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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To give notice to lodger after a night from hell with Police here three times

149 replies

Nutmeggy · 04/07/2020 18:45

I have a female lodger, generally been fine, been furloughed so.goes out for lots of long walks at night and I'm high risk to being very careful and WFH.

She came in last night about midnight aftwr a walk, all fine, both went to sleep.

Woken up at 2am by violent hammering on the door and shouting, she says o it's some random guy who has been following me.

Called police as i thought she meant a stalker.

Police came round. Then it turns out he is actually a guy she has been casually hooking up with for the last few weeks that she met in a park?. She tells police he assaulted her earlier that evening.

After police go, we both go back to sleep and I think i will talk to her in the morning. Lo and behold the guy comes back at 4am hammering and shouting , call police again.

He comes back again at 7.30am again screaming that he is going to.break down the door as she has stolen from him?

I'm getting different stories from her all the time but what massively scares me is that she is meeting random hookups whilst I thought she was being as careful as me as I have underlying health issue as she knows.

WWYD

OP posts:
Nutmeggy · 04/07/2020 18:47

Forgot to add she smokes weed and I think that's how she met him, but she is telling different stories so often that I don't know what to believe any more.

OP posts:
Marshmallow91 · 04/07/2020 18:48

Get rid. ASAP

ConstanceSalinger · 04/07/2020 18:48

Get her out at the soonest possible opportunity. You do not need this bringing to your door.

RandomUser3049 · 04/07/2020 18:49

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Evelefteden · 04/07/2020 18:52

Christ get rid.

Ursaminor · 04/07/2020 18:52

Also - where is she smoking weed? If it's in your house, and you know about it, you (as well as her) are guilty of a criminal offence.

Nutmeggy · 04/07/2020 18:59

Hi, I don't know where she is smoking it but I can smell it on her, if I ask she denies it but I can definitely smell it.

Whole thing very weird and more and more keeps coming out that makes me think I can't trust her.

Have apologised to all neighbours today and think she will have to find somewhere else to live

If she had been assaulted as she told.police wouldn't she have been upset and mentioned it when she got home that night? But no she was quite happy

I'm at a loss to understand

OP posts:
1Morewineplease · 04/07/2020 18:59

Yep... give notice immediately.
You don’t need this in your home.

MiddlesexGirl · 04/07/2020 19:01

She's a lodger. You don't need the hassle. Tell her to leave.

WhySoSexist · 04/07/2020 19:03

Yes. She needs to go asap. Unacceptable behaviour.

WhySoSexist · 04/07/2020 19:04

If she had been assaulted as she told.police wouldn't she have been upset and mentioned it when she got home that night? But no she was quite happy Different people respond to abuse differently. I was raped hundreds of times throughout my childhood by an adult close to my family - I guarantee my parents never suspected a change in my behaviour. It's not actually relevant whether he assaulted her - she needs to go either way.

Cherrysoup · 04/07/2020 19:05

Kick her out, you can’t feel unsafe in your own home. She’s clearly lying re the weed.

Osirus · 04/07/2020 19:05

We had this with our male lodger. He was charged with stalking and released on bail, so we had the police turning up at random times to make sure he was where he was supposed to be. 3am one morning! We had to get him out of bed!

He was convicted but given a suspended sentence.

FiveFootTwoEyesOfBlue · 04/07/2020 19:05

Before I'd read the rest of your post I thought it was odd enough to be going for long walks at night, especially as a single woman. Is she possibly involved in prostitution?

Osirus · 04/07/2020 19:05

You don’t want the hassle OP, she has to leave.

BigBadVoodooHat · 04/07/2020 19:06

AIBU to give notice to lodger after a night from hell with Police here three times

Are you expecting anybody to say YABU and she sounds like a real peach? Confused

madwoman1ntheattic · 04/07/2020 19:06

I’m in two minds. If she had been assaulted and you throw her out because her attacker came to the house three times, that’s pretty rough. You need to know what is happening. If the ‘attacker’ was arrested and charged, etc etc.
If it’s a couple of pot heads having a barney about nicking weed, she can do one. Quickly.

mencken · 04/07/2020 19:07

druggie. Get rid. Druggies support cuckooing, county lines, gang violence and knife crime. She's scum supporting scum.

if she's a random shagabout that's not ideal in a pandemic, but that's a lesser reason. Get her out and get the locks changed. As she is a lodger you can do it quickly.

TorkTorkBam · 04/07/2020 19:09

She has been putting your health at risk so she should be out for that reason alone.

Nutmeggy · 04/07/2020 19:09

@madwoman1ntheattic

That's it , I just don't know as she lies and I don't know what to believe

OP posts:
WhySoSexist · 04/07/2020 19:16

@madwoman1ntheattic Even if she was assaulted yesterday, she's still meeting up with people during lockdown and having sex with them even though OP is vulnerable and concerned about the virus. She's literally put OP's life at risk and broken the law. On top of that, she's taking illegal drugs and most likely bringing them into the property.

Thinkingabout1t · 04/07/2020 19:19

The lying alone would make me want her to leave. But her high-risk behaviour makes it essential. Whatever she's doing, she is putting your life in danger. She has to go.

back2good · 04/07/2020 19:19

I'd give her notice immediately.

zingally · 04/07/2020 19:30

Absolutely. Kick her out. You don't need this at your door.

Nutmeggy · 04/07/2020 19:32

@FiveFootTwoEyesOfBlue

Before I'd read the rest of your post I thought it was odd enough to be going for long walks at night, especially as a single woman. Is she possibly involved in prostitution?
Hi, I'm.sure not!!!
OP posts: