Fed up with MIL calling to the house non stop

[Rosiebelle17]

Hi I’m ready to explode
My mother in law calls non stop in person over 5/6 times every day
She calls at meal times bed times etc and will not go away , she calls when I have my own family and will not go away
I have tried pulling all the blinds but she keeps knocking and calling out
She knows I’m there as she sees my car outside the house
Someone please help me
I have two kids under 3 and the disruption is causing havoc
I asked my husband to tell her politely but he goes off on a rant that he will tell her stay away for good

And tell her you've told your own family the same.

I would honestly move.

Does she come for the kids? If so why not encourage her to take them to her place. When she returns you can say you have plans. Honestly at that age I loved having my gran around (she lived with us) so I wouldn’t do or say anything to cause offence. Seems like she really likes you!

😂😂

Stop trying to make her get the picture by hiding. Just tell her straight you do not need her turning up constantly you want to have your own routine. Set a time a couple days a week she can visit for a set amount of time then when that time comes you say we have to go to.... Or do..... Make it clear you don't want her dropping by unannounced constantly. If your dh has a problem with you telling her to stop it as it sounds like his answer is a sarcastic il tell her not to bother at all then you tell him she can drop by in the evening when his home and you can go out. You simply do not want to entertain her all day as well as the dc.

You're either going to have to move or you're going to have to toughen up and ignore her.

Ignore the knocking at the door and windows. Take the kids upstairs so they cant see her. Put your fingers in your ears and shout la la la if you need too.

Do it for a few weeks and see how you get on. You'll need to come up with a strategy for how to manage arranged visit. So would calling her be best? Dont engage with any discussion on ignoring her; if she starts on that then hung up. When you're on the phone just say "I'm not going to discuss your constant knocking at our house. I'm just calling to invite you round at 2PM on saturday if you're available".
If she starts, just say "we've asked you to stop and you havent so now we ignore it. I wont discuss it further" and hang up if you need to.

Be tough.

She just spends the day driving around
I’m on the route home so that’s why I get so many calls , I don’t know why it’s driving me nuts tonight but I actually enjoyed my time with the kids during lock down and we have a great routine now

Put a For Sale sign up!

Print out some address labels for her telling her that is where she lives.

Seriously OP tell her firmly and politely before you just end up screaming at her to fuck off. Try out some techniques you thought would be apt for your older child's age group. Do not give in to tantrums.

At least get an estate agent out to value the house and say you're thinking of moving if she doesn't stop disturbing you.

Why can't you just tell her it's not convenient? I genuinely don't understand why you wouldn't.

When she comes 2m just say you're having quiet time for the rest of the day do please don't knock. If she knocks, let her knock or open the door and reiterate that puregym having quiet time.

Repeat as necessary

Sell, without a doubt!, tell your DH you want to sell and now. You are going to insane soon.

The woman has no boundaries. You cannot “hint” with people like this. Because they don’t care, they have no boundaries (!).

Just be straight. When she turns up unannounced say “this is not convenient, you need to stop turning up all the time it’s intrusive. I’m not going to answer the door or the phone any more.” And make sure you lock the doors! (Please tell me she Doesn’t have a key?!)

You have to be direct with rude intrusive people it’s the only way. She will probably strop and tantrum but seriously what are you afraid of? If she flounces off in a huff then win win!

But actually I would genuinely have to move.

I live 4 hours drive from my family for a reason

I have told her that calling at bedtime drives them mad and that they are up til 12 (that is true) if she is there
Takes no notice or says they will go to bed when they are tired

I think you need to lose the plot with her and go crazy. If she doesn’t take you seriously, then I think a move is inevitable. Tell her that.

OP, I dont understand this. If you close the door on her and lock it then how is she managing to say these things and come in when your family are there etc.

Just lock the door and ignore her.

Toughen up. You're a grown up. Tell her your boundaries, tell her you will be closing the door on her if she steps outside of those when it is not an emergency and tell her you wont be responding to her if she stays on the doorstep knocking. Then actually do it.

Throw eggs at her

Telling her is no good
I need a strategy to stop it
Many thanks for all the replies
I like the one of taking the kids up stairs but we are a bungalow with lots of windows so hard to hide

I think you’re probably going to have to be as rude as she is. Get mad. Ask her why she never stops coming round. Tell her it’s too much and it’s suffocating you. So what if she strops. It will give you a break anyway. And your husband clearly isn’t going to help you.

You use a strategy. Lock the door and ignore her.

It will be a hard few weeks. But do it.

Tell her one last time what your boundaries are. Tell her how you will respond when she shows up. Then actually do it.

Your kids are little. You're going to have to control them if she starts knocking on the windows. Move them to another room immediately, distract them, take them to the kitchen for a snack. Whatever.

Just ignore her. That's the main thing.

Could you have a member of your family say “ wow you are always here, I mean I’m jealous but we’ve got to let them live their own life as their own mini family” or something to that accord? Could you not speak to your MIL and say very firmly next time she comes “ I closed the blinds because it’s not a good time for you to be calling right now. I’ll give you a call when it is.” You could even do this without opening the door (just by phoning her mobile) if she carries it. Maybe she thinks she’s genuinely helping as she thinks she’s granny childcare rather than a guest to entertain?

I wouldn’t hide in my own home! I’d tell her strictly and firmly that she is welcome at X time on Y day.

If she shows up at any other time/day Ud hope up a sign that says “Sorry we’re busy right now I can’t let you in. This is not your arranged time/day”.

It sounds ridiculous but I’d honestly do it. Essentially you are letting her into your home when you shouldn’t be.

This is a horror story.

Teach your kids hide and seek so that they think it's fun to hide from her.

Also come on op, stand up for yourself a bit. Start blocking her out gradually, slowly stop talking and engaging with her or even responding. It will take a while but you can completely shut out.

It would be much quicker to tell her to fuck off!!
Best of luck op, this sounds like HELL!!!

Just don't let her in. Chat for two minutes at the door and then say "thanks for calling, sorry I can't chat, I've got to xyz urgently".

You need to answer the door, be as rude as you dare "Fuck off/Go away Monster-in-law I've told you not to come round all the time". Then shut and lock the door and don't open it again. Do this every time she comes. Arrange a time she is welcome and only let her in then.

I’d hold (not Ud hope)

Have you thought of moving? I would.