AIBU to be upset at pittance food cost offering?

[Lincspeeps]

Six of us are going to the south of France in a fortnight.

DH, me and DS (aged 16)

We have had a gite booked for ten months. The parents of DS's friend paid 10% of the cost towards this - £250 - and as we are driving down we are covering petrol etc.

The boy's mum gave me her final payment this morning (£100) and said 'I've included some money for food etc too'.

She'd added £30. To feed a 16-year-old boy for a fortnight.

AIBU to be a bit annoyed about this? We hadn't asked them to pay towards food so maybe I should be grateful we received anything but I just feel it's such a paltry amount it's hardly worth giving.

Presumably your accommodation and your petrol will cost the same, if you take ds's friend or not ?

So you are actually quids in without the £30, by taking accommodation money off his friend's family.
YABU.
You presumably invited his friend to make the holiday fun for ds, and, therefore, by default, for you. I'm sure you can feed him for £270.

It's a contribution. She's acknowledged it will cost you to feed him and has tried to make a dent in that. Yabu

@Minniee

Oh god I've never ever expected an invited child to pay towards accommodation.

I'd be shocked if one of my DCs has been asked to, especially for a gite holiday that presumably you'd have selected the same one whether they had come or not?

I think she's probably feeling that YABU.

Totally agree with this.

She has paid for you to have a discount on the cost of your holiday and her son is someone to hang out with for your son - she's doing YOU a favour! Very useful for you and cheap at any price.

I would not have had the gall to ask for 'payment' for a holiday that you would have paid the same for anyway. You should be delighted she included some money to cover some food costs.

Just to be clear, you invited him in the first place right?

What's gite?

Actually I know. I just think you sound rather mean

I would never send my children away for a fortnight and give 30.00 for food. I think it's very mean of the parents. I always give my children food/ treats even when they are just visiting cousins for a few hours without me.

@cariadlet

Nailed it👍

am cringing inside for you OP. If you invite a child on your holiday you pay for their accommodation and food! I would expect them to pay for their flight if they were flying but you're driving down.

Tight as fuck.

There would probably been a bigger contribution to food if there had not been a £250 charge.

She gave you money you didn't ask for and wasn't expecting. I don't see the issue here. If I'd have invited one of my son's friends on holiday with us, I would be expecting to foot the costs. I hope you don't make the poor boy feel awkward at any point of the holiday because of this.

Did anybody else have to google gite???? No...just me then [slinks away whistling]

LincsPeeps - We are going on holiday and would like to take your DS with us
FriendsMum - Great! How much?
LincsPeeps - £250 please
FM - (gives what has been agreed and an extra amount instead of flowers/chocs as a thank you)
LP - WORRA A FLIPPING LIBERTY!!!! HOW VERY DARE SHE?!!!!

Very strange reaction

What did you ask her to pay? Can you just say thanks and remind her that he will need cash or card for additional purchases? You could say you’re checking he has a card to pay for stuff as France May not use. Ash like us?

I would never dream of asking for money from a kid whom I had invited on holiday to keep my own DS company.

Take the £30, change it to euro's and give it to the kid as spends.

Don’t think OP will be back but I really want to know why the kid's mother paid the £250 to start with.

When you invited the kid to join your holiday, did you pay more (unlikely) to change the accommodation from 5 to 6 people or is the kid sharing a room with your son?

This is really nasty :( She's added a bit on to what you asked for as a thank you, and now you're here criticising her :(

am cringing inside for you OP. If you invite a child on your holiday you pay for their accommodation and food! I would expect them to pay for their flight if they were flying but you're driving down.

Tight as fuck.

^^^^^
This! I wouldn't have even taken the money for accommodation. Let's face it most Gites sleep more than 3 people. DH, DS 15 and I are currently looking ourselves and most of them are for minimum 4 to six people.

I'd happily take a pal of DS's if he had any.

It's usually expected that if you extend an invitation that you will pay all associated costs. Obviously you want your son's friend to join so that he has company. You only have one child so sometimes you will have to pay for his friends for his benefit. Of course if you arranged and asked for a certain amount with his family that's fine but if they gave you any extra, however little that amount is you should be happy with that instead of looking at it in disdain. I hope that you will treat your son and his friend equally during the trip.

Who are the other two people, and how much are they paying towards accommodation and food if they are adults?

£30 is a nice gesture, IMO, especially as you asked for nothing.

i don't understand why you're upset, op.

normally you invite someone to holiday at YOUR expense, i honestly cannot understand how you're so far out of kilter with the norm here.

and unless you actively say (beforehand!) that you expect £x to cover discretionary (non-travel/non-accommodation) costs you cannot complain.

you've basically taken money that no one would normally ask for... and not said what you expect CLEARLY.. and now you're disappointed.

it's a very odd situation entirely of your own making.

it's cost this other kid nearly £300 to tag along on his friend's holiday - i suggest you get your disappointed grabby hands out of his pocket further because you're being a terrible, terrible host.

if you can't afford to take someone on holiday why on earth suggest it.

YABU.

For the love of Mike, do not ask for more money. You will look rude and churlish. It's like people who invite friends and family for Xmas day dinner and then charge them.

This kid is doing you a favour by keeping your boy amused; they'll be out by themselves so you and your DH can have meals out alone etc.

Wow you have taken nearly £300 already, they probably feel you have had enough. You invite them you pay generally as it isn’t like the invite is without benefits for you.

If we invited one of our children's friends on holiday I would expect to pay for the whole thing so I would be happy with that!

The OP won’t be back.