To cancel a wedding abroad that 40 guests have paid to attend?

[Justwondering82]

We are due to get married abroad in March next year. So far we have only paid the deposit for the venue, remaining balance not due until January. However our 40 guests have paid for their package holidays to attend, some have only paid deposits and some have paid full balances.

The only reason I want to cancel is because I don't think it's going to happen. With covid, the possibility of a second wave and social distancing etc I just do not realistically see how it will go ahead. We were having the wedding next year and buying a house the year after, but we've got enough sat in our savings for either a house deposit or the wedding. A house has come up that we love, it's in the perfect location and is just everything we want. We can't get the house and not cancel/postpone the wedding as we wouldn't have enough left in savings to cover both if the wedding was to go ahead. We would ideally want to postpone the wedding, but god knows the long term impact this will have on travel especially for a large group of us. We don't want to be impacted by social distancing either. I'd rather cancel and just see how the next few years pan out?

What do I do?

I agree with what others have said but I see you have accepted that now. I think there is a good chance it will be able to go ahead, call me foolishly optimistic but I would be hopeful. What I could see happening more than it being cancelled due to Covid, is a situation where you are allowed to go and there are no refunds, but some people might not feel comfortable with it. That won't be your fault, you can talk to them about that if and when it happens, you might not even have that to deal with.

I think it’s selfish enough to book a wedding abroad in the first place TBH.

@HermioneWeasley

“Dream wedding” . Are you 8?

And ‘dream house’. I think a dose of reality is needed.

@iffymiffy
Good job you’re not invited to OPs wedding then really isn’t it and therefore your opinion isn’t relevant 👍🏻

Perhaps I come from a different planet, but I really cannot understand this whole "destination wedding" thing. The importqant part is the marriage itself, whether in church, at the registrar or whatever. The wedding is celebrating this marriage - actually just a party, like a Christening or Confirmation . I know so many people (from all over the world) who have done this "destination wedding" thing and have ALL had to go to the registrar in their home country to have the marriage officially and legally recognised..

I think MNHQ should start issuing suspensions for posters who DO NOT RTFT. Enjoy your wedding OP!

You can’t do that to your friends and family CIA you fancy a house instead - that’s proper crappy. They won’t get full refunds unless the venue cancels and the hols company cancels them.
If you do this you need to be prepared to refund ALL guests

If people are flying abroad now I do not see why you think it will be cancelled next Spring. There may be quarantines depending on where the wedding is and whether there are local lockdowns but who knows. No crystal ball here. Regardless it is unfair to book a wedding abroad and ask guests to pay to get out there and then change your mind and leave them out of pocket. That is the problem with destination weddings. They are expensive for guests to attend.

My god I'd never speak to you again

@BringMeTea

I think MNHQ should start issuing suspensions for posters who DO NOT RTFT. Enjoy your wedding OP!

Particularly as they have now introduced a fantastic new feature that allows you to read all the OP’s posts at once without anyone else’s in between! There is Lib linger any excuse!

No longer.

I've always detested overseas weddings [other than in cases where the bride is from the destination country], it's such an imposition on people to expect them to give up so much time and money.

I think my cousin was surprised when I declined an invite to his, which was being held just round the corner in Cuba.

I think that OP should go through with it and hope to be bailed out by 'do not travel' advice. There's an excellent chance of this happening IMO.

Enjoy your wedding OP, hopefully it will be fine and I'm sure your guests will have a lovely time.

God this thread is irritating between people not reading the full thread (or even the OPs updates especially since there is a feature that allows you to do that!) and those that feel the need to criticise how you want your wedding and how to describe it (no-one asked for opinions on weddings abroad) there really is some horrible, nasty people on here.

I would be furious if you cancelled and didn't give enough notice to get a refund or change the date. I suspect most of these people are only going for your wedding and it wouldn't be their choice of holiday date or destination. Do the right thing.

@rattusrattus20

I've always detested overseas weddings [other than in cases where the bride is from the destination country], it's such an imposition on people to expect them to give up so much time and money.

I think my cousin was surprised when I declined an invite to his, which was being held just round the corner in Cuba.

I think that OP should go through with it and hope to be bailed out by 'do not travel' advice. There's an excellent chance of this happening IMO.

what about if the groom is from the destination country?

OP, I've read your replies and can see you've bowed out. I'm posting just for discussion:

Would you really not speak to the couple because they cancelled their overseas wedding? Really? I can imagine I'd be annoyed for a bit (just from the inconvenience of not needing to travel) but I wouldn't ditch my friends because of it 🙄

I’d just like to clarify something for people generally though, as I think a lot of responses on here got mixed up between Covid cancellations and insurance.

1. If you book a package holiday and it gets cancelled by the provider (which is what would happen if there was a Covid-related travel ban) then you will get a full refund under the Package Travel Regulations, including ATOL protection if the travel company goes bust. People might be offered vouchers but they have the right to decline and ask for a cash refund.

1. If the couple cancel the wedding because they want to buy a house instead then the holiday company will not refund and it is unlikely that travel insurance will cover it either.

1. If the wedding was cancelled because of something beyond the couple’s control eg one of them died, travel insurance might possibly cover that, but it depends on the terms.

1. If Covid still allows travel but makes the holiday less appealing due to closure of facilities, social distancing etc, probably no refund or travel insurance cover, but potentially a theoretical right to sue for your money back in the basis that the holiday is not what you paid for- likely too complicated and costly to pursue, but threat could be used as leverage to get travel company to give you a hol somewhere else instead.

Apologies, didn't see the follow up.

Good call and I hope you get the house and to have your wedding.

Where is the wedding supposed to be?

I think that if its somewhere in Europe, you will absoluetely fine. Elsewhere its a bit more uncertain.

However I think you are beyond the point that you can not now cancel unless its cancelled by the circumstances beyond your control as it will cause you too many issues with family and friends.

That might leave you between a rock and a hard place in terms of house v wedding, but ultimately I think its beyond your control; cancelling the wedding will leave you out of pocket and unable to afford the house anyway.

People are literally going on holiday now, I don't know why you are pretending that it's "unlikely" to go ahead in March next year. Presumably to make yourself feel better about your shitty decision...

I think people have read the full thread but still can’t believe what a CF OP was being

You can't cancel. If you cancel to financially protect yourself but then it can technically go ahead your wedding guests (most likely) won't get a refund. Do you want to do that?

Carry on, if it gets cancelled then you'll get a refund. If that's good enough for your guests why isn't it for you? I also personally wouldn't be overly nervous about March, a lot of time for things to happen, we will be much better adapted as a society to the virus by then.

How much would they have spent? I don’t think YABU for thinking about this. Before Covid we spent a lot of money on a dream holiday. Even if we can go, I now don’t want to. I don’t trust what will happen if one of us get sick while abroad. There’s a lot of potential issues with going abroad. It’s not magically going away until there is a vaccine and I’d say you’d be silly just to blindly spend more money. Is it possible to work out how much you would owe people? If it means paying out 10k to your guests and being able to buy the house, it might be worth it?

If your wedding is cancelled and you've paid in full you will get a refund. It would be really out of order just to cancel yourself on the off chance it may not happen. March isn't a normal time for people to take and book holidays. They wouldn't be going if it wasn't for your wedding!

FFS. RTFT people. Are you blind?

I am. I got to the end of the thread with no issues 🤔 so can't use even severe visual impairment as an excuse.