AIBU to be upset at pittance food cost offering?

[Lincspeeps]

Six of us are going to the south of France in a fortnight.

DH, me and DS (aged 16)

We have had a gite booked for ten months. The parents of DS's friend paid 10% of the cost towards this - £250 - and as we are driving down we are covering petrol etc.

The boy's mum gave me her final payment this morning (£100) and said 'I've included some money for food etc too'.

She'd added £30. To feed a 16-year-old boy for a fortnight.

AIBU to be a bit annoyed about this? We hadn't asked them to pay towards food so maybe I should be grateful we received anything but I just feel it's such a paltry amount it's hardly worth giving.

[Stellakent]

I'm confused by the OP - are there 6 people going or 4? Either way, unless you specifically ask for money for food then this is a nice gesture by the mother. How much would be the right amount?

[KnobblyWand]

So... you didn't ask his parents for a contribution towards food, and now they've offered some money towards food without having been asked to, you're upset it's not enough?



This is why I really dislike people who aren't upfront about things. They say and do nice things but inside they're seething martyrs.

[dottiedodah]

I think if you are asking a chum along to keep DS amused ,then thats a big bonus in itself! I would think that £30 is fine really .She has already paid the 10% which is £250.00 anyway! Look at it this way you have got 10% off booking and a few bottles of wine to boot!

[Chewbecca]

YABU
I wouldn’t have asked for anything towards the gite in the first place, you were going anyway. The only expenses they should cover are his food costs & you have £280 towards that IMO which should be fine.

[LaurieFairyCake]

She shouldn't have been paying at all for accommodation or petrol as it's no extra to you - so you count the whole £270 as food.

[Minniee]

Oh god I've never ever expected an invited child to pay towards accommodation.

I'd be shocked if one of my DCs has been asked to, especially for a gite holiday that presumably you'd have selected the same one whether they had come or not?

I think she's probably feeling that YABU.

[Cheeringmeup]

I think if you're taking a friend of your child on holiday with you, and it has no impact on your accommodation costs, they shouldn't be expected to contribute towards that. If you didn't ask for a food budget contribution, you can't really complain about it being too little.
My daughter's friend came with us a couple of years ago. No additional accommodation costs, so her parents paid for her flight and gave her some money for food. The girls did their own thing most days, so bought their own snacks/lunches etc. We all had dinner together every night (5 of us total) and daughter's friend paid the bill one evening as a 'thankyou'. We were delighted with that.

[Ickabog]

@DinoGreen

My DS is an only and if we ever invite a friend of his on holiday with us when he’s older, I will not be expecting the friend’s parents to contribute anything. The friend is providing company for your child no?

This /\/\

The friend is coming to provide company for your son, so personally I think asking for any money is pretty cheeky. Especially as I doubt one extra person would alter the price of the Gite.

[KnobblyWand]

Is this a reverse?

[BigBadVoodooHat]

I'm confused by the OP - are there 6 people going or 4?

The OP often takes her DD and one or more of her daughter's friends on holiday with them, so probably got confused about how many of them are going on this holiday.

[Headshoulderskneesandtoes22]

My (very wealthy) friend from school’s family used to take me on holiday with them. They never asked for money. My mum used to bake a cake and send it.
Currently staying in a self catering unit. We had a spare double bed so asked DB and his GF to join us. We haven’t asked them for money. DB just offered to pay for lunch- we refused. YABU.

[HUCKMUCK]

If you don't communicate about agreeing costs from the outset, you can't really complain if they don't give you what you think they should.

It is a minefield as what some people think is reasonable, others won't agree.

We invited DSs friend to come on holiday and before even asking we had worked out what we needed them to cover - very little as it happens but that was based on what we could afford.

[Spied]

I think it's really cheeky getting the friend to pay towards accommodation.
Presumably you'd have been paying the price it cost whether he came or not.
I wonder if this boy was invited and all excited about going then you dropped the £250 bomb on the family and they felt, by this stage they couldn't say no ( to you or their ds).
Sounds like this holiday won't be much fun and the poor kid will feel the eyes on him at every drink or piece of food he consumes.
Lighten up.

[SweetPetrichor]

The only additional cost to you is food...so count the whole amount as food. You don't invite a child's friend on holiday then charge them X% of the costs! I am an only child and when we went away we would sometimes take my friend and her family were not expected to pay a penny towards it.

[Quartz2208]

Yes she is trying to make a nice gesture and probably spent time thinking about the right amount presumably decided on that for some nice wine for you

[Cadent]

Why is it cheeky to ask for money for accommodation?

Presumably OP booked a bigger gite to accommodate the friend.

Anyway, looks like OP isn’t coming back.

[jessstan2]

When you take a friend on holiday you don't usually ask for anything towards the cost. Presumably the gite didn't cost any more than if you had gone without your son's friend so you are quids in. Give the £30 to the boy for extra spending money and forget it. If you'd wanted food money you should have said at the start.

[LittleGwyneth]

How much extra is DS friend going to cost you, when you factor in that he's paying £250 for presumably the same size gite you'd have had without him, the same size car to get there without him, and his food? I'd imagine you're probably up on the deal.

Like everyone else has said, I thought the policy was that you pay for your own flight (if you're flying) and the family you're with pay for the rest of the costs.

[RedOasis]

I think you should have discussed costs up front before agreeing. Unfortunately you didn’t do that so think you just need to be grateful they gave you any money. Perhaps it’s all they can afford given it would be an unexpected expense for them. They would factor his food with their food bill but probably not have ‘ separate’ money to hand out ?

[Ickabog]

@Cadent

Why is it cheeky to ask for money for accommodation?

Presumably OP booked a bigger gite to accommodate the friend.

Anyway, looks like OP isn’t coming back.

Pretty unusual to have a Gite that sleeps just 3 people. It's much more likely there was a spare bed / space for the friend.

[Aloethere]

If she had to pay the 250 in instalments it sounds like money is tight. Presumably, she is trying to do her best, I wouldn't go onto a forum and post about her like this. Imagine scraping so your kid can go on holiday and then seeing yourself being slated on a forum.

[HighlandPeach]

I can’t imagine charging a guest for accommodation or food. You’re quids in already if they’ve paid for part of the accommodation that you would have hired anyway

[AllsortsofAwkward]

This thread hasn't shown you in the best light and feel for the boy and his mother. Do them favour get this thread deleted before the media picks it up.

[AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken]

@Aloethere

If she had to pay the 250 in instalments it sounds like money is tight. Presumably, she is trying to do her best, I wouldn't go onto a forum and post about her like this. Imagine scraping so your kid can go on holiday and then seeing yourself being slated on a forum.

Agreed! £30 is enough for a really nice meal for the four of them (if they’re self catering) or a day out somewhere. I can’t believe that £0 would have been better!
Can you imagine being that poor kid on that holiday? It looks like he’s going to be sneered at for two whole weeks.

[Toptotoeunicolour]

If you didn't mention anything at the start, you should expect nothing. It is not unusual to take extra kids away for a while and to pay for everything as long as they are gone.