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Original poster

To give notice to lodger after a night from hell with Police here three times

149 replies

Nutmeggy · 04/07/2020 18:45

I have a female lodger, generally been fine, been furloughed so.goes out for lots of long walks at night and I'm high risk to being very careful and WFH.

She came in last night about midnight aftwr a walk, all fine, both went to sleep.

Woken up at 2am by violent hammering on the door and shouting, she says o it's some random guy who has been following me.

Called police as i thought she meant a stalker.

Police came round. Then it turns out he is actually a guy she has been casually hooking up with for the last few weeks that she met in a park?. She tells police he assaulted her earlier that evening.

After police go, we both go back to sleep and I think i will talk to her in the morning. Lo and behold the guy comes back at 4am hammering and shouting , call police again.

He comes back again at 7.30am again screaming that he is going to.break down the door as she has stolen from him?

I'm getting different stories from her all the time but what massively scares me is that she is meeting random hookups whilst I thought she was being as careful as me as I have underlying health issue as she knows.

WWYD

OP posts:
Original poster
Nutmeggy · 04/07/2020 21:48

You are massively projecting here and I think being quite unreasonable

OP posts:
nicegem · 04/07/2020 21:51

Same as ending a relationship, you don’t need a reason for getting rid of a lodger. I had a similar lodger, within 3 weeks of moving in she had her bank account hacked (so couldn’t pay rent), her car allegedly keyed and was apparently hospitalised for falling down my stairs Hmm you don’t need the drama! She stole from me when she moved out too so be careful. Was small items such as unopened make up and bottles of booze from my cocktail cabinet that I didn’t notice at first.

baubled · 04/07/2020 21:59

@PlanDeRaccordement just incase you didn't understand the first time, it has NOTHING to do with what she smokes and how late she goes for a walk. The OP said a few weeks, it's not unreasonable to think it could be during stricter lockdown and either way, in my opinion, she is still being reckless having sex with a stranger when the OP (and if I read correctly, herself) have health conditions.

baubled · 04/07/2020 21:59

@PlanDeRaccordement just incase you didn't understand the first time, it has NOTHING to do with what she smokes and how late she goes for a walk. The OP said a few weeks, it's not unreasonable to think it could be during stricter lockdown and either way, in my opinion, she is still being reckless having sex with a stranger when the OP (and if I read correctly, herself) have health conditions.

Butterer · 04/07/2020 22:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Butterer · 04/07/2020 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 04/07/2020 22:24

I don't think anyone thinks late night walks are anything wrong, and I think in lock down alot of people did it as it was quieter.

But keeping quiet about meeting randoms for sex amidst the pandemic is what irritates and scares me, I don't trust her any more as i would never have found out if the random hadn't come.round 3 times , 2 times in the middle.of the night and the police called.

Then what she described as a stalker turned out to be a hook up trying to recover his property , still no.clue what this was.

All moot now as she will leave at the end of the month !

OP posts:
Original poster
Nutmeggy · 04/07/2020 22:26

Thanks @butterer

OP posts:
GimmeAy · 04/07/2020 22:39

I had someone mistake me for a hooker once. I was in oversized tracksuit bottoms, a pyjama top, a hoodie and a coat, but I was standing outside a corner shop while DP went inside to finish my cigarette. Some dude in a big car pulls up and asked me was I working! After I nearly choked on my cigarette, he wound up his window and DP exited the shop, so I told him what had happened. Ex being a hot head knocked on his window and was shouting something stupid like - you think you can buy her? so the john sped off. I was just thinking to myself though, we're all just meat to these men - I looked like something the cat dragged in. I couldn't have been less sexily dressed and THIS THING wanted to have sex with me? Fuck's sake. I have my standards lol. At least proposition me on a good day!!!

BrummyMum1 · 04/07/2020 22:39

@WhySoSexist I’m so sorry to hear that Flowers that’s horrendous.

GimmeAy · 04/07/2020 22:39

OP he's not a random - he's who she's seeing.

IdblowJonSnow · 04/07/2020 22:46

Bung her out. You need to be able to trust someone living in your home and you can't. Plus she has knowingly put you at risk.
You sound too nice OP!

jessstan2 · 04/07/2020 22:56

I'm surprised the guy came back twice more after the cops had been called, you'd think they'd have warned him off. Banging on someone else's door like that is just not on.

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 04/07/2020 23:02

Yes it surprised me too, but they arrived each time after he had gone and then at 7.30am they came very quickly and he heard the sirens and ran off

From what she has said since he is in trouble with the police anyway but I don't know what for.

OP posts:
jessstan2 · 04/07/2020 23:10

He has a damn cheek. Give her notice, she'll find somewhere else to live.

Lorddenning1 · 04/07/2020 23:16

@PlanDeRaccordement

I’d first see if she needs help. I think it is heartless to kick her out just because you don’t want any trouble. Reminds me of the people peering out their windows and then shutting them and not helping me when I was screaming for help being raped in an alley. They didn’t want any trouble then either.
MN at its finest, how can you jump to this from what the OP has said, the mind boggles, Christ
BornOnThe4thJuly · 04/07/2020 23:46

@WhySoSexist I’m so sorry you went through that. I hope you’ve got support now Flowers

TW2013 · 05/07/2020 00:09

She will be safer if she moves somewhere he doesn't know the address of. Would that help to sell it to herald get her out sooner. Although you have given 4 weeks is it worth saying that she can move sooner without penalty if she finds somewhere.

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 05/07/2020 00:14

The police and I told her to block him on her phone which she said she had.

However she has just messaged me to say she has heard from him and he won't be coming back. I'm in bed but can't sleep as after last night expecting a visit again.

So evidently not blocked and still in touch.

It's this stuff that does my head in

OP posts:
Cramitmaam · 05/07/2020 00:38

No matter what she says, stick to your guns. She needs to go.

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 05/07/2020 00:42

She is going no two ways about it!

OP posts:
1forAll74 · 05/07/2020 01:35

If your lodger was fine before, as you said, You should be able to talk to her about this issue. But now she is lying about things, and has no respect for you or your home. She does not deserve to stay with you, and put you through any more trouble of this kind.

Duvetdoggy · 05/07/2020 01:43

Chaotic, will create more chaos and drag you into it.
Check and hide all valuables and get your deposit (if applicable) before she leaves.

Then change your locks.

Cornetto69 · 05/07/2020 02:26

[quote WhySoSexist]@madwoman1ntheattic Even if she was assaulted yesterday, she's still meeting up with people during lockdown and having sex with them even though OP is vulnerable and concerned about the virus. She's literally put OP's life at risk and broken the law. On top of that, she's taking illegal drugs and most likely bringing them into the property.[/quote]
I agree 100%. Even if she was assaulted, it isn't the OP's issue to deal with.

If I were in the OP's shoes and I had a lodger involved in anything vaguely whiffing of crime they would be out on their ear.

Cornetto69 · 05/07/2020 02:30

@Nutmeggy

The police and I told her to block him on her phone which she said she had.

However she has just messaged me to say she has heard from him and he won't be coming back. I'm in bed but can't sleep as after last night expecting a visit again.

So evidently not blocked and still in touch.

It's this stuff that does my head in

She not blocked him? She still in touch with him? after he allegedly assaulted her???? Sounds very fishy to me.