AIBU to be upset at pittance food cost offering?

[Lincspeeps]

Six of us are going to the south of France in a fortnight.

DH, me and DS (aged 16)

We have had a gite booked for ten months. The parents of DS's friend paid 10% of the cost towards this - £250 - and as we are driving down we are covering petrol etc.

The boy's mum gave me her final payment this morning (£100) and said 'I've included some money for food etc too'.

She'd added £30. To feed a 16-year-old boy for a fortnight.

AIBU to be a bit annoyed about this? We hadn't asked them to pay towards food so maybe I should be grateful we received anything but I just feel it's such a paltry amount it's hardly worth giving.

YABU

You asked for £250 she gave you £280. Why are you moaning??

I agree that it was cheeky to expect them to pay 10% when the costs of accommodation and petrol would’ve been the same with or without the friend. So the whole amount is really for his food and board, so you’ve done quite well out of it really.

You need to ask for what you actually expect, not ask for X when you’re expecting Y and then be surprised when you get X plus a little bit extra

Just read your correction post- apologies! So it's the four of you going.
Surely the gite would have cost you the same either way to rent- so you're £250 up there to begin with.

I have nothing to add. I only hope you are very kind to this young man and don’t take your annoyance out on him.

I think YABU. If you wanted a contribution you should have been very clear at the outset.

We always end up with another child on our holidays as our daughter wants company, I’ve never asked for a penny and the other child gets treated exactly the same as ours. They usually get sent with some spending money but not even that always. Personally if I couldn’t afford to have an additional child with us I wouldn’t invite them. At the very least you should be clear about what contribution is expected way in advance.

You should have stated what you’ll likely be eating (sandwiches? expensive restaurants? fast food?) and then asked him to bring the money with him. Perhaps he’s taking his own spending money with him anyway... you should have been clearer as you were the one inviting.

Another one here worrying how they are going to be treating the lad whilst they are there.

OP sorry but you deserve the pasting!

If you invite, you pay. That is the consensus here, no question.

I think you are very rude to complain about the £30. No class at all.

Mostly amazed at the number of posters who think £250+30=270

If I invited DC friend to go with us somewhere, I wouldn't expect their parents to pay anything at all. YABVU. Try being more generous - or else don't invite non-family on your trips.

I am just gobsmacked you asked for money towards the accommodation that would have been the same cost whether friend comes or not. If you look at it like that then £280 for food is a hefty contribution. I hope your face did not show what you thought as you will probably be the talk of the school come the autumn

We need more details. It's all about what (if anything) was agreed at the time regarding costs.

Think if you invite someone to enhance your DC's happiness on holiday (be honest that's what it is!) then you should be the one to suck up most of the cost.

My DS (14) has been away with friends and I didn't give them any money directly. I gave DS money to pay for himself and when I picked them up I took lots of thank you gifts for the parents.

I dont understand why they are paying or where the £280 has come from at all - why 10%? And certainly not accommodation costs - I could understand if they were flying and she was paying the flights but you’re driving so the cost is static regardless. I would well imagine the gite cost is the same too. Because it certainly comes across as they are already subsiding your own family’s holiday and you have the audacity to be put out by her giving you even further money. Blimey that some brass balls you’ve got!!

We're off this year again with DS and a mate of his who came with us last year - parents are paying for his flight and we will cover everything else, wouldn't have it any other way. He brough a lot of spending money and i let him spend it treating our DS if they wanted to, there was't much spending opportunity anyway, so whenever they wanted to buy crisps etc that was fine.

It wouldn't occur to me to be miffed about an extra £30. I do see what OP means, in that it wouldn't last more than a day or so with an average teen, but it was a nice gesture anyway I think

The bloody nerve of the woman! Turning up on your doorstep, giving you money you didn't ask for, cheeky cow
Storm round to hers this instance and throw the moneyback in her face
Some people have to learn not to take liberties
🤣

I see so many posts on here about inviting a child’s friend on your family holiday and expecting their parents to pay. They are providing company for your child in your holiday, you should pay. It’s really odd to ask them for money. I would expect the child to bring some spending money but not to contribute towards meals etc.

I say this who has no problem with inviting people to a birthday meal and splitting the cost!

Feed the lad for three days and take him back healthier and lighter
Seriously, the South of France is not cheap. If it was me, I would have given around £150 food allowance, because it may be one of the best holidays he ever has.
As it is, he is getting a two week holiday in paradise for £300 - that is a winner - for him, not the OP.

Should have been £280 not £300

Inviting someone's child on holiday then expecting them to pay is the height of rudeness. I hope you spoke to the parents before the lad; people who put me in the position of having to be the killjoy that says no to an invite they've given one of my kids really piss me off.

The accommodation and petrol is not going to cost any extra so you've got £280 to feed him.

Unless when you originally explained it to her and agreed the cost you specifically stated that you wanted extra money for food then you're being a bit over the top.

Perhaps she can't afford anymore than that and thought that was a reasonable offer

When I was younger I was always able to take a friend on holiday (also driving to France) and to my knowledge my friends parents didn't contribute towards it - we weren't well off either, we just made it work

I wouldn't expect any money towards accomodation or petrol if asking my kids friends to come on holiday, spending money for them and a contribution for food/activities I would expect.

I have to agree OP that you shouldn't invite kids to come on holiday with you if you cannot or do not want to absorb the costs.
It is very unattractive behavior.

I would never invite a child along and then expect them to pay. Seems rude. What's happened to hospitality? It can't add anything much to expenses if you've got a gite for 6 people?

Yabu. If you wanted her to pay for food also you should've said so £30 is better than fuck all imo

I am astonished at OP.

If a self-catering property that sleeps 4 costs £1,000 per week and three of you go, it still costs £1,000 if four of you go ! Likewise the petrol to get there. You have made a profit here.

Now, the food is a separate issue. In OP’s case to expect any more money is greed in the extreme. But if you are paying for all the travel and accommodation with no contribution, then it should be arranged in advance what the system is for eating out etc.

Lively thread last year concerned a poster’s ds who had accompanied a friend on a hotel holiday and after ordering steak the family had asked for a contribution to meals. It was clear that OP’s family weren’t short of a bob or two (the teen ds had his own car) but there was considerable grumbling about the situation.