Fed up with MIL calling to the house non stop

[Rosiebelle17]

Hi I’m ready to explode
My mother in law calls non stop in person over 5/6 times every day
She calls at meal times bed times etc and will not go away , she calls when I have my own family and will not go away
I have tried pulling all the blinds but she keeps knocking and calling out
She knows I’m there as she sees my car outside the house
Someone please help me
I have two kids under 3 and the disruption is causing havoc
I asked my husband to tell her politely but he goes off on a rant that he will tell her stay away for good

Would you be this anoid if it were your own mum calling 5/6 times a day? If my husband told me my mum couldn't visit as much as this then is be saying bye bye to him...she has every right to go round to see him or her grandkids

Why don't you just speak to her? Just explain nicely that some days you're pretty busy so could she call in advance to ask if it's ok.

@Lisa82sim

Would you be this anoid if it were your own mum calling 5/6 times a day? If my husband told me my mum couldn't visit as much as this then is be saying bye bye to him...she has every right to go round to see him or her grandkids

I would be so annoyed if my mum did this to me, never mind to my husband.

You think it would be okay for you to be at work and your mum to call in on your husband more than 5 times a day? Not take no for an answer, disrupt kids at bedtime, creeping around and looking in windows and push her way in even when your dh has friends or family over?

You're either a troll or a busybody yourself.

Is she alone?
Is she lonely?
Are you the daughter she has never had?
Can you encourage her to meet other people?
Can you encourage her to find hobbies?
Can you did down with her and have a heart to heart saying you would like quality time with her rather than quantity ?

Huh, my adult dc's have never relinquished their house keys and quite happily let themselves into our home!
I would never even call round to theirs unannounced, so why they think its okay to just walk in!
Ds1 even lets himself in even if the house is empty, make himself a coffee and help himself to cake!

is she lonely ......

I do think that is different HazelBite
I have adult dc I'm happy for them to let themselves in - this is their home and always will be.
However, a home they live in, with a dh / dw / dp isn't my home and never has been.
If you don't want your adult dc to let themselves in, that is totally valid, but you need to have a specific conversation with them to change what they have been doing for 20+ years. That is very different from letting yourself into a home that isn't, and never has been yours.

Maybe you should follow through with not answering the door! Or move your car in a different place.

Just leave a note on the door saying "if you want another grandchild, go away"

This behaviour sounds so extreme, has nobody thought of some sort of psychological/ mental illness? What sort of relationship has there been since the marriage? Was mother in law normal at that time? Her relationship with your husband sounds pretty difficult. You need to get to the bottom of this.

Ignore her and bribe the kids to hide with sweets

We had this with my in laws. They'd randomly turn up uninvited and plonk themselves down expecting to be fed and entertained.
I stuck it for over a year getting more and more fed up until one Sunday, not long before dinnertime, dh and I were on our way back home and I suggested we call in at theirs. Dh was worried we would be intruding but I persuaded him.
She answered the door looking very put out, told us she was just about to go out, and put the bag she was holding across our path. I charged in, stepping over the bag saying dont mind us, we can chat to FIL in your absence.
I cant remember how long we stayed but I do know they never came to ours uninvited again 😉

My mil hardly ever comes round and has no interest in her grandchildren which is fine by me. I would hate it if my own mother came round often let alone someone else’s. I can’t stand visitors at the best of times. I would leave my partner if he had a problem with moving and would go so far away she couldn’t visit. God I’m angry for you. It would make me ill

Show your husband this thread.

Late MIL was very persistent like this, except that as she was too frail to leave the house on her own she'd phone BIL up to six times a day when she was at her worst. It was all due to dementia and drove BIL to the brink. In the end he had to have her put in a home which she hated but she was simply unmanageable. Being widowed didn't help and her friends deserted her.

Could something similar be going on with her?

Your mil sounds like my fil.

We moved.

How old is she? Could it be dementia?

Thank god my mam not too near us. Some days I just think there is no respect or boundaries. Op your husband should be on your side. Families eh

@ChrissyPlummer great idea

I would tell my husband to stop being so dramatic and talk to his mother or is he a coward...you need some boundaries before the relationship totally deteriorates

My mil used to do this - we moved. It was the only way! It caused no end of arguments. Even now - if she manages to rope in one of her other kids to give her lift - she turns up without warning. I'm
So glad she can't drive!

Be honest & tell her, for your own sanity & self-preservation.

Move house. X

Could he have been tired and grumpy because he knew her visit was going to cause him more grief from you?
In which case, stick with it! The message may be getting through.

Omg! I’m guessing you’re at home looking after the littles ones....I’d go out a lot! Park your car somewhere else? Chin up soon the kids will be at school and you can get a job or stay out or at least pretend to be out!
Good luck I’d hate it too!