AIBU to be upset at pittance food cost offering?

[Lincspeeps]

Six of us are going to the south of France in a fortnight.

DH, me and DS (aged 16)

We have had a gite booked for ten months. The parents of DS's friend paid 10% of the cost towards this - £250 - and as we are driving down we are covering petrol etc.

The boy's mum gave me her final payment this morning (£100) and said 'I've included some money for food etc too'.

She'd added £30. To feed a 16-year-old boy for a fortnight.

AIBU to be a bit annoyed about this? We hadn't asked them to pay towards food so maybe I should be grateful we received anything but I just feel it's such a paltry amount it's hardly worth giving.

[ErickBroch]

So yes YABU

[HeddaGarbled]

I think you’re being mean. Presumably, he’s coming to keep your son company. It’s good they are making a contribution.

[SandlakeRd]

@Sunnydayshereatlast

We once took ds's friend abroad. No cost asked or offered. They huffed at getting him a passport!!
He took spending money (50 euros for 2 weeks) and flaunted bags and bags of sweets in front of my dc. Once loaned ds a euro and nagged him for it back.
He was an ungrateful little shit.. Between him and my ds they ruined the first week.We sent them home on a plane.
Both 14 /15..
His dps weren't happy I insisted I get the 70 euro plane ticket money back...
Never ever again.
Good luck op.

You sent your 14/15 year old son and his mate home early from holiday on their own! What did they do that was so bad?

There have been a few times I would like to have done that but never had the balls!

[AllsortsofAwkward]

Would the cost of the accommodation been the same if he wasn't coming along? If so you're massively unreasonable you already got £270 which would cover food costs and in terms of petrol if he wasn't going you would still incur the same costs.

[ChangeThePassword]

Its not much, but she may well have based it on how much she spend per person, not factoring in that is not expensive to eat when away due to not having anything in the cupboards already. And it's more than you expected, so it's really a bonus.

I'm curious as to who the other two people are! (not that's it's relevant, but it's odd to specify four out of six. I wouldn't be nearly so curious if you'd just said six of us, one of which is DS's friend)

[heartsonacake]

YABVU. You didn’t ask for a contribution towards food and if you invited him you shouldn’t begrudge having to feed him.

[UmbrellaHat]

I hope the other boy's mother is not on here -very outing!

[KitKat1985]

I you asked for money towards food then £30 is a bit mean.

But since you didn't ask for any money for food then surely it's good of them to give something anyway?

[FlameFartingDragon]

Why did they pay ten percent of the gite? Surely the boys will share a room and it won't be any additional cost if just the three of you had gone?

[GreyHare]

I think you should be grateful she has paid you more than expected! When my parents took my friends on holiday they paid for holiday and food, seems most bizarre inviting a child on holiday to keep your son company and then expect the parents to pay for full board and lodgings.

[DinoGreen]

My DS is an only and if we ever invite a friend of his on holiday with us when he’s older, I will not be expecting the friend’s parents to contribute anything. The friend is providing company for your child no?

[AteAllTheAfterEights]

Surely you’d be hiring the fire and driving anyway so All the money to cover food?

[Panicmode1]

Do you ask for contributions towards a meal if you invite your DS's friends to a birthday party? Surely it's the same principle - if you invite someone to something, you expect to cover their costs. Unless you have had a conversation with the parent when you invited the child and said we'd love X to come with us, but it will cost Y, then YABU.

[BigBadVoodooHat]

We hadn't asked them to pay towards food

So if they'd given £0 that would have been fine, but £30 is crap of them?

[CantSleepClownsWillEatMe]

I think it’s really tight to invite your child’s friend and then expect the parents to pay towards food and accommodation. Surely if you want a friend along to keep your dc company you budget for the additional food? The accommodation is presumably the same price whether there are 3 or 4 of you staying there so really you’ve not done too badly at all with their contribution of £280!

[SophieB100]

Personally, I think that if you invite someone, you pay for them.
Otherwise, it all needs to be laid on the table beforehand, the costs of everything, then no problems further down the line.

[Chochito]

YABU as you didn't ask her for money for food or anything other than the accommodation.

Typically in these situations I think the parents of the guest child pay for flights and then give their child some cash to cover ice-creams and drinks for his or herself and perhaps to treat their friend (the inviting child) to a few snacks too.

[Rose789]

If you invite a child anywhere surely the expectation is you pay for everything? Unless it is made very clear up front i.e john can come but it will be X amount then the parents can say yes or no
If you haven’t had that conversation then YABU

[cariadlet]

We've taken a friend of dd's on holiday with us a couple of times. Her parents paid for her flight and insurance. We paid for the rest.


I think that if you have an only child and take a friend, then you need to think of it as something which you do to stop your child being bored/lonely and make the holiday more pleasurable for them. You don't think of it as doing a favour for the other child. That way payment doesn't even cross your mind.


In the OP's case, the gite would cost the same if it was just the parents and ds as it would with the addition of the friend. So you're effectively being given £250 plus an extra £30 - a total of £280 to feed the friend. I think you've come out very well and should be rubbing your hands together, thinking about how much better off you are rather than complaining.


As you're asking them to subsidise the accommodation, I'm surprised that you didn't also asked them to subsidise your petrol and any other fixed costs!

[Mamette]

Did you invite him? Then he’s a guest. You don’t ask guests to pay for their food.

What if he arrives and goes to the supermarche himself with his own money and then tries to cook his own seperate meals while you are in the kitchen cooking for your family. That would be annoying wouldn’t it? I assume you want control of these meals you wish him to pay for?

[Bleepbloopblarp]

When my ds’s friend came on holiday with us last year I didn’t ask for anything. He was our guest.
How did you approach the situation with her? You think you are doing her a favour taking her son away but maybe she feels she’s the one doing the favour sending her son as a companion for your ds?

[Bettysprocker]

I wouldn't have charged him a share of anything if I invited DS's friend (which we often did) so in my book you're already winning. I'd only expect the parents to give a bit of spending money.

[Ellisandra]

You’re taking the piss!
You’re using their child to make the holiday fun for your own.
They’re already paying £250 - honestly, did you spend more on the accommodation because of him? Changing from 2 to 3 bed?
You didn’t ask for food money - and I think most people, as a host, wouldn’t expect that.
And you’re £30 up.

It’s a perfectly fine gesture amount.

Next time - cost it to the penny and send the invoice in advance so you don’t have to be annoyed.

[EllaAlright]

Why is he paying 10%? That’s a bit steep for one teenager, who’s going to be keeping your DS company. Isn’t it the same cost wether there’s 3 or 4 of you? He is your ds friend after all. I think YABU. You didn’t expect money for food or ask. I think the other parents have been really reasonable.

[randomer]

Boundaries! What a shame this wasn't clear from the outset.