Your ideal house, or a better one, could still be on the market the year after that. Now be at peace.

[Cheeseandwin5]

Sorry OP, I know you were floating the idea and as many have pointed it wasnt a very fair one to your guests. I am glad you have decided to go ahead with the day as planned. Like many have said I doubt your guests or you would get a full refunds on funds paid.
I am sorry about potentially losing the house, its a shame when these things happen and hope it stays available to you.

[Somethingkindaoooo]

I read this as - you want to cancel,but that's ok because:

1. No covid- your guests still get to go on a holiday which wasn't of their choosing
   
   
2. Covid- it will be cancelled.
   
   
   Either is a bit poor, but glad you have taken this on board.
   
   
   By the way, if guests can all cancel and get all their funds back,then sure, cancel

[SJaneS48]

I really really wouldn’t assume they’d all get their money back, no problem. As a lot of us have found with summer holidays booked this year, it really isn’t that simple! What if they haven’t taken out travel insurance? And if they have, the bride cancelling the wedding as her priorities have changed is really not going to fly as a Claim with insurance companies! Flights costs (especially at the moment) are a pig to reclaim. Insurers will expect your guests to try and get the money back from the Airlines and Hotel before coming to them. If your guests flights are cancelled because of Coronavirus, this might not happen till 2 weeks before and then they might only be offered flight vouchers, not a monetary refund. As for the Accommodation, their chances of getting their money back will depend on what basis they’ve booked on, some might have gone for a cheaper and non refundable option.

Personally, if I was one of your guests the chances of me wanting to speak to you again if you didn’t immediately offer to compensate me for all cost incurred would be limited. I really can’t believe you think this is any way shape or form an acceptable thing to do to people I assume you care about!

[Jaxhog]

People need to read the whole thread!

Good luck Op - I hope the wedding goes ahead as planned.

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

But those travelling will surely have travel insurance to cover their costs?

Travel insurance doesn't cover for the scenario that the couple getting married have changed their minds!!

I would be mightily pissed off if I'd booked a holiday around a wedding and then the wedding was called off for no good reason. Very selfish of you.

[Ihaventgottimeforthis]

Not to say this is the OP's situation, as she has reiterated she would rather have the wedding, but isn't it a bit odd for someone to have to go ahead with a wedding they don't really want any more, just to save their guests a bit of cash?

[SJaneS48]

Sorry OP, just read your last post and the above is my first thoughts on your first two posts. I think you are making the right decision and good luck!

[SockYarn]

Also travel insurance wouldn't cover "was planning on travelling for the wedding but the fickle bride to be would rather spend the money elsewhere".

[MassDebate]

I think you’ve confused the issue a bit here: you’ve taken the view that you may as well cancel now as Covid will mean it gets cancelled anyway. The point is though that if you do cancel now, your guests are screwed unless Covid means they can cancel later - if they can’t, they’re stuck with a trip they probably wouldn’t want other than for your wedding. It’s not like you can reinstate the wedding once you cancel, if things turn out to be ok after all.

[MrsCollinssettled]

It's one thing to cancel because of a further Covid outbreak or you've split up, entirely different if you've just changed your priorities.

If your guests haven't taken out an insurance policy that covers event cancellation (normally an add on) they won't be able to get their money back unless the flight/hotel etc are closed due to COVID. Not only that but they may have to wait until after March to claim and have the grind of pursuing all the suppliers for refunds.

Morally you should cover their costs. Have you any idea how much that will be? The costs could include flights, transfers, airport parking, hotels, car hire, kennels/catteries, if it's a ski resort or somewhere like Disney there could be passes as well. They may not have booked and paid for all of it but deposits could have been paid which would be lost.

As a guest I would be unlikely to go to a rearranged overseas wedding in case that got cancelled due to another change in plan e.g if you decided to put it off again due to pregnancy.

[Isthisfinallyit]

s Covid is inevitably going to cancel it and they'll all be refunded

You can't know this. The chances are higher that it won't be cancelled. Half of the world is already going on holiday now. They will only cancel if Covid is really bad by then, but at the same time it probably won't be as bad as it was because we understand social distancing (mostly) now, the treamtments will be better and there might even be a vaccine. So actually I think that the chances are very high that it will go ahead.

[Isthisfinallyit]

s Covid is inevitably going to cancel it and they'll all be refunded

You can't know this. The chances are higher that it won't be cancelled. Half of the world is already going on holiday now. They will only cancel if Covid is really bad by then, but at the same time it probably won't be as bad as it was because we understand social distancing (mostly) now, the treamtments will be better and there might even be a vaccine. So actually I think that the chances are very high that it will go ahead.

[ThousandsAreSailing]

OMG OP has already accepted she was wrong. She doesn't need 20 more people telling her how awful she is